Passion Conference: Yes, Lord!

I spent most of today, a Saturday (it's already technically Sunday, but I don't count it til I go to bed) doing housework with the Passion conference live stream on all day. If you haven't heard of the Passion conferences, or 268 Generation, you need to know. Go check out www.268generation.com for more details. The "268 generation" comes from Isaiah 26:8- "Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your truth, your name and your renown are the desire of my heart." Passion conferences are geared toward singles, ages 18-25, & their leaders. So why is this married, with 5 children, 35 yr old woman talking about, listening in on, & now blogging about Passion?!

If you're a church goer, you have been impacted by Passion whether you know it or not, as most of our current praise songs have been written by the worship leaders of Passion- Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Nathan & Christy Nockels, Matt Redmon, Charlie Hall, Kristian Stanfill, etc- are all a part of the Passion music worship team. These leaders write songs with deep truth of God, mostly Bible Scriptures put to music, regularly. Louie Giglio, founder of the Passion conferences, is a well known Bible teacher, along with many of those who've shared God's truth at Passion: John Piper, Beth Moore, Matt Chandler, Christine Caine,  Francis Chan, along with others.

Thing is, many of them were leading ME in worship at our Monday night Bible study, Metro, in Houston, TX, as an 18 year old, single girl. Or during our worship services at Houston's First Baptist Church. I had NO idea what amazingly talented people were leading me into His presence in song, and challenging me in His truth. I just knew at the time, that I'd never experienced such personal & real nearness of God like that before. And I certainly needed it. I needed Him. Desperately. (I realize, I still do. The desperate need of Him is continual.)

So there I was, having just come from a time of complete rebellion, hard hearted, having tried to do it  all "my way"-first, as the pharisaical church brat; then later, completely outwardly rebellious-  the guys, the partying, & all that comes with it. It was in the summer after I graduated high school in 1997, that I reached my breaking point. In a series of events that rocked my world, I was left broken. It really is the only way to describe it. Broken. A broken mess.

A broken mess that has a momma that prayed for me continually, and asked everyone she knew to pray for me too. God heard those prayers and turned my heart back to Him. (That whole process is it's own post, or a coffee date.) So, at the very end of September 1997, I was driving from small town Nazareth, PA, to big city Houston, TX.

I'll never, ever forget those years sitting under their teaching & worship leading. It's not a form of Christian name dropping for me. Yeah, it's pretty fun that all those Christian "big names" (in a worldly sense..ha, isn't that ironic) were the ones that I learned from, but it was in my parent's home where I'd heard it first. It wasn't that it was new to me. But it was NEW to me.

Really, it's how absolutely INCREDIBLE that season of Jesus becoming my dearest Treasure, my heart's deepest desire, & my deepest joy was in that timeframe.  It was in this season that Christianity was no longer about rules to follow, or things to do (or not do),  or certain actions or causes to do or stand for- it became simply about JESUS. Jesus as THE prize, THE main point, THE reward. Not using Jesus to get something else that I valued, but Jesus BECOMING who I valued! There's a big difference. I pray if you're reading this, God will make it true for your heart as well.

So tonight, as Chris, Kristian, Charlie, David, Christy, and all the rest of the Passion band sang...my heart was so full. They took it way back, singing some old school Passion songs, and I remember. I remember the battles, the struggles, the offerings. I remember singing "Better is One Day in your courts..." as an 18 yr old single girl who so wanted a husband (in ministry) & a family one day, but wanted to want Jesus more. I remember offering up my desire for a husband (like daily) and singing on the top of my lungs that song, Psalm 84, tears streaming down my face, believing that YES, Jesus, you are worth more than me having a man! And tonight, 17 years later, I sang it with tears streaming down my face while laying on my bed with my pastor-husband, the daddy to our 5 beautiful children, as we watched those very same worship leaders lead us in praise via live stream. I.can't.even. The very thing I laid at His feet, He gave. And then song after song, it was one after another, of beautiful truth that represented some other timeframe, some other struggle, some other beautiful representation of His mercy and grace. And it makes my heart absolutely SWELL with joy.

Our God is absolutely, unbelievably amazing. In His "yes"...and in His "no." He doesn't always give us what we've offered up. But He always, always gives us HIM. And that, that is more than enough. HE is more than enough.

"In His presence is fullness of joy, and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore."- Psalm 16:11

New Year, New Resolutions: Blogging Again!

Well, it's been 3 years (to the day) since I've posted on our blog. THREE.WHOLE.YEARS. I'm attributing (blaming) that partially on Facebook, since before I created a Facebook account (as one of the very last people in our circle of family and friends to join the Facebook world), I was faithfully posting on our blog, as a sort of journaling. Then, Facebook entered life, and I started sharing more on there rather than on here. But, since Facebook isn't exactly the place for sharing deep thoughts, and I'm sure my forever long posts (where you see the "...") are annoying to a large number of people, I'm committed to blogging again.

I had made a New Year's resolution last year to begin blogging again, and it was one of them that got put to the wayside. I kept waiting for ideas on what I should even blog about...should I scrap our old family blog, and start a new, more focused one? Should I only record our family things, and things we learn from them? Then I stressed, and that shut it all down. I don't always do well with decision making.

Last weekend, I looked at my list of New Year's resolutions from last year, and marked by the ones that I didn't accomplish. They got written into my list for 2015. This whole blogging thing was high on the list. I definitely want things to be recorded. And while I journal personally, those thoughts and prayers aren't for people to necessarily see. Some things, I'd like the opportunity to share...to be talked over, challenged, discussed, or as an encouragement or help to someone else. More than anything, I want to help others to see Jesus for who He is- Worthy, and to share in Treasuring Him. The thoughts, things we learn, questions we wrestle with, and personal testimony of how we get to see God in the everyday...I want to share them, with whoever will "listen" as a source of encouragement. I know sometimes I need to "see" Him at work in others lives to keep on believing Him in mine.

I'm currently feeling in a place of contentment. Not exactly content with current circumstances, or really liking certain things, but, I am "okay" with it NOT being okay. I feel content IN God, in what He has right now. That's why I just went ahead and moved the undone resolutions from last year into this year's list. His grace empowered us for what was to be for last year. Yes, there are things left undone. And while often times that may frustrate my perfectionist personality, I think lately, I'm seeing more and more that my imperfection only highlights His pure perfection. I'm not going to stop making goals, or not have New Year's resolutions for fear of not reaching them. I'm believing God has given me what He has set out for me to aim for this year. And, I KNOW He will be glorified regardless of if that list is completed. He'll get the glory in giving strength to complete whatever He empowers me to accomplish, and He'll get the glory in my getting to see Him as God, the only one who can accomplish all He sets His mind to, in whatever I fail to check off that list. Isn't that the point, anyway? His glory!

Praying for grace.

Helping Haiti

We're here again. It's January 2012!

It will mark 2 years since the major earthquake that devastated Haiti & wrecked our family's heart- in a good way. God used that to wake us up to the reality of so many who are hurting around the world. In response to that, we felt a huge burden to DO SOMETHING. But what? What can a family who has limited resources (or so we think- us Americans are way spoiled & need a redefining of that...that's like a whole new post...or 10...) But really, what CAN a family do? It's not like we can fly to Haiti & literally help. We're just not a place to do that. What can we as parents of young children do to help our kids see people in need & respond? We felt burdened that our kids care...that they don't get used to seeing others hurting & just walk away, but that they would feel for them & do what they can, make some sacrifices, & help relieve the pain, be a part of the healing. In the name of Jesus.

So, we asked God. What can we do, Lord? And this is what He gave us:

For one week, as a family, we will eat oatmeal for dinner. This will help our family get a very small taste (literally) of what it is like to have the same thing for a meal repeatedly- much like many refugees. It will help to build a gratefulness for the reality of how fortunate we really are- that we even have a choice of something to eat for dinner is more than what most of the world today has. The money we would have spent on the groceries for the week of dinners, instead, will be given to Samaritan's Purse's Haiti Project, to help in relief projects. The time that would have normally been spent on prepping dinner, will be spent on looking together online at pictures, articles & video of Haiti, the people, the needs, & how they are being helped, & then time spent praying together for them.

We did this in 2010 after the earthquake, & have felt compelled to continue it every January, to help us remember, as well as to help in the rebuilding of Haiti.

We invite you to join us! We'll be doing our oatmeal dinners for the week of January 15th-21st, but do it whenever you can. Maybe you'll do a different meal like pb&j, or rice, or whatever- the point is not in what you decide to eat, but that it will be a minimal sacrifice for your family to enable you to give to those who truly are suffering.

Let's make a difference- in our own family, & in the lives of the suffering in Haiti & beyond- for the glory of His name!

Looking back on 2011

It has been such a long time in posting! This is our Christmas letter, a look back on 2011 & what God did in our hearts as a family. It is good to see God do the impossible & mold our hearts to His.

Luke 1:37-38 “For nothing will be impossible with God.

And Mary said, ‘ Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word…”

The year 2011 in the Hirsch home has been full of testimony of the truth that “nothing will be impossible with God”.

As Mary received this word from the angel, we ourselves have heard this truth from the Lord and sought to respond as Mary, “I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word…” With His strength, we have fought hard to keep our hearts in a place of surrender & willingness to go through whatever He wills. Though at times the pressure of His forming has seemed too much to bear, He has been faithful to keep us, grow us, & always do as He promises. Our hearts are full as we reflect on His goodness to us this past year, preparing to celebrate Christmas & looking forward to the New Year.

As the year began, we knew that the business, Kosh Wholesale, was no longer in God’s plan as provision for our family. Though we’d worked hard for many months to make adjustments & keep it open, it was time to close down. Of course, it is a scary thing as a business owner, losing your business, your means of income. It was so sad to have to let our employees go, as they have been much like an extended family to us. The entire situation was heart wrenching, & confusing, as we questioned what God was doing.

In February we were faced with the reality of no income for our family of 7 – how would the bills get paid, our basic needs met? So many things involved losing the business, including the very real possibility of losing our house, vehicles, & possessions as well. The season of the “unknown” was a time of intense pruning & surrender to whatever He willed. Would we be willing to go through whatever He wanted us to, at whatever cost to us, in order for us to see Christ as most treasured? Impossible on our own, we are thankful for His work in our hearts to lay it down at His feet. God proved His faithfulness to us through many of you, our family & friends, to be there for us in encouragement, prayer, & continued support.

Just as we needed it, friends of ours who have a ministry to provide “retreats” to families sent us away, expenses paid, to Branson, for a Focus on the Family Couples getaway called “A Weekend to Remember”. It was a rich time for us to be alone, be refreshed, & strengthen our marriage. Just a month later, we were invited to an all expenses paid young leader’s retreat where we were able to spend time with dear friends, including some we hadn’t seen in years. Talk about God providing the impossible! Both of those weekends were cherished times for us in such a stressful season.

In May, we celebrated our 10-year anniversary weekend with a family trip to Houston, TX, surprising Lynette’s sister Tiffany on her engagement. What we thought would be an impossible trip, God again provided for us, to be able to be there to celebrate Ryan & Tiffany’s engagement, & our anniversary. It was so fun to be in the very place that we met, got engaged, married, & spent our newlywed days. We even had a full day in Houston to ourselves to go to our “special” places, including time praying at the altar in the worship center of Houston’s First Baptist church where we said our vows.

In June we traveled to Kansas City, MO for Lynette’s brother Jonathan & Christina’s wedding. God again made the impossible, possible, by providing for every last detail. It was such a fun wedding & we experienced such a sense of community & love from their friends.

We again traveled to Kansas City in July to take our first family mission trip as a part of Global Encounter’s Project.

It was such a meaningful time for us, as Gary had been part of their first mission trip to Houston, TX, 20 years ago- it was that trip that kept him coming back year after year & eventually led to his move & youth ministry position. Both Gary & Lynette served at the Houston Projects while single, so it was especially meaningful to be the co-site coordinators with our friends, bringing our entire families! While there, God crossed our path with a group of youth from Thayer!

It was such a rich time connecting with them. We saw God at work & committed to be praying for them all- we still are! In that time, we thought perhaps God was leading us to serve in a ministry position there; however, God providentially closed that door as well.

We experienced much heartache in situations where our name had been misrepresented & things not handled correctly. In an already hard season, it was more than we could emotionally bear, & we struggled through, feeling it impossible to forgive those who wronged us so deeply. Again, God does the impossible & our hearts are grateful for the opportunity to grow through the hurt.

We traveled back to Houston, TX for Lynette’s sister Tiffany & Ryan’s wedding in November. The week was full of wedding parties, preparations & such- a blessed time! While there, all 7 of us experienced some sort of food poisoning sickness & throughout the week struggled through. It was so bittersweet, as it was a joyous time for our family but heartbreaking to think that we may miss the wedding! Our strength completely gone, we knew it was impossible for us to keep going. Cleaning up after everyone, staying in someone else’s home, an intense schedule- it was over the top! God again proved His faithfulness to us in providing strength, & restoring us just enough to join in on the celebrations.

We were so thankful!

This entire year has been one testimony after another of God’s faithfulness to provide for us. Many- too many to mention- family, friends, church body, have given to us in numerous ways. Many have blessed us financially to help pay for bills, offered help with childcare, brought us groceries…it has been amazing to watch. We have watched God provide as we have sought to start our new business, “His Heritage Merchant Supply”, the flower route that we had established a few years ago in conjunction with Kosh Wholesale. The hope is for it to grow enough to be able to support us fully. Gary has also been blessed to work with a friend who works construction on occasion, where he is also learning many new skills. Lynette’s handmade business, “The Work of Her Hand” has started to grow as well.

While we are still members of First Baptist Church in West Plains, Gary was asked in August to preach regularly at Chapel Hill Baptist Church here in Thayer. It has been a blessing for Gary to use his gifts, and refreshing for Lynette to hear him preaching again. Many of our West Plains friends have joined us for the service at times- the support is so appreciated. We are praying on what God’s will is for the future concerning our serving there more fully. We have stayed connected to our Tuesday night men’s & women’s Bible study (switching each week) & that group has become our small group of sorts, “doing life” with each other, true friends who speak truth in love & challenge us, pray with us, & cry with us as well.

At times we have been so exhausted & just spent. While the trials continue, we are trusting God to use them to serve their purpose in us. We pray that means we will treasure Him more than anything else & love others deeply as a result.

We remind ourselves that while it has been hard, we have so much to be thankful for! While we may have financial instability, our marriage is stronger than ever- we continue to fight together to keep growing as one in Christ.

Our family is full of love & laughter as each of the children grows & makes life sweet.

Bekah is now 9 ½, in 4^th grade, home school, & such a thoughtful, helpful young lady. She loves to make things, & now enjoys selling them too. J She is so very helpful with all her siblings & loves on them like a little mommy. Belle is our sweet social butterfly, now 5 years old & in kindergarten. She is a girly girl & loves all things princess & pink. She looks up to her big sister so much that often she just says- I want what Bekah wants. Bethany (Nini) is our little 4 yr old monkey, enjoying preschool at home. She still loves all things monkey & is just a carefree, her own little self. Brie turned 3 in October, & is our expressive, dynamic personality. She emphasizes everything & has so much expression, it’s too cute. Kaleb turns 2 on January 1^st & just tries to keep up! He loves his big sisters & is quickly learning how to survive in a household full of girls. He can spot a ball a mile away & loves to wrestle with Daddy.

So whatever impossibility you are facing, we pray that you will know the truth that “nothing is impossible with God” & respond accordingly with a heart that trusts Him & treasures Him- “let it be to me according to your word.” Whatever He wills, may we be surrendered to for His name’s sake. He truly is worthy. We love you all and pray for you!

Only by His Grace-

Gary, Lynette, Bekah, Belle, Bethany, Brie, & Kaleb

Holding on

The Lord continues to be good, reminding us that He is good and His plans for us are for His glory and our good in Him. In the midst of this season of hard things, I am grateful for the grace of God evidenced in simple things, like:

• Our marriage that is real. That we've learned the truth that we're not wrestling flesh and blood- we're not each other's enemies. If we didn't truly KNOW that truth, we'd not be holding through this season of our life. In fact, the bitterness of the trial has sweetened our love for each other.

• Clean, running water; food; clothing; health. Having read What is the What by Dave Eggers earlier this year, Radical by David Platt not that long ago, and almost finished with The Hole in the Gospel by Richard Stearns, President of World Vision, we are getting perspective. While our trial is very real, hard, and pressing on our hearts, I am overwhelmed with the reality of intense human suffering across the globe. No matter what happens with us here, if we are living in America, we are blessed just to have access to the simple essentials of life that we take for granted. And it's also put a burning in our hearts to sacrifice more. Do we really need the things we'd call "essential"?- if giving up Netflix will help us feed a family...I just can't really justify my "need" for movies on the spot when so many are dying every day of hunger. This is just an example. We so want to just hold loosely to all things, ready to give whatever up as the Spirit leads us for the sake of others who are desperately hurting.

• Family & friends who are praying, coming alongside, & just being there for us. We are blessed to have so many who are lifting us up, anxiously awaiting the Lord's answer to our prayers, some direction from Him, with us. It's so awesome, and humbling, to have the church body who is truly loving us through this season.

• Our children who are growing so! We just celebrated our little Brie's 2nd birthday! She's such a sweetheart, growing into quite her own person. She's definitely independent, our little climber who is just trying to keep up with her big sisters. How we pray she is one who is faithful to Christ.

In the midst of the waiting, as we are holding on to Christ as our hope, we are getting to see much of Him. Our hearts are full of joy. He is so good.

Pruning

This season of our lives is best described with the word "pruning." While we know that pruning is good, necessary, and ultimately, done in order for things to be better- it still hurts. Denying the pain does not make us godly. Pretending like we like it does not make it better. We are learning to surrender in the midst of the pain. We are being pruned of the many things we treasure more than Christ Himself. In the process, He becomes more and more glorious to us. Along with treasuring Him most, we are infused with a deeper desire of truly loving His body, of walking together through the hard things to get to the other side of unity.

We are thankful to the Lord that HE is our steady, unchanging Rock. Despite all around us, He never changes. He is always stable. He is good. He is worthy of our heart's affection.
Here are some things we are processing, really learning, and living out during this season:

• God is good. His purpose is always for His glory and our good. Romans 8:28
• We are desperate for Him. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. John 15:5
• As a couple, we have seen God bring us to the place of a very solid marriage in seeing that we are NOT each other's enemies- we do not fight flesh & blood. We fight a very real enemy, and want to use our energies to fight together against him by fighting together for and toward Christ. This applies to the church body as well. Ephesians 6:10-20
• Our joy is in Christ's presence, not things going "well" for us. Psalm 16
• God gives, God takes away, and His name is still to be praised! Job 1:21

There's more, but these are some of the main truths that are being fleshed out in and through us these days. They are hard. They are intense.
But we trust that in the end, they will be worth every moment. Not because God fixes it all for us. Not because the hard things we're enduring may come to an end in "good" as we think it. But because in the end, HE IS good regardless of if He chooses to fix it all or not.
We so desire God treasured in our hearts so that no matter what, He is glorified in and through us. And we are so thankful for the grace of His church body who has come alongside us in walking through these hard things, praying, and encouraging us with His word and reminders of who He is. Seems like many times, He brings someone along with refreshing just in time.
Please pray with us as we wait. We still don't know how this trial will turn out. But none the less, we are resolved to praise Him. Because He is worthy! Blessings.

Helping Haiti: Growing Empathy & Teaching our Children

With the whole earthquake that shook Haiti weeks ago, it also shook up our family in a much needed way. Living in America, we are pretty sheltered from the realities of life and the hurting around the world. Add to that, we don't have any cable or satellite tv, so we're not as aware of the news without purposing to find out. While we're not going to sign up for satellite now, we ARE praying for a purposeful awareness of the hurting around the world. These are human beings, with husbands and wives, babies, brothers and sisters, just like us, experiencing awful circumstances like extreme poverty, starvation, & death, while we are here literally stuffing our faces, & complaining about the weather. God, help us.

Not that we think we should ban ourselves from enjoying the pleasures God's given us. He's created these things for us to enjoy. But not to hoard. We're given much. Much is expected from us. God's given us so that we can give to others in Jesus' name. None of this is meant as a guilt trip or looking down at anyone. Just want to share our heart- what God's burdened us with, ideas He's given us to help, and maybe even for others to join with us in asking God to grow our empathy & teach our children to love much.

So, here are a few things we're doing that we'd love for you to take part in. Right now, directly to help Haiti, but we hope to keep doing things to help many others who are hurting. Please share your ideas, things you're doing, etc. that we may want to join in too!

1. "Chain of Love"- Bekah's crocheted chain necklaces & bracelets, & my mom crocheted hearts that we attached to hair clips, and we're selling them for $1 at Home Matters. All the money will go to Samaritan's Purse. Bekah's goal was $250 by the end of February. Right now, she's raised $205. This project came out of spending time during school learning about Haiti, asking questions to get her to think about if that happened here, and how we can help. She just learned how to crochet a chain & wanted to make them to sell in our store. How could Daddy say no? :)

2. Help for Haiti raffle tickets- buy a raffle ticket at Home Matters for a chance to win a $50 gift card to Home Matters. They're $1 per ticket, or 6 for $5. Wanting to use the business as a "platform" to help. All the money will go to Samaritan's Purse designated to Haiti.

3. After talking a lot about how little we can actually "DO" to help Haiti, we do not want to become discouraged in helping how we can. Praying about how to teach our kids the realities of the world in hunger issues and the realization that we have way more than most people in the world. That we even have an option of what food we might want for dinner is more than they have. Also aware of the very real financial pressures of lots of us, many do not have much "extra" to give. This is one way we can sacrifice in another area to help provide money to give towards helping Haiti. So, for the WEEK of March 1st-March 8th, our family will be eating oatmeal (or maybe you'll do cereal or pb&j) for dinner, to help us remember how many eat the same things over & over and are grateful just to have something to eat. Then, with the money we would usually have spent on our groceries for dinner, we will be giving to Samaritan's Purse to help Haiti. The time we save in not having to prep & make dinner, we'll use to look up more on Haiti and pray.

4. There is little we can physically do to help....but every little bit counts! If you can sew, you can help sew cloth diapers, dresses, & aprons for an orphanage in Haiti. So, get to sewing! Check out this link for more info on what they need & where to send it. We may even try to do a ladies night to get together to do this.
http://haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/sewing-projects/

These are a few things God's given our family to be a small part of helping the hurting in Haiti, growing our empathy for those who are hurting, and teaching our children to be a part of relieving the hurting-in HIS name. Please join us- and share with us!

The Blind Side-Seeing More Clearly

So, about a week or so ago, Gary and I finally got to go see The Blind Side, starring Sandra Bullock, about a true story of a wealthy christian couple that take in and eventually adopt a black teen. We'd been wanting to see that ever since we'd heard about the story line, but hadn't been able to til now- you know, new baby and all. We HIGHLY recommend the movie. We'll be buying it for our movie collection- definitely a keeper.
Of course, we love the whole idea of adoption, having a heart for that ourselves. Lord willing, one day we will adopt a child or two of our own. And we really related to the inner city stuff portrayed in the movie too, having had worked with the youth at the Mission in Houston. As we watched it, we were both flooded with memories and lots of emotions- and a very real longing to get back into ministry. We LOVE working with youth. When we got home from the movie, we talked for close to 3 hours, reminiscing, talking about different youth, camps, mission trips, events. It was a great time for us together.
More than it just being a big emotional time of being able to relate and all that, the movie portrayed the family in a way that really opened our eyes to some things more clearly. Got us thinking. Praying. Desiring to be more like that family- well, really, more like Christ.
1. Love that the family was rich. Not just cause we like rich. HA. No, but to see that there is a family that is well off and actually using their wealth to help others instead of hoarding and "getting" more for themselves. There's just a lot of preconceived ideas about people with money in christian circles, which I admit I once had, that are just wrong. I love seeing a family that is actually doing what God intended with what He gave them.
2. The family is white....oops...Caucasian...whatever! Not just upper class, but white too. They didn't use excuses like "we can't relate" or all the typical things we've heard in the list of reasons why people can't give of themselves to people different than themselves. They were able to just BE themselves and live life with Christ's love living through them.
3.The family is by no means perfect, but they are a family. Love the realness. And the unity. When wanting to make it all "official", they sat down as a family. Kids included. Their two natural children were just as much a part and just as eager for the official adoption and making Mike a part of the family. Because they had watched their parents give as a part of their life, this was not something strange, to give to a stranger. They wanted to take part too. And the parents were careful to be sensitive to and help their natural children through the process. Love that.
4. The wife was...what's a good word...fiesty. Her personality is strong. But she was still under her husband. He's the strong gentle type. She asked him and would check with him. It wasn't that it was all her. He was most definitely the leader. I love that she was free to be herself, have her more outward personality. I need to see that displayed- I am like that, and often struggle with the perception of me taking the lead just cause I am more outward and Gary's quieter, even though he's most definitely the leader. Leading doesn't mean always being seen or heard, and following doesn't mean always being in the dark.
5. The wife's "society friends" were so clueless. Very sincere. Wanting to be helpful. Be very, very ignorant. Not bad to just "not know"- it's reality. I am that way in a lot of areas. But hope to be teachable, and ready to change. They still supported her.
6. The HUGE one for me- they did not seek out to adopt. They were not "PURPOSING" to go out and help this boy. They were just living life- and I believe, a Spirit filled one, that allowed them to see and be aware of needs. Then, when they saw a need, they were a part of filling it. They saw that he needed a place to stay and offered him their place, which lead to the next need of realizing he had no other clothes and they got him clothes, which lead to him staying for the holiday, which lead to him living there, which lead to him being adopted. This family was not seeking out a poor, minority kid to try and help out...they weren't doing a good deed. They weren't trying hard to live a christian life. They just lived. As they went about life, they saw needs, and filled them, which led to more needs that they filled, etc, etc. We SO want to be that way. We don't want to just live every moment purposing to do this and do that, patting ourselves on the back for the good deed we did, the christian thing...who is that for, anyway? That's for me. We want to live a life well lived- one by the Spirit, being a part of the answer to the needs, to the prayers. It's not that we don't need to purpose to do things at times, as the Spirit leads. That's the whole point- purposing as HE leads, not just to go out and do so we can check it off the list or feel good about ourselves. We want to have love flowing out of us from the source of true love, God Himself. Not just purposed acts of love. Pure love.
God used this movie to help us see more clearly. Think a bit. Pray a LOT. Definitely not try harder. Just rely heavier. God, help us! Open our eyes, soften our hearts, and help us to be a part of life. Love through us.

January

Well, 2010 started out with a bang...or rather, a push and a cry?! HA. We rang in the New year birthing Kaleb, the first baby of the New year at OMC. Fun. We were in the paper and everything. That's fun for his baby book, and we were glad that Kaleb won't have to share New year's eve parties for his birthday and everyone has off for his birthday too!

Happy New Year 2010- Daddy, Mommy, & Kaleb

We also celebrated Mom's 5oth on the 14th of the month, with many family and friends sending her cards to be included in her "50th birthday box"- so cool, we got over 50 cards collected for her. So many people have been influenced by my momma, getting to see God in and through her during her 50 years. As her daughter, I am SO grateful God chose her to be my mom. She's my hero. I have learned much of God and what it means to follow him as a woman just by watching her life. So many things...treasuring Christ as my greatest joy, knowing God is worthy of all praise in the midst of suffering and pain, loving others unconditionally, hurting with those who are hurting, rejoicing with others who are rejoicing, sharing all of life- home, food, money, heart and soul, everything- with everyone and anyone that God puts in your path, loving your family well, especially your husband, praying ferverently, living by the Spirit...oh my, so much! All these things are things that she didn't just formally teach me in words, but I have watched her live consistently and faithfully in her life. I grew to know Christ and continue in Him, because of watching her love of Him. I am grateful for the work of God in her life, the manifestation of His Spirit through her, that points me to Him. I so hope to be as faithful a woman in Christ as she.
I love my momma so!

My beautiful Mom on her 50th, about to open her "50th birthday box"
(I hope I look that good when I turn 50! She's so gorgeous!)

One of the things my mom has shown me is to be aware of others pain and to do whatever I can to help alleviate that. Around Mom's birthday, the earthquake in Haiti happened, devestating an already hurting country. For her 50th, she and Dad went and got their passports and started the process of being prepared to be able to go wherever to help when disaster strikes. That was an awesome way for her to celebrate. As we prayed about how we as a family could help the suffering in Haiti, we wanted to make our kids aware of their hurt and that they are not too young to help. Of course, in things like this, we have to be age appropriate too. During school time, Bekah and I talked about Haiti, took out the globe, looked things up on the internet, and talked about what had happened. We looked at pictures and talked through what it would be like if that happened here- how would she feel? what kind of things would we need? what were the consequences of something that huge? And then finally, how can we help? We read a lot of Samaritan's Purse information on how they are helping, since we're connected with that organization through the OCC boxes every Christmas time. Bekah then said she'd like to go to work with Daddy and give money to them. She then got all excited and said she could make necklaces. She just learned to crochet a chain and then made it into a necklace when JaJa and Tina came through in early January. She said she wanted to make them and then ask Daddy if she could put them in the store to sell them and give the money to Haiti. Of course, Daddy said yes and we made a poster with info on it to put with the necklaces. As of today, about 2 weeks of starting, she's raised $144 and has other orders to fill yet. It is so exciting for us as her parents to see her beginning to get excited over being able to do something herself to help. It's also been so great in teaching her perseverance and follow through when she's getting tired. Her initial goal was to make 10 necklaces a day for the first week, which she reached. We're calling it the "Chain of Love" and now it's expanding in a sense- she's now making necklaces, bracelets, and Gammy and I joined in to make crochet heart hair clips. All of these are selling for $1 and the money will go to Samaritan's Purse for Haiti. Let us know if you'd like some!

Bekah with her poster & "Chain of Love" necklaces at Home Matters

We've enjoyed most of this month at home, being that we have a newborn and it's super, super cold. We're adjusting to having a family of SEVEN, with us and all five of our children. I know that it is ONLY by God's grace that we can do this well. The demands of raising them well is too much for us- and is a grace of God to push us to Him. I am thankful that these precious children point us to our need for Him. We are figuring out the day to day things, how we need to plan our day in order to get everything done and enjoy it to the fullest. I am sure we'll have lots and lots of stories to tell!

Since we've been home avoiding the crowds with new baby, we've also skipped out on church on Sundays. Instead we've had worship at home, singing along with some worship dvds- Shout Kids praise and Hillsong kids- and then watching a sermon dvd from the PassionTalk series, with Louie Giglio preaching. It's been so encouraging to us, refreshing. We are so grateful for the faithful in Christ who love God and love people for His glory. We so desire to be a family that loves others as our overflow of love for God. Make us faithful, Lord. We want to be one of those "fruitcakes" that makes a difference! :) Until next time...

Kaleb James

Kaleb James Hirsch
January 1st, 2010, 12:02am,
8 lbs. 0 oz, 20 1/4 inches




Daddy, Mommy & Kaleb, ringing in the New Year!



The big sisters checking out their new baby brother

Our sweet Kaleb James arrived on January 1st, 2010 at 12:02 am! He was the first baby of the New Year here. He weighed 8 lbs. exactly, 20 1/4 inches long. He's got a full head of thick dark hair. And he's handsome just like Daddy!
The labor was...labor. :) Slow going in the beginning, but fast once the doctor broke my water at 9:00pm. I was 6 cm then, and it only took 3 hours til we were holding him! All in all, it was another "easy" labor. Had lots of fun hanging out and passing the time before birthing him, and again, thanks to the chiropractor, had hardly any time at all pushing- a grand total of 3 minutes this time!
I am feeling great...recovering slowly and adjusting to life with 5 children. Kaleb is adjusting wonderfully, taking on to nursing well and is figuring out his days from nights. We even have had some 4 hour stretches in the night, which make a huge difference for Mommy! Gary has been home most of the time, which allows me to just care for Kaleb. That is one huge plus of being a business owner! I am so thankful for my sweet husband, who has been so thoughtful and caring for me during this time.
We have been talking a lot about life and where God has us right now. Of course, it's like God to be "up to something" again- looks like there's more He's got planned for us and we're in the middle of more changes and things. More on that later...but as Gary and I have talked and processed where we are in life, we are so thankful. So glad to have each other, and be blessed with the family He's given us. We've talked a lot about raising our children and ways to help each of them in their own personalities see God. It's so wild that each of our children are so very different. And we want to nurture those differences, pointing them to Christ. We definitely need wisdom as we do that. So please pray with us as we seek Him to raise this precious "quiver" of children He's entrusted to us!

Kaleb, the 1st baby of 2010 at OMC with his "goodies"

The Hirsch Gang- all SEVEN of us!

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Ringing in the New Year

So! Have not done any better keeping up with the blog...many transitions...but now settled into our "new" place, and hopefully establishing our new "normal." Whatever normal is, anyway. Facebook really has taken my time more than the blogging...but, hope to get better with it with the new year.
Thanksgiving came, right after we moved into our new place, along with everyone in our family getting the flu. It was a rough transition. Thankfully we moved in slowly and were able to get things settled in. Our first night here, Bethany started sick, then it went through each of us one day apart up to Thanksgiving day. And not only that, but spread to my extended family and their friends who came home with them too...out of 14 of us, 12 of us had it. Thankfully, it was only a quick bug and was done in about 8 hours tops. There really were some bonding experiences over it. Lots of opportunities to serve each other during the sickness. And a great reminder to be thankful for our health. It was one Thanksgiving we won't forget for sure!
Christmas was so fun, with the 4 girls. And I'm grateful we were able to really enjoy and celebrate together without being in the hospital having baby. It was a "quieter" Christmas, in that it was only our family on Christmas day. That's never happened before- we always have other people to share the celebration with. It was different, but we all agreed very timely, as this could very well have been our last Christmas all together...there's a great possibility of my brother and his girlfriend getting married soon, and most likely, they'll spend Christmas with her family. So it was a sweet time with just us. Of course, the weeks leading up to Christmas are full of parties, activities, and preparing for Christmas- baking, crafting, wrapping. This year I was preparing way in advance, just in case baby came early. I'm so glad I did! It helped things go much smoother and me be able to enjoy all the preparations. As we read through the Christmas Scriptures in the couple weeks before for our devos, it was fun to be pregnant and imagine being Mary going through all of that. Watching "The Nativity Story" really makes it real too- can not imagine walking/riding on a donkey for over 100 miles, ready to give birth! No wonder she had Jesus when they got to Bethlehem- all that walking! Anyway, it was neat for me to be able to really "feel" and imagine Mary's position as a full term pregnant woman. I think this year was just rich in celebrating all the way around. The gifts were all so thoughtful- Gary especially went all out, and with every package I opened, had a coordinating envelope with the gift that had Scripture and the reason for the gift, to help point me to Jesus. That made each thing more special than just the gift itself. Bekah made cards for each of us, and that was so sweet, giving what she could, making something for us from the heart. She was also eager to help in getting everything ready and excited to be a part of all the surprises. It was so fun!
Now we're getting ready for baby. Here I am, the eve of birthing him, trying to catch up! :) I've been contracting well for a while now, but especially these last few days. I keep thinking maybe this is it...and then they'll slow down a bit. I do know that by January 1st, we will have baby Kaleb James to hold and cuddle! To see the light at the end of the tunnel has made it more bearable. We still cannot believe that there will actually be another little Hirsch baby...and that this one is a BOY. Though it's not really become real for us- probably not til we get to actually SEE him- the reality of raising a boy is sinking in. The difference in how to point him to Christ, how to challenge him to lead (the girls we challenge to lead by being the first to submit!)...he will have to be challenge to take risks, walking in faith. It will be different in seeking the Lord for what it means to parent a boy...channeling his aggression, passion to conquer, etc, for God's glory and not just his self satisfaction. All of it has got us thinking and praying. Praying for more wisdom...for our girls, for this new little boy.
All in all- what a way to end the year! 2009 was a good one! Full of change and lots of excitement yet again. More seeking the Lord and just doing the next thing He leads us in. And now, we'll start 2010 in the same position. Ready to hear, humbled before Him to see what things He has in store. He's so good! Have a Happy New Year! Promise...pictures and post coming soon! :)

Long Time, No Blog...

Oh my, are we behind, or what?! ...okay, life with 4 children and one on the way has made blogging a bit hard...even for a journaler like me. Facebook has stolen the time...if I have a minute, it's a LOT easier to catch up on fb than on here! BUT...I still want to document certain things, and I know some of you have mentioned my lack of writing, trying to catch up on what is going on here with us...SO, here it is!
We celebrated our 8th anniversary on May 5th. I am so blessed. I am more in love with my man every day. It's just starting to get good!...I turned 30 on May 10th, and that was "monumental". Or not. Really, didn't feel much change except that I have to remember to say "30" now when asked how old I am. I remember thinking that was really old when I was younger. I am SO NOT old!...we have celebrated Bekah's 7th birthday on May 21st, Belle's 3rd birthday on June 6th, Bethany's 2nd birthday on August 16th...found out that this next baby is a BOY...and will be celebrating Brie's 1st birthday next week, October 29th.
We've also had some MAJOR ups and downs...just life. You know what I'm sayin'...I mean, just cause I'm totally in love with my man doesn't mean it's always pretty. Yes, we're committed. But yes, we're also very human. So, we've gotten to see God be God and do some major work in our hearts through times of high stress with our family, businesses, church life, and the like. It's life. I am grateful that I am freed to feel. Feel the pain and the hurt and the everything...and know it WILL be okay in the end. It's so wonderful. Thing is, I get to feel the joy so much deeper too. God is so good!
We have started some major changes with our businesses, Kosh Wholesale and Home Matters...lots of internal changes and just better managing...with the help of our friend Casey. Praise God for those who can be outside of the situation to help guide us that feel overwhelmed at the moment. It's exciting stuff that's being implemented. Now have a website...check it out! Koshwholesale.com
Oh yeah...and we've moved...again. Our friends whose house we were staying in came home from Australia and we packed up and moved out, stayed with my parents a little while getting their house ready for them, and now living with friends of ours for about a month before our rental comes available. Yes, we're crazy. But you see, God's provided. So we can be out here where so much of our life is and be able to be close by. Someone's come and expressed interested in our house in Thayer, so praying it will work out. We'll see. God always works it all out in the end anyway. We're just trusting Him moment by moment. Do what He says to do for now. Then now will turn to then. We don't have to worry about it. (I know, sometimes way easier said then done. That's why I've asked God to increase my faith in Him too. Maybe THAT'S why we're in this season of our life!)
So, the Hirsch family is once again, busy. Busy and crazy. What' s new? Like I had to update the blog for you to know that! I guess not that much has changed...LOL! God is good! Glad to catch up a bit.

Happy Anniversary! Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Today is Gary and my 8th anniversary! He's giving me the afternoon to go take Melissa for her promised birthday mani/pedi (from last year!) and then we're out to dinner at El Charros. We always do Mexican food, since it's cinco de Mayo...and we'll sport our t shirts from Lis that she gave us for our wedding day like we've done every year so far.  :)

Eight years...baby, it hasn't slowed down either! Mercy! I am SO thankful for our marriage and how I get to grow and see God through it. It's been a wild eight years, with lots and LOTS of ups and downs...I'm so glad I get to do this life with you. Thank you Lord, for a man who doesn't complete me, but points me to You, who does! God is good!

Reflections on Easter

Happy Easter from the Hirsch family!

It may be a little late, but...I guess, better than never?! Well, the weather on Easter was cold and yucky, so our family picture was taken indoors- but our celebration was warm.

Well, not at first...you see, we had big thoughts on preparing the family to celebrate what we consider the biggest holiday as a christian. Christmas, when we celebrate Christ's birth, and Easter, when we celebrate Christ's death and then resurrection from the dead, are the two biggest holidays for our family. While Christmas is a celebration of God sending His son to Earth, Easter is the celebration of His purpose fulfilled on Earth- to die on the cross and raise again to have victory over sin and death and thus saving His people, the Church, for Himself. Easter is SO exciting! And yet, we failed.

Here's how. And how, as a wife, God worked me through my husband's failure to lead us as a family  in really focusing on the meaning of Easter. Usually we'll do some sort of preparations towards Easter to get our minds and hearts set on why we're celebrating- reading through the Piper book, 50 Reasons..., reading through the gospel accounts during family worship, some activities like Resurrection eggs or making something together. I was waiting on Gary to lead us in what he thought best for our family. One of my biggest fears is if I don't do it, it won't get done. God's teaching me that sometimes, because I'll react in fear and make sure it gets done, my hubs doesn't have to- or think he doesn't need to- or whatever. Now, hear me. Gary is a WAY godly leader, wonderful husband, and is faithful to lead us. But he is human. So...Easter came quickly and nothing except our daily readings were planned. We talked about doing a couple things with the kids in prep for helping them to grasp why we celebrate Easter, as best as they can at a young age. After I'd suggested a few things, I waited. And the waiting turned to Easter morning...and I was way disappointed. Now, we usually do gifts for Easter, since it is big like Christmas. So, we had gifts like a worship dvd, journal, some outfits. Problem is, without them being taught why we're celebrating, Easter becomes about the gifts they get. I'm all for Easter baskets and things, as long as it's an overflow of joy in why we truly celebrate. If that's left out, all the kids remember or begin to think is that Easter is about chocolate and jelly beans. So I was hurt. Disappointed. 

This time, though, I went to God. Many times I get mad in my hurt. Want to hurt back...you know, I've journaled on it here before. Thankfully, this time, Grace brought me to remember that Easter is about victory over sin and death, and to surrender my hurt to Him so that I can share in that victory, to not let it ruin the celebration. I can celebrate through the hurt. And so, there we were. I prayed quietly to the Lord as we went to join my parents at their church...and oh man, were we blessed. An awesome time of worship for us as we were reminded of why we celebrate- while surrounded by many people God's used very specifically in our family. God blessed us to have Dave and Amy here with us for 5 days, including Easter. Amy and I grew up together, and used her and another friend Tammy to deal with some specific sins that eventually caused my heart to turn back to Him. So we had them on one side, my family on the other, and surrounded by friends like the Igos, Scisms, Zellars...all of whom God's used in specific ways in our life. It was a joyful celebration, even in the midst of my hurt.

 

Dave and Amy

We enjoyed a big dinner and hanging out time that day. Later on in the evening, I was able to express my disappointments with Gary without anger, who was also feeling the same way. My words were- okay, so I was really hurt, because...and I need you to listen to me and believe me that I'm hurt. Just cause I'm not freaking out, doesn't mean I'm not hurt. It means God is having victory right now. So please hear me so I don't have to yell. :)  Really, there was some seriousness to that, but I know I choose to yell...

Anyway, so after talking through it, and forgiveness had, I was reading in Luke 24. I was totally encouraged by the story of the women going to the tomb to prepare Christ's body to find angels and the body gone. The one angel tells them to go tell the men...and when they do, the men basically tell them they're idle and don't believe them. My version- stupid women, you're crazy. But Peter went and ran to the tomb to see for himself. I was struck with the reality that it isn't bad that they didn't believe the women right away. It was wrong that they didn't go check it out for themselves after they'd heard. I realized I'm married to a Peter. He listens and goes back to check it out himself. Then he marvels with me. That's the sign of the Spirit. The other men who didn't go back and check it out for themselves could've been spared much depression, sadness, etc...over Christ not being the Messiah they though he was if they'd gone to see for themselves. BUT...the rest of the chapter is on Jesus going and revealing to the two on the road to Emmaus and then to all the disciples for Himself. So, they saw that the women were speaking the truth eventually. They just missed out in the meantime. 

All this has regrounded my trust in God. My biggest fear is being misunderstood. Even as I write this, I think, maybe I shouldn't, cause someone's gonna take it the wrong way or not understand what I'm saying. But I'm supposed to share what God shows me! I don't have to make things happen or get people to believe me or try to not be misunderstood. I just need to walk in obedience. Sometimes that means sharing what I've seen of God. And God will show who He wills to see it eventually too. My trust is in Him. Personally, for me, that's mainly with my hubs. God revealed the unfolding of His plans first to the women in this passage. Even though the men are the leaders. The women were to help point the men to the truth. The men didn't believe. The women didn't have to make them believe, just share. I am beyond grateful for a husband who is filled with the Spirit and runs to see for Himself. Who is humble and will allow me to help him. And for a God that changes my heart that naturally wants to take the lead to follow.

Praise God, He is Good!  And hopefully, next year, we'll be ready to get prepared to celebrate BEFORE Easter's here! Even if not, He is gracious!

Party at the Park and field trips...

April has been loaded with lots of activity already. The warmer weather has been a welcome change to get out of the house. We enjoyed another friend's birthday party, this time at the park...it's always interesting for me to go somewhere by myself with all 4 girls. Thankfully, most all our friends are more than helpful.

Enjoying the park with friends.

We also got to go on a couple field trips, which are more frequent as the days grow warmer here and we're able to get out and about. Our home school co-op got to go on a nature hike at a nearby conservation. It was a long 1 1/2 hour hike, but all did very well. It was nice to be out enjoying God's creation and actually have someone there to point out different flowers and such that we may otherwise overlook. God truly made all things amazingly, pointing to His glory as Creator. We were even careful not to "kill the parents" as our guide said concerning not stepping on the plants. lol.

Our home school co-op group at the conservation...minus three other families that joined us that day

Bekah has read the first two of the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House in the Big Woods and Farmer Boy. She's in the middle of the third one now, Little House on the Prairie. We were able to go visit Laura's house in Mansfield, which is only about an hour from us, while Dave and Amy were here visiting. It was fun, and way more interesting than I'd thought it'd be. Bekah enjoyed seeing Pa's fiddle, which they annually take out and play at a festival. I was going to have her just read the first 3 books herself to expose her to the stories, but after visiting Laura's home, Bekah said she'd really like to read all of the series, which is fine with me! That same day we also went to Bakersville, a little old time village set up that is home to Baker Creek Seed Company, which sells seeds that have no GMOs, and are all heirloom seeds. After having done a 4 week gardening seminar, this was a cool place to visit. Really amazing, how many seeds they have- they had over 190 varieties of just tomatoes! Isn't God amazing?! 

The girls in their bonnets, enjoying the Little House

The amazing Baker Creek Seed Store- all those little bins hold packets of seeds

We also hit Silver Dollar City again, this time with Poppy, Gammy, and ChiChi. It was World fest time, and worked out perfectly with the geography we've been doing. It's a stretch at times to find some cultural things here where we live, so this was a welcomed event to expose the kids to other cultures, even if limited. We got to see a steel drum band from Trinidad- awesome!- and the Irish feet of fire dancers- pretty amazing. We all ate different foods from other countries and got to see a ton of flags and such. It was a fun, beautiful day of learning in a non-book form- welcomed any time!

We are in fact, part Irish- I am half Irish, half Korean, which makes our girls a 1/4 of each. 

You should see OUR Irish feet of fire! lol!

On the big 'ole rocking chair

This is a kid's roller coaster, with Poppy in the front, all by himself. haha. Bekah chickened out last minute and ran back out. Belle enjoyed the roller coaster with Daddy in the third cart. After riding a bunch of different rides for the first time, Belle said- Rides crazy! They're fun! Guess you know who will be our thrill seeker!

ChiChi was a good sport and was Bekah's riding buddy a lot.

All the family enjoyed a full day at SDC Worldfest!

March Madness

A little behind on posts, but here's some of the Hirsch March madness. We enjoyed the start of spring with a few different Spring Breaks-

First Spring break was when Tiffany, Taylor, and Daniel came to see us. It was cold, nasty weather, but we were able to go to the library together and hang out at different times through the week:

Then, the next week, Jonathan and Christina came to visit, and it was beautiful. We hit the park and got to hang out for a few days:

Then we had our family Spring break mini vacation for the weekend. We went to Silver Dollar City- it was cold, but we had fun. Then we went to Springfield to shop and hang out with the Wallaces. We got to go to Jump Mania for the first time. It was so fun! 

1,2,3,4...Packed up and ready to go in the van.

Silver Dollar City, Daddy gathering the herd at the farm.  

It may have been cold, but Bekah was so looking forward to the frozen strawberry/lemonade!

The girls enjoyed the hotel just as much as anything else!

Bethany and Jude at Jump Mania.

Belle's face was priceless- she had that panic look every time she went down the slide...for like an hour!

The June girls, Haven and Belle. They're only a few days apart.

Bekah enjoyed the slide too!

Bekah and Jadon enjoying Jump Mania!

We also enjoyed celebrating Natalie's birthday with the chaos of friends at her butterfly surprise party, and the Nielsen's adoption with a baby shower. A few pics:

Natalie's birthday crowd

Baby Rachel!

I made the diaper cake...Leigh Ann made the pretty flower ball.

Lots of activity and celebrations in March...we've been busy! God's been good. The newness of Spring has often called to mind the newness of life in Christ. Feels like a reason to celebrate! More posts to come very soon!