Friday, March 21, 2008


Warning: I'm getting very open here!

So, these past few days I've been pondering some things pertaining to intimacy- in all aspects- physical, emotional, spiritual. The other night, after experiencing a wonderful time of worship in physical intimacy with my husband, Gary later said- I love you so much. I love doing life with you. I love God's gift to us. I love you!  Of course, this made me smile, and I laughed with him and said- of course you do, after THAT!  :)   (though I did agree with him. I love him much!)

So then my thoughts were turned toward my past, and the same kinds of things I've done, unmarried, and think of the shame. Of course, it is right for me to be ashamed for those things, because they were not done in God's design of marriage. But, as I thought through some things, I was so grateful to God for how He's brought much change to my heart concerning the physical aspects of intimacy. I told Gary that I do with him what I would have been embarrassed or completely ashamed of in the past- and in the past, whenever I did those things, I was either drunk or high, and now I'm completely coherent!  :) 

What I've been really pondering is the correlation between the intimacy of deep conversation/pouring out of the heart for men, and the intimacy of physical intimacy/s*x for women. The amount of transparency, vulnerability, and freedom is equivalent in both. The deepness, the requiring of much trust and ability to be completely free corresponds to each: pouring out of the heart for men = physical intimacy for women

What is required of me to give of myself physically to Gary is the same kind of vulnerability he is required to give to me when he is very open and shares his heart with me. The beautiful thing is, they feed each other. When Gary loves me through being very real, open, and takes the time to really talk with me, I naturally want to respond by being as close to him as physically possible. And when I'm giving to him physically, he is more apt to open up to me.

It is SUCH an amazing gift. And I can see why many marriages, even "christian" ones, struggle. I'm praying that God would continue to reveal more of Himself through this. There is much in Scripture that supports that marriage is as close a picture of God's glory revealed on earth as we get to experience- a picture of Christ and His Bride. I am so wanting our marriage to rightly display God's glory, in every aspect!

What are your thoughts? Scriptural backup? I'd love to hear it!


Bride-to-Be! said...

I am reading "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.. and what you said goes right along with what he says in his book.. He says that everyone has a "love bank" and when our love bank is full, then we are basically, more happy, loving people, who are apt to meet our loved ones needs and fill their love tanks. So, maybe I'm totally off there and that doesn't correlate at all, but, that's just my thought...

SharonB said...

Lynette this really spoke to me. Because of past circumstances in my life I've had a hard time seeing intimacy between man and woman as worship. I am so thankful for my husbands patience...and God's patience as I continue to learn to see marriage intimacy as He meant it to be.