Grace, Joy, Hope, Faith... plus one!

Helping Haiti

2012-01-11T23:19:00.002-06:00

We're here again. It's January 2012!

It will mark 2 years since the major earthquake that devastated Haiti & wrecked our family's heart- in a good way. God used that to wake us up to the reality of so many who are hurting around the world. In response to that, we felt a huge burden to DO SOMETHING. But what? What can a family who has limited resources (or so we think- us Americans are way spoiled & need a redefining of that...that's like a whole new post...or 10...) But really, what CAN a family do? It's not like we can fly to Haiti & literally help. We're just not a place to do that. What can we as parents of young children do to help our kids see people in need & respond? We felt burdened that our kids care...that they don't get used to seeing others hurting & just walk away, but that they would feel for them & do what they can, make some sacrifices, & help relieve the pain, be a part of the healing. In the name of Jesus.

So, we asked God. What can we do, Lord? And this is what He gave us:

For one week, as a family, we will eat oatmeal for dinner. This will help our family get a very small taste (literally) of what it is like to have the same thing for a meal repeatedly- much like many refugees. It will help to build a gratefulness for the reality of how fortunate we really are- that we even have a choice of something to eat for dinner is more than what most of the world today has. The money we would have spent on the groceries for the week of dinners, instead, will be given to Samaritan's Purse's Haiti Project, to help in relief projects. The time that would have normally been spent on prepping dinner, will be spent on looking together online at pictures, articles & video of Haiti, the people, the needs, & how they are being helped, & then time spent praying together for them.

We did this in 2010 after the earthquake, & have felt compelled to continue it every January, to help us remember, as well as to help in the rebuilding of Haiti.

We invite you to join us! We'll be doing our oatmeal dinners for the week of January 15th-21st, but do it whenever you can. Maybe you'll do a different meal like pb&j, or rice, or whatever- the point is not in what you decide to eat, but that it will be a minimal sacrifice for your family to enable you to give to those who truly are suffering.

Let's make a difference- in our own family, & in the lives of the suffering in Haiti & beyond- for the glory of His name!

Looking back on 2011

2012-01-11T16:23:00.002-06:00

It has been such a long time in posting! This is our Christmas letter, a look back on 2011 & what God did in our hearts as a family. It is good to see God do the impossible & mold our hearts to His.

Luke 1:37-38 “For nothing will be impossible with God.

And Mary said, ‘ Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word…”

The year 2011 in the Hirsch home has been full of testimony of the truth that “nothing will be impossible with God”.

As Mary received this word from the angel, we ourselves have heard this truth from the Lord and sought to respond as Mary, “I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word…” With His strength, we have fought hard to keep our hearts in a place of surrender & willingness to go through whatever He wills. Though at times the pressure of His forming has seemed too much to bear, He has been faithful to keep us, grow us, & always do as He promises. Our hearts are full as we reflect on His goodness to us this past year, preparing to celebrate Christmas & looking forward to the New Year.

As the year began, we knew that the business, Kosh Wholesale, was no longer in God’s plan as provision for our family. Though we’d worked hard for many months to make adjustments & keep it open, it was time to close down. Of course, it is a scary thing as a business owner, losing your business, your means of income. It was so sad to have to let our employees go, as they have been much like an extended family to us. The entire situation was heart wrenching, & confusing, as we questioned what God was doing.

In February we were faced with the reality of no income for our family of 7 – how would the bills get paid, our basic needs met? So many things involved losing the business, including the very real possibility of losing our house, vehicles, & possessions as well. The season of the “unknown” was a time of intense pruning & surrender to whatever He willed. Would we be willing to go through whatever He wanted us to, at whatever cost to us, in order for us to see Christ as most treasured? Impossible on our own, we are thankful for His work in our hearts to lay it down at His feet. God proved His faithfulness to us through many of you, our family & friends, to be there for us in encouragement, prayer, & continued support.

Just as we needed it, friends of ours who have a ministry to provide “retreats” to families sent us away, expenses paid, to Branson, for a Focus on the Family Couples getaway called “A Weekend to Remember”. It was a rich time for us to be alone, be refreshed, & strengthen our marriage. Just a month later, we were invited to an all expenses paid young leader’s retreat where we were able to spend time with dear friends, including some we hadn’t seen in years. Talk about God providing the impossible! Both of those weekends were cherished times for us in such a stressful season.

In May, we celebrated our 10-year anniversary weekend with a family trip to Houston, TX, surprising Lynette’s sister Tiffany on her engagement. What we thought would be an impossible trip, God again provided for us, to be able to be there to celebrate Ryan & Tiffany’s engagement, & our anniversary. It was so fun to be in the very place that we met, got engaged, married, & spent our newlywed days. We even had a full day in Houston to ourselves to go to our “special” places, including time praying at the altar in the worship center of Houston’s First Baptist church where we said our vows.

In June we traveled to Kansas City, MO for Lynette’s brother Jonathan & Christina’s wedding. God again made the impossible, possible, by providing for every last detail. It was such a fun wedding & we experienced such a sense of community & love from their friends.

We again traveled to Kansas City in July to take our first family mission trip as a part of Global Encounter’s Project.

It was such a meaningful time for us, as Gary had been part of their first mission trip to Houston, TX, 20 years ago- it was that trip that kept him coming back year after year & eventually led to his move & youth ministry position. Both Gary & Lynette served at the Houston Projects while single, so it was especially meaningful to be the co-site coordinators with our friends, bringing our entire families! While there, God crossed our path with a group of youth from Thayer!

It was such a rich time connecting with them. We saw God at work & committed to be praying for them all- we still are! In that time, we thought perhaps God was leading us to serve in a ministry position there; however, God providentially closed that door as well.

We experienced much heartache in situations where our name had been misrepresented & things not handled correctly. In an already hard season, it was more than we could emotionally bear, & we struggled through, feeling it impossible to forgive those who wronged us so deeply. Again, God does the impossible & our hearts are grateful for the opportunity to grow through the hurt.

We traveled back to Houston, TX for Lynette’s sister Tiffany & Ryan’s wedding in November. The week was full of wedding parties, preparations & such- a blessed time! While there, all 7 of us experienced some sort of food poisoning sickness & throughout the week struggled through. It was so bittersweet, as it was a joyous time for our family but heartbreaking to think that we may miss the wedding! Our strength completely gone, we knew it was impossible for us to keep going. Cleaning up after everyone, staying in someone else’s home, an intense schedule- it was over the top! God again proved His faithfulness to us in providing strength, & restoring us just enough to join in on the celebrations.

We were so thankful!

This entire year has been one testimony after another of God’s faithfulness to provide for us. Many- too many to mention- family, friends, church body, have given to us in numerous ways. Many have blessed us financially to help pay for bills, offered help with childcare, brought us groceries…it has been amazing to watch. We have watched God provide as we have sought to start our new business, “His Heritage Merchant Supply”, the flower route that we had established a few years ago in conjunction with Kosh Wholesale. The hope is for it to grow enough to be able to support us fully. Gary has also been blessed to work with a friend who works construction on occasion, where he is also learning many new skills. Lynette’s handmade business, “The Work of Her Hand” has started to grow as well.

While we are still members of First Baptist Church in West Plains, Gary was asked in August to preach regularly at Chapel Hill Baptist Church here in Thayer. It has been a blessing for Gary to use his gifts, and refreshing for Lynette to hear him preaching again. Many of our West Plains friends have joined us for the service at times- the support is so appreciated. We are praying on what God’s will is for the future concerning our serving there more fully. We have stayed connected to our Tuesday night men’s & women’s Bible study (switching each week) & that group has become our small group of sorts, “doing life” with each other, true friends who speak truth in love & challenge us, pray with us, & cry with us as well.

At times we have been so exhausted & just spent. While the trials continue, we are trusting God to use them to serve their purpose in us. We pray that means we will treasure Him more than anything else & love others deeply as a result.

We remind ourselves that while it has been hard, we have so much to be thankful for! While we may have financial instability, our marriage is stronger than ever- we continue to fight together to keep growing as one in Christ.

Our family is full of love & laughter as each of the children grows & makes life sweet.

Bekah is now 9 ½, in 4^th grade, home school, & such a thoughtful, helpful young lady. She loves to make things, & now enjoys selling them too. J She is so very helpful with all her siblings & loves on them like a little mommy. Belle is our sweet social butterfly, now 5 years old & in kindergarten. She is a girly girl & loves all things princess & pink. She looks up to her big sister so much that often she just says- I want what Bekah wants. Bethany (Nini) is our little 4 yr old monkey, enjoying preschool at home. She still loves all things monkey & is just a carefree, her own little self. Brie turned 3 in October, & is our expressive, dynamic personality. She emphasizes everything & has so much expression, it’s too cute. Kaleb turns 2 on January 1^st & just tries to keep up! He loves his big sisters & is quickly learning how to survive in a household full of girls. He can spot a ball a mile away & loves to wrestle with Daddy.

So whatever impossibility you are facing, we pray that you will know the truth that “nothing is impossible with God” & respond accordingly with a heart that trusts Him & treasures Him- “let it be to me according to your word.” Whatever He wills, may we be surrendered to for His name’s sake. He truly is worthy. We love you all and pray for you!

Only by His Grace-

Gary, Lynette, Bekah, Belle, Bethany, Brie, & Kaleb

Holding on

2010-10-30T21:36:00.002-05:00

The Lord continues to be good, reminding us that He is good and His plans for us are for His glory and our good in Him. In the midst of this season of hard things, I am grateful for the grace of God evidenced in simple things, like:

Our marriage that is real. That we've learned the truth that we're not wrestling flesh and blood- we're not each other's enemies. If we didn't truly KNOW that truth, we'd not be holding through this season of our life. In fact, the bitterness of the trial has sweetened our love for each other.

Clean, running water; food; clothing; health. Having read What is the What by Dave Eggers earlier this year, Radical by David Platt not that long ago, and almost finished with The Hole in the Gospel by Richard Stearns, President of World Vision, we are getting perspective. While our trial is very real, hard, and pressing on our hearts, I am overwhelmed with the reality of intense human suffering across the globe. No matter what happens with us here, if we are living in America, we are blessed just to have access to the simple essentials of life that we take for granted. And it's also put a burning in our hearts to sacrifice more. Do we really need the things we'd call "essential"?- if giving up Netflix will help us feed a family...I just can't really justify my "need" for movies on the spot when so many are dying every day of hunger. This is just an example. We so want to just hold loosely to all things, ready to give whatever up as the Spirit leads us for the sake of others who are desperately hurting.

Family & friends who are praying, coming alongside, & just being there for us. We are blessed to have so many who are lifting us up, anxiously awaiting the Lord's answer to our prayers, some direction from Him, with us. It's so awesome, and humbling, to have the church body who is truly loving us through this season.

Our children who are growing so! We just celebrated our little Brie's 2nd birthday! She's such a sweetheart, growing into quite her own person. She's definitely independent, our little climber who is just trying to keep up with her big sisters. How we pray she is one who is faithful to Christ.

In the midst of the waiting, as we are holding on to Christ as our hope, we are getting to see much of Him. Our hearts are full of joy. He is so good.

Pruning

2010-08-24T16:19:00.003-05:00

This season of our lives is best described with the word "pruning." While we know that pruning is good, necessary, and ultimately, done in order for things to be better- it still hurts. Denying the pain does not make us godly. Pretending like we like it does not make it better. We are learning to surrender in the midst of the pain. We are being pruned of the many things we treasure more than Christ Himself. In the process, He becomes more and more glorious to us. Along with treasuring Him most, we are infused with a deeper desire of truly loving His body, of walking together through the hard things to get to the other side of unity.

We are thankful to the Lord that HE is our steady, unchanging Rock. Despite all around us, He never changes. He is always stable. He is good. He is worthy of our heart's affection.
Here are some things we are processing, really learning, and living out during this season:

God is good. His purpose is always for His glory and our good. Romans 8:28
We are desperate for Him. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. John 15:5
As a couple, we have seen God bring us to the place of a very solid marriage in seeing that we are NOT each other's enemies- we do not fight flesh & blood. We fight a very real enemy, and want to use our energies to fight together against him by fighting together for and toward Christ. This applies to the church body as well. Ephesians 6:10-20
Our joy is in Christ's presence, not things going "well" for us. Psalm 16
God gives, God takes away, and His name is still to be praised! Job 1:21

There's more, but these are some of the main truths that are being fleshed out in and through us these days. They are hard. They are intense.
But we trust that in the end, they will be worth every moment. Not because God fixes it all for us. Not because the hard things we're enduring may come to an end in "good" as we think it. But because in the end, HE IS good regardless of if He chooses to fix it all or not.
We so desire God treasured in our hearts so that no matter what, He is glorified in and through us. And we are so thankful for the grace of His church body who has come alongside us in walking through these hard things, praying, and encouraging us with His word and reminders of who He is. Seems like many times, He brings someone along with refreshing just in time.
Please pray with us as we wait. We still don't know how this trial will turn out. But none the less, we are resolved to praise Him. Because He is worthy! Blessings.

Helping Haiti: Growing Empathy & Teaching our Children

2010-02-19T17:19:00.001-06:00

With the whole earthquake that shook Haiti weeks ago, it also shook up our family in a much needed way. Living in America, we are pretty sheltered from the realities of life and the hurting around the world. Add to that, we don't have any cable or satellite tv, so we're not as aware of the news without purposing to find out. While we're not going to sign up for satellite now, we ARE praying for a purposeful awareness of the hurting around the world. These are human beings, with husbands and wives, babies, brothers and sisters, just like us, experiencing awful circumstances like extreme poverty, starvation, & death, while we are here literally stuffing our faces, & complaining about the weather. God, help us.

Not that we think we should ban ourselves from enjoying the pleasures God's given us. He's created these things for us to enjoy. But not to hoard. We're given much. Much is expected from us. God's given us so that we can give to others in Jesus' name. None of this is meant as a guilt trip or looking down at anyone. Just want to share our heart- what God's burdened us with, ideas He's given us to help, and maybe even for others to join with us in asking God to grow our empathy & teach our children to love much.

So, here are a few things we're doing that we'd love for you to take part in. Right now, directly to help Haiti, but we hope to keep doing things to help many others who are hurting. Please share your ideas, things you're doing, etc. that we may want to join in too!

1. "Chain of Love"- Bekah's crocheted chain necklaces & bracelets, & my mom crocheted hearts that we attached to hair clips, and we're selling them for $1 at Home Matters. All the money will go to Samaritan's Purse. Bekah's goal was $250 by the end of February. Right now, she's raised $205. This project came out of spending time during school learning about Haiti, asking questions to get her to think about if that happened here, and how we can help. She just learned how to crochet a chain & wanted to make them to sell in our store. How could Daddy say no? :)

2. Help for Haiti raffle tickets- buy a raffle ticket at Home Matters for a chance to win a $50 gift card to Home Matters. They're $1 per ticket, or 6 for $5. Wanting to use the business as a "platform" to help. All the money will go to Samaritan's Purse designated to Haiti.

3. After talking a lot about how little we can actually "DO" to help Haiti, we do not want to become discouraged in helping how we can. Praying about how to teach our kids the realities of the world in hunger issues and the realization that we have way more than most people in the world. That we even have an option of what food we might want for dinner is more than they have. Also aware of the very real financial pressures of lots of us, many do not have much "extra" to give. This is one way we can sacrifice in another area to help provide money to give towards helping Haiti. So, for the WEEK of March 1st-March 8th, our family will be eating oatmeal (or maybe you'll do cereal or pb&j) for dinner, to help us remember how many eat the same things over & over and are grateful just to have something to eat. Then, with the money we would usually have spent on our groceries for dinner, we will be giving to Samaritan's Purse to help Haiti. The time we save in not having to prep & make dinner, we'll use to look up more on Haiti and pray.

4. There is little we can physically do to help....but every little bit counts! If you can sew, you can help sew cloth diapers, dresses, & aprons for an orphanage in Haiti. So, get to sewing! Check out this link for more info on what they need & where to send it. We may even try to do a ladies night to get together to do this.
http://haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/sewing-projects/

These are a few things God's given our family to be a small part of helping the hurting in Haiti, growing our empathy for those who are hurting, and teaching our children to be a part of relieving the hurting-in HIS name. Please join us- and share with us!

The Blind Side-Seeing More Clearly

2010-02-13T15:09:00.004-06:00

So, about a week or so ago, Gary and I finally got to go see The Blind Side, starring Sandra Bullock, about a true story of a wealthy christian couple that take in and eventually adopt a black teen. We'd been wanting to see that ever since we'd heard about the story line, but hadn't been able to til now- you know, new baby and all. We HIGHLY recommend the movie. We'll be buying it for our movie collection- definitely a keeper.
Of course, we love the whole idea of adoption, having a heart for that ourselves. Lord willing, one day we will adopt a child or two of our own. And we really related to the inner city stuff portrayed in the movie too, having had worked with the youth at the Mission in Houston. As we watched it, we were both flooded with memories and lots of emotions- and a very real longing to get back into ministry. We LOVE working with youth. When we got home from the movie, we talked for close to 3 hours, reminiscing, talking about different youth, camps, mission trips, events. It was a great time for us together.
More than it just being a big emotional time of being able to relate and all that, the movie portrayed the family in a way that really opened our eyes to some things more clearly. Got us thinking. Praying. Desiring to be more like that family- well, really, more like Christ.
1. Love that the family was rich. Not just cause we like rich. HA. No, but to see that there is a family that is well off and actually using their wealth to help others instead of hoarding and "getting" more for themselves. There's just a lot of preconceived ideas about people with money in christian circles, which I admit I once had, that are just wrong. I love seeing a family that is actually doing what God intended with what He gave them.
2. The family is white....oops...Caucasian...whatever! Not just upper class, but white too. They didn't use excuses like "we can't relate" or all the typical things we've heard in the list of reasons why people can't give of themselves to people different than themselves. They were able to just BE themselves and live life with Christ's love living through them.
3.The family is by no means perfect, but they are a family. Love the realness. And the unity. When wanting to make it all "official", they sat down as a family. Kids included. Their two natural children were just as much a part and just as eager for the official adoption and making Mike a part of the family. Because they had watched their parents give as a part of their life, this was not something strange, to give to a stranger. They wanted to take part too. And the parents were careful to be sensitive to and help their natural children through the process. Love that.
4. The wife was...what's a good word...fiesty. Her personality is strong. But she was still under her husband. He's the strong gentle type. She asked him and would check with him. It wasn't that it was all her. He was most definitely the leader. I love that she was free to be herself, have her more outward personality. I need to see that displayed- I am like that, and often struggle with the perception of me taking the lead just cause I am more outward and Gary's quieter, even though he's most definitely the leader. Leading doesn't mean always being seen or heard, and following doesn't mean always being in the dark.
5. The wife's "society friends" were so clueless. Very sincere. Wanting to be helpful. Be very, very ignorant. Not bad to just "not know"- it's reality. I am that way in a lot of areas. But hope to be teachable, and ready to change. They still supported her.
6. The HUGE one for me- they did not seek out to adopt. They were not "PURPOSING" to go out and help this boy. They were just living life- and I believe, a Spirit filled one, that allowed them to see and be aware of needs. Then, when they saw a need, they were a part of filling it. They saw that he needed a place to stay and offered him their place, which lead to the next need of realizing he had no other clothes and they got him clothes, which lead to him staying for the holiday, which lead to him living there, which lead to him being adopted. This family was not seeking out a poor, minority kid to try and help out...they weren't doing a good deed. They weren't trying hard to live a christian life. They just lived. As they went about life, they saw needs, and filled them, which led to more needs that they filled, etc, etc. We SO want to be that way. We don't want to just live every moment purposing to do this and do that, patting ourselves on the back for the good deed we did, the christian thing...who is that for, anyway? That's for me. We want to live a life well lived- one by the Spirit, being a part of the answer to the needs, to the prayers. It's not that we don't need to purpose to do things at times, as the Spirit leads. That's the whole point- purposing as HE leads, not just to go out and do so we can check it off the list or feel good about ourselves. We want to have love flowing out of us from the source of true love, God Himself. Not just purposed acts of love. Pure love.
God used this movie to help us see more clearly. Think a bit. Pray a LOT. Definitely not try harder. Just rely heavier. God, help us! Open our eyes, soften our hearts, and help us to be a part of life. Love through us.

January

2010-01-29T16:53:00.004-06:00

Well, 2010 started out with a bang...or rather, a push and a cry?! HA. We rang in the New year birthing Kaleb, the first baby of the New year at OMC. Fun. We were in the paper and everything. That's fun for his baby book, and we were glad that Kaleb won't have to share New year's eve parties for his birthday and everyone has off for his birthday too!

Happy New Year 2010- Daddy, Mommy, & Kaleb

We also celebrated Mom's 5oth on the 14th of the month, with many family and friends sending her cards to be included in her "50th birthday box"- so cool, we got over 50 cards collected for her. So many people have been influenced by my momma, getting to see God in and through her during her 50 years. As her daughter, I am SO grateful God chose her to be my mom. She's my hero. I have learned much of God and what it means to follow him as a woman just by watching her life. So many things...treasuring Christ as my greatest joy, knowing God is worthy of all praise in the midst of suffering and pain, loving others unconditionally, hurting with those who are hurting, rejoicing with others who are rejoicing, sharing all of life- home, food, money, heart and soul, everything- with everyone and anyone that God puts in your path, loving your family well, especially your husband, praying ferverently, living by the Spirit...oh my, so much! All these things are things that she didn't just formally teach me in words, but I have watched her live consistently and faithfully in her life. I grew to know Christ and continue in Him, because of watching her love of Him. I am grateful for the work of God in her life, the manifestation of His Spirit through her, that points me to Him. I so hope to be as faithful a woman in Christ as she.
I love my momma so!

My beautiful Mom on her 50th, about to open her "50th birthday box"
(I hope I look that good when I turn 50! She's so gorgeous!)

One of the things my mom has shown me is to be aware of others pain and to do whatever I can to help alleviate that. Around Mom's birthday, the earthquake in Haiti happened, devestating an already hurting country. For her 50th, she and Dad went and got their passports and started the process of being prepared to be able to go wherever to help when disaster strikes. That was an awesome way for her to celebrate. As we prayed about how we as a family could help the suffering in Haiti, we wanted to make our kids aware of their hurt and that they are not too young to help. Of course, in things like this, we have to be age appropriate too. During school time, Bekah and I talked about Haiti, took out the globe, looked things up on the internet, and talked about what had happened. We looked at pictures and talked through what it would be like if that happened here- how would she feel? what kind of things would we need? what were the consequences of something that huge? And then finally, how can we help? We read a lot of Samaritan's Purse information on how they are helping, since we're connected with that organization through the OCC boxes every Christmas time. Bekah then said she'd like to go to work with Daddy and give money to them. She then got all excited and said she could make necklaces. She just learned to crochet a chain and then made it into a necklace when JaJa and Tina came through in early January. She said she wanted to make them and then ask Daddy if she could put them in the store to sell them and give the money to Haiti. Of course, Daddy said yes and we made a poster with info on it to put with the necklaces. As of today, about 2 weeks of starting, she's raised $144 and has other orders to fill yet. It is so exciting for us as her parents to see her beginning to get excited over being able to do something herself to help. It's also been so great in teaching her perseverance and follow through when she's getting tired. Her initial goal was to make 10 necklaces a day for the first week, which she reached. We're calling it the "Chain of Love" and now it's expanding in a sense- she's now making necklaces, bracelets, and Gammy and I joined in to make crochet heart hair clips. All of these are selling for $1 and the money will go to Samaritan's Purse for Haiti. Let us know if you'd like some!

Bekah with her poster & "Chain of Love" necklaces at Home Matters

We've enjoyed most of this month at home, being that we have a newborn and it's super, super cold. We're adjusting to having a family of SEVEN, with us and all five of our children. I know that it is ONLY by God's grace that we can do this well. The demands of raising them well is too much for us- and is a grace of God to push us to Him. I am thankful that these precious children point us to our need for Him. We are figuring out the day to day things, how we need to plan our day in order to get everything done and enjoy it to the fullest. I am sure we'll have lots and lots of stories to tell!

Since we've been home avoiding the crowds with new baby, we've also skipped out on church on Sundays. Instead we've had worship at home, singing along with some worship dvds- Shout Kids praise and Hillsong kids- and then watching a sermon dvd from the PassionTalk series, with Louie Giglio preaching. It's been so encouraging to us, refreshing. We are so grateful for the faithful in Christ who love God and love people for His glory. We so desire to be a family that loves others as our overflow of love for God. Make us faithful, Lord. We want to be one of those "fruitcakes" that makes a difference! :) Until next time...

Kaleb James

2010-01-09T15:02:00.005-06:00

Kaleb James Hirsch
January 1st, 2010, 12:02am,
8 lbs. 0 oz, 20 1/4 inches

Daddy, Mommy & Kaleb, ringing in the New Year!

The big sisters checking out their new baby brother

Our sweet Kaleb James arrived on January 1st, 2010 at 12:02 am! He was the first baby of the New Year here. He weighed 8 lbs. exactly, 20 1/4 inches long. He's got a full head of thick dark hair. And he's handsome just like Daddy!
The labor was...labor. :) Slow going in the beginning, but fast once the doctor broke my water at 9:00pm. I was 6 cm then, and it only took 3 hours til we were holding him! All in all, it was another "easy" labor. Had lots of fun hanging out and passing the time before birthing him, and again, thanks to the chiropractor, had hardly any time at all pushing- a grand total of 3 minutes this time!
I am feeling great...recovering slowly and adjusting to life with 5 children. Kaleb is adjusting wonderfully, taking on to nursing well and is figuring out his days from nights. We even have had some 4 hour stretches in the night, which make a huge difference for Mommy! Gary has been home most of the time, which allows me to just care for Kaleb. That is one huge plus of being a business owner! I am so thankful for my sweet husband, who has been so thoughtful and caring for me during this time.
We have been talking a lot about life and where God has us right now. Of course, it's like God to be "up to something" again- looks like there's more He's got planned for us and we're in the middle of more changes and things. More on that later...but as Gary and I have talked and processed where we are in life, we are so thankful. So glad to have each other, and be blessed with the family He's given us. We've talked a lot about raising our children and ways to help each of them in their own personalities see God. It's so wild that each of our children are so very different. And we want to nurture those differences, pointing them to Christ. We definitely need wisdom as we do that. So please pray with us as we seek Him to raise this precious "quiver" of children He's entrusted to us!

Kaleb, the 1st baby of 2010 at OMC with his "goodies"

The Hirsch Gang- all SEVEN of us!

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Ringing in the New Year

2009-12-30T22:42:00.003-06:00

So! Have not done any better keeping up with the blog...many transitions...but now settled into our "new" place, and hopefully establishing our new "normal." Whatever normal is, anyway. Facebook really has taken my time more than the blogging...but, hope to get better with it with the new year.
Thanksgiving came, right after we moved into our new place, along with everyone in our family getting the flu. It was a rough transition. Thankfully we moved in slowly and were able to get things settled in. Our first night here, Bethany started sick, then it went through each of us one day apart up to Thanksgiving day. And not only that, but spread to my extended family and their friends who came home with them too...out of 14 of us, 12 of us had it. Thankfully, it was only a quick bug and was done in about 8 hours tops. There really were some bonding experiences over it. Lots of opportunities to serve each other during the sickness. And a great reminder to be thankful for our health. It was one Thanksgiving we won't forget for sure!
Christmas was so fun, with the 4 girls. And I'm grateful we were able to really enjoy and celebrate together without being in the hospital having baby. It was a "quieter" Christmas, in that it was only our family on Christmas day. That's never happened before- we always have other people to share the celebration with. It was different, but we all agreed very timely, as this could very well have been our last Christmas all together...there's a great possibility of my brother and his girlfriend getting married soon, and most likely, they'll spend Christmas with her family. So it was a sweet time with just us. Of course, the weeks leading up to Christmas are full of parties, activities, and preparing for Christmas- baking, crafting, wrapping. This year I was preparing way in advance, just in case baby came early. I'm so glad I did! It helped things go much smoother and me be able to enjoy all the preparations. As we read through the Christmas Scriptures in the couple weeks before for our devos, it was fun to be pregnant and imagine being Mary going through all of that. Watching "The Nativity Story" really makes it real too- can not imagine walking/riding on a donkey for over 100 miles, ready to give birth! No wonder she had Jesus when they got to Bethlehem- all that walking! Anyway, it was neat for me to be able to really "feel" and imagine Mary's position as a full term pregnant woman. I think this year was just rich in celebrating all the way around. The gifts were all so thoughtful- Gary especially went all out, and with every package I opened, had a coordinating envelope with the gift that had Scripture and the reason for the gift, to help point me to Jesus. That made each thing more special than just the gift itself. Bekah made cards for each of us, and that was so sweet, giving what she could, making something for us from the heart. She was also eager to help in getting everything ready and excited to be a part of all the surprises. It was so fun!
Now we're getting ready for baby. Here I am, the eve of birthing him, trying to catch up! :) I've been contracting well for a while now, but especially these last few days. I keep thinking maybe this is it...and then they'll slow down a bit. I do know that by January 1st, we will have baby Kaleb James to hold and cuddle! To see the light at the end of the tunnel has made it more bearable. We still cannot believe that there will actually be another little Hirsch baby...and that this one is a BOY. Though it's not really become real for us- probably not til we get to actually SEE him- the reality of raising a boy is sinking in. The difference in how to point him to Christ, how to challenge him to lead (the girls we challenge to lead by being the first to submit!)...he will have to be challenge to take risks, walking in faith. It will be different in seeking the Lord for what it means to parent a boy...channeling his aggression, passion to conquer, etc, for God's glory and not just his self satisfaction. All of it has got us thinking and praying. Praying for more wisdom...for our girls, for this new little boy.
All in all- what a way to end the year! 2009 was a good one! Full of change and lots of excitement yet again. More seeking the Lord and just doing the next thing He leads us in. And now, we'll start 2010 in the same position. Ready to hear, humbled before Him to see what things He has in store. He's so good! Have a Happy New Year! Promise...pictures and post coming soon! :)

Long Time, No Blog...

2009-10-21T14:23:00.002-05:00

Oh my, are we behind, or what?! ...okay, life with 4 children and one on the way has made blogging a bit hard...even for a journaler like me. Facebook has stolen the time...if I have a minute, it's a LOT easier to catch up on fb than on here! BUT...I still want to document certain things, and I know some of you have mentioned my lack of writing, trying to catch up on what is going on here with us...SO, here it is!
We celebrated our 8th anniversary on May 5th. I am so blessed. I am more in love with my man every day. It's just starting to get good!...I turned 30 on May 10th, and that was "monumental". Or not. Really, didn't feel much change except that I have to remember to say "30" now when asked how old I am. I remember thinking that was really old when I was younger. I am SO NOT old!...we have celebrated Bekah's 7th birthday on May 21st, Belle's 3rd birthday on June 6th, Bethany's 2nd birthday on August 16th...found out that this next baby is a BOY...and will be celebrating Brie's 1st birthday next week, October 29th.
We've also had some MAJOR ups and downs...just life. You know what I'm sayin'...I mean, just cause I'm totally in love with my man doesn't mean it's always pretty. Yes, we're committed. But yes, we're also very human. So, we've gotten to see God be God and do some major work in our hearts through times of high stress with our family, businesses, church life, and the like. It's life. I am grateful that I am freed to feel. Feel the pain and the hurt and the everything...and know it WILL be okay in the end. It's so wonderful. Thing is, I get to feel the joy so much deeper too. God is so good!
We have started some major changes with our businesses, Kosh Wholesale and Home Matters...lots of internal changes and just better managing...with the help of our friend Casey. Praise God for those who can be outside of the situation to help guide us that feel overwhelmed at the moment. It's exciting stuff that's being implemented. Now have a website...check it out! Koshwholesale.com
Oh yeah...and we've moved...again. Our friends whose house we were staying in came home from Australia and we packed up and moved out, stayed with my parents a little while getting their house ready for them, and now living with friends of ours for about a month before our rental comes available. Yes, we're crazy. But you see, God's provided. So we can be out here where so much of our life is and be able to be close by. Someone's come and expressed interested in our house in Thayer, so praying it will work out. We'll see. God always works it all out in the end anyway. We're just trusting Him moment by moment. Do what He says to do for now. Then now will turn to then. We don't have to worry about it. (I know, sometimes way easier said then done. That's why I've asked God to increase my faith in Him too. Maybe THAT'S why we're in this season of our life!)
So, the Hirsch family is once again, busy. Busy and crazy. What' s new? Like I had to update the blog for you to know that! I guess not that much has changed...LOL! God is good! Glad to catch up a bit.

Happy Anniversary! Happy Cinco de Mayo!

2009-05-05T07:39:00.002-05:00

Today is Gary and my 8th anniversary! He's giving me the afternoon to go take Melissa for her promised birthday mani/pedi (from last year!) and then we're out to dinner at El Charros. We always do Mexican food, since it's cinco de Mayo...and we'll sport our t shirts from Lis that she gave us for our wedding day like we've done every year so far. :)

Eight years...baby, it hasn't slowed down either! Mercy! I am SO thankful for our marriage and how I get to grow and see God through it. It's been a wild eight years, with lots and LOTS of ups and downs...I'm so glad I get to do this life with you. Thank you Lord, for a man who doesn't complete me, but points me to You, who does! God is good!

Reflections on Easter

2009-04-21T19:42:00.006-05:00

Happy Easter from the Hirsch family!

It may be a little late, but...I guess, better than never?! Well, the weather on Easter was cold and yucky, so our family picture was taken indoors- but our celebration was warm.

Well, not at first...you see, we had big thoughts on preparing the family to celebrate what we consider the biggest holiday as a christian. Christmas, when we celebrate Christ's birth, and Easter, when we celebrate Christ's death and then resurrection from the dead, are the two biggest holidays for our family. While Christmas is a celebration of God sending His son to Earth, Easter is the celebration of His purpose fulfilled on Earth- to die on the cross and raise again to have victory over sin and death and thus saving His people, the Church, for Himself. Easter is SO exciting! And yet, we failed.

Here's how. And how, as a wife, God worked me through my husband's failure to lead us as a family in really focusing on the meaning of Easter. Usually we'll do some sort of preparations towards Easter to get our minds and hearts set on why we're celebrating- reading through the Piper book, 50 Reasons..., reading through the gospel accounts during family worship, some activities like Resurrection eggs or making something together. I was waiting on Gary to lead us in what he thought best for our family. One of my biggest fears is if I don't do it, it won't get done. God's teaching me that sometimes, because I'll react in fear and make sure it gets done, my hubs doesn't have to- or think he doesn't need to- or whatever. Now, hear me. Gary is a WAY godly leader, wonderful husband, and is faithful to lead us. But he is human. So...Easter came quickly and nothing except our daily readings were planned. We talked about doing a couple things with the kids in prep for helping them to grasp why we celebrate Easter, as best as they can at a young age. After I'd suggested a few things, I waited. And the waiting turned to Easter morning...and I was way disappointed. Now, we usually do gifts for Easter, since it is big like Christmas. So, we had gifts like a worship dvd, journal, some outfits. Problem is, without them being taught why we're celebrating, Easter becomes about the gifts they get. I'm all for Easter baskets and things, as long as it's an overflow of joy in why we truly celebrate. If that's left out, all the kids remember or begin to think is that Easter is about chocolate and jelly beans. So I was hurt. Disappointed.

This time, though, I went to God. Many times I get mad in my hurt. Want to hurt back...you know, I've journaled on it here before. Thankfully, this time, Grace brought me to remember that Easter is about victory over sin and death, and to surrender my hurt to Him so that I can share in that victory, to not let it ruin the celebration. I can celebrate through the hurt. And so, there we were. I prayed quietly to the Lord as we went to join my parents at their church...and oh man, were we blessed. An awesome time of worship for us as we were reminded of why we celebrate- while surrounded by many people God's used very specifically in our family. God blessed us to have Dave and Amy here with us for 5 days, including Easter. Amy and I grew up together, and used her and another friend Tammy to deal with some specific sins that eventually caused my heart to turn back to Him. So we had them on one side, my family on the other, and surrounded by friends like the Igos, Scisms, Zellars...all of whom God's used in specific ways in our life. It was a joyful celebration, even in the midst of my hurt.

Dave and Amy

We enjoyed a big dinner and hanging out time that day. Later on in the evening, I was able to express my disappointments with Gary without anger, who was also feeling the same way. My words were- okay, so I was really hurt, because...and I need you to listen to me and believe me that I'm hurt. Just cause I'm not freaking out, doesn't mean I'm not hurt. It means God is having victory right now. So please hear me so I don't have to yell. :) Really, there was some seriousness to that, but I know I choose to yell...

Anyway, so after talking through it, and forgiveness had, I was reading in Luke 24. I was totally encouraged by the story of the women going to the tomb to prepare Christ's body to find angels and the body gone. The one angel tells them to go tell the men...and when they do, the men basically tell them they're idle and don't believe them. My version- stupid women, you're crazy. But Peter went and ran to the tomb to see for himself. I was struck with the reality that it isn't bad that they didn't believe the women right away. It was wrong that they didn't go check it out for themselves after they'd heard. I realized I'm married to a Peter. He listens and goes back to check it out himself. Then he marvels with me. That's the sign of the Spirit. The other men who didn't go back and check it out for themselves could've been spared much depression, sadness, etc...over Christ not being the Messiah they though he was if they'd gone to see for themselves. BUT...the rest of the chapter is on Jesus going and revealing to the two on the road to Emmaus and then to all the disciples for Himself. So, they saw that the women were speaking the truth eventually. They just missed out in the meantime.

All this has regrounded my trust in God. My biggest fear is being misunderstood. Even as I write this, I think, maybe I shouldn't, cause someone's gonna take it the wrong way or not understand what I'm saying. But I'm supposed to share what God shows me! I don't have to make things happen or get people to believe me or try to not be misunderstood. I just need to walk in obedience. Sometimes that means sharing what I've seen of God. And God will show who He wills to see it eventually too. My trust is in Him. Personally, for me, that's mainly with my hubs. God revealed the unfolding of His plans first to the women in this passage. Even though the men are the leaders. The women were to help point the men to the truth. The men didn't believe. The women didn't have to make them believe, just share. I am beyond grateful for a husband who is filled with the Spirit and runs to see for Himself. Who is humble and will allow me to help him. And for a God that changes my heart that naturally wants to take the lead to follow.

Praise God, He is Good! And hopefully, next year, we'll be ready to get prepared to celebrate BEFORE Easter's here! Even if not, He is gracious!

Party at the Park and field trips...

2009-04-21T14:45:00.008-05:00

April has been loaded with lots of activity already. The warmer weather has been a welcome change to get out of the house. We enjoyed another friend's birthday party, this time at the park...it's always interesting for me to go somewhere by myself with all 4 girls. Thankfully, most all our friends are more than helpful.

Enjoying the park with friends.

We also got to go on a couple field trips, which are more frequent as the days grow warmer here and we're able to get out and about. Our home school co-op got to go on a nature hike at a nearby conservation. It was a long 1 1/2 hour hike, but all did very well. It was nice to be out enjoying God's creation and actually have someone there to point out different flowers and such that we may otherwise overlook. God truly made all things amazingly, pointing to His glory as Creator. We were even careful not to "kill the parents" as our guide said concerning not stepping on the plants. lol.

Our home school co-op group at the conservation...minus three other families that joined us that day

Bekah has read the first two of the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House in the Big Woods and Farmer Boy. She's in the middle of the third one now, Little House on the Prairie. We were able to go visit Laura's house in Mansfield, which is only about an hour from us, while Dave and Amy were here visiting. It was fun, and way more interesting than I'd thought it'd be. Bekah enjoyed seeing Pa's fiddle, which they annually take out and play at a festival. I was going to have her just read the first 3 books herself to expose her to the stories, but after visiting Laura's home, Bekah said she'd really like to read all of the series, which is fine with me! That same day we also went to Bakersville, a little old time village set up that is home to Baker Creek Seed Company, which sells seeds that have no GMOs, and are all heirloom seeds. After having done a 4 week gardening seminar, this was a cool place to visit. Really amazing, how many seeds they have- they had over 190 varieties of just tomatoes! Isn't God amazing?!

The girls in their bonnets, enjoying the Little House

The amazing Baker Creek Seed Store- all those little bins hold packets of seeds

We also hit Silver Dollar City again, this time with Poppy, Gammy, and ChiChi. It was World fest time, and worked out perfectly with the geography we've been doing. It's a stretch at times to find some cultural things here where we live, so this was a welcomed event to expose the kids to other cultures, even if limited. We got to see a steel drum band from Trinidad- awesome!- and the Irish feet of fire dancers- pretty amazing. We all ate different foods from other countries and got to see a ton of flags and such. It was a fun, beautiful day of learning in a non-book form- welcomed any time!

We are in fact, part Irish- I am half Irish, half Korean, which makes our girls a 1/4 of each.

You should see OUR Irish feet of fire! lol!

On the big 'ole rocking chair

This is a kid's roller coaster, with Poppy in the front, all by himself. haha. Bekah chickened out last minute and ran back out. Belle enjoyed the roller coaster with Daddy in the third cart. After riding a bunch of different rides for the first time, Belle said- Rides crazy! They're fun! Guess you know who will be our thrill seeker!

ChiChi was a good sport and was Bekah's riding buddy a lot.

All the family enjoyed a full day at SDC Worldfest!

March Madness

2009-04-18T14:02:00.009-05:00

A little behind on posts, but here's some of the Hirsch March madness. We enjoyed the start of spring with a few different Spring Breaks-

First Spring break was when Tiffany, Taylor, and Daniel came to see us. It was cold, nasty weather, but we were able to go to the library together and hang out at different times through the week:

Then, the next week, Jonathan and Christina came to visit, and it was beautiful. We hit the park and got to hang out for a few days:

Then we had our family Spring break mini vacation for the weekend. We went to Silver Dollar City- it was cold, but we had fun. Then we went to Springfield to shop and hang out with the Wallaces. We got to go to Jump Mania for the first time. It was so fun!

1,2,3,4...Packed up and ready to go in the van.

Silver Dollar City, Daddy gathering the herd at the farm.

It may have been cold, but Bekah was so looking forward to the frozen strawberry/lemonade!

The girls enjoyed the hotel just as much as anything else!

Bethany and Jude at Jump Mania.

Belle's face was priceless- she had that panic look every time she went down the slide...for like an hour!

The June girls, Haven and Belle. They're only a few days apart.

Bekah enjoyed the slide too!

Bekah and Jadon enjoying Jump Mania!

We also enjoyed celebrating Natalie's birthday with the chaos of friends at her butterfly surprise party, and the Nielsen's adoption with a baby shower. A few pics:

Natalie's birthday crowd

Baby Rachel!

I made the diaper cake...Leigh Ann made the pretty flower ball.

Lots of activity and celebrations in March...we've been busy! God's been good. The newness of Spring has often called to mind the newness of life in Christ. Feels like a reason to celebrate! More posts to come very soon!

I Hate Sin and the Consequences Thereof

2009-03-14T07:29:00.002-05:00

This is one of my mother's many sayings that I've adopted as my own. Something I've heard her say and tell me and teach me through since...well, since I can remember. I have been thinking much over this as God's brought me here recently dealing with pain and hurt myself. (See a couple blogs before this about pain.) Feelings of being so hurt that I am tempted to close off, shut down, so I can't feel. Not completely...just keep "going" in life without really "doing" life, if that makes sense.

I hate sin. Not just dislike it. HATE it. I've grown tired of it. It makes me sick. sad. hurt. I look forward to the day it ends...in heaven. For now, I'll hate it. I hate it in me. I hate it in you. I hate seeing it all around us. I don't care what it disguises itself as, I hate sin. Sin is sin is sin. I hate sin.

Not only that...I hate sin's consequences. I hate what sin causes...what it brings with it. I hate the pain. guilt. shame. I hate what it cost to get rid of it.

And yet it is. What is the purpose? Why? To make us feel bad? To make us drown in sorrow and guilt? Oh no! What joy there can be, even in the midst of sin...when we see it as the backdrop it is. My hubby often says that sin is the backdrop for God's glory. Sin helps us see God's glory even clearer. Like black velvet behind a diamond ring. When forgiven, cleansed, set free...we see the depth of His love.

And THAT is glorious!

And so, in the midst of the fight against sin...not against each other...I will praise God. I am seeing more and more how the real enemy is not someone else. It's not even myself. It's the sin in me. The sin in you. Ultimately, Satan himself who rules this world and uses sin to his advantage.

Sin gets in the way of knowing God...not knowing about Him, KNOWING Him. The experiential knowledge of Him, what John 17:3 says eternal life is: knowing God and Jesus Christ whom He sent. I want to KNOW him this way more than anything else. What keeps me from this is what I hate most- sin. Not so and so who...or that one who...or somebody else that...Sin. That is it's name. Sin keeps me from my Treasure.

But praise be to Jesus! We're not left alone with Sin! We're set free from it's bondage through Christ Himself! He fights on my behalf. That is a hallelujah! Free from and victory over my own sin. And free to truly love those who sin against and therefore hurt me.

Help us, Lord. Help us to treasure you most and to hate sin and its consequences. For your glory. For our joy in You.

Week in Review: Fun with Gammy and more

2009-03-02T17:10:00.007-06:00

So, this past week, we:

Had a fun date night- dinner at subway, a long talk, good laughs...and a few rounds of games in the arcade section at Super Walmart. (I know...but we live HERE, so it's something to do!) And anyway, it really was fun, even if I did get whooped at Ms. Pac Man and air hockey.
Had dinner with the Wiehes and made some battle plans for the flower selling bus. Yes, you heard correctly.
Took advantage of Gammy's day off and the beautiful weather on Wednesday and headed to the park. It was so pretty and we had a great time.

The only way to get them all to be still and get a pic was to feed them cookies...so, keep 'em coming!

My girls took up the whole swing set! What will we do when we have more? haha.

Had a final dinner with our friends Adam and Shannon before he left for his final training and then heads overseas to Afghanistan with the National Guard. Pray for them these next 18 months. But, it was a fun night, tough steaks and all. Good laughs.
Took a really spontaneous trip to Springfield- Mom, Me, and all four of the girls. We're crazy. But it was so fun. We hit Target (woohoo!), Hobby Lobby, and the mall. And were blessed with a surprise- Todd, Heather, and the kids walking our way while in the food court enjoying Chick-fil-A. So, we got to eat and visit a bit. I was so glad to see them!

In the play area...Bethany wanted out. She ran around in joyful circles, squealing the whole time.

Celebrated Taylor Igo's 10th birthday with a little bowling. It was Bekah and Belle's first time bowling for real. Wii doesn't count in Bekah's opinion. They're hooked. They're asking when we can go as a family. It was fun.

Belle and Bekah in their first pair of bowling shoes.

That was our week...lots of fun things going on, lots of learning going on. It's good stuff. God is faithful! Hope yours was a blessed week too!

Free to Feel...Pain that Turns to Joy

2009-02-24T22:27:00.004-06:00

So, this is what I'm learning now: If we are free to feel the depths of pain, and walk through the pain by the power of the Spirit, the measure of that depth of pain will be turned to joy in His presence.

I think of Philippians 3, where it talks about sharing in the fellowship of His sufferings by becoming like Christ in his death, that we can also experience the resurrection. Notice which comes first. We like to talk about and share the joy of sharing in the resurrection. But if we're not willing to go through the sufferings first, there can not be resurrection. And if we dare to only go through a little suffering, that will be the shallow amount of joy we experience after we go through it too. I want more.

Psalm 16:11 talks about joy in His presence. I want that joy! I want His presence! He has brought me to a place where I now value that and desire that more than most things in this world at most times. Except pain. I run. I don't want it. I'll do whatever to get away from it. Now hear me: I'm not talking about being a martyr, conjuring up your own "pain" or going after it. We don't really even need to do that. There's enough pain to deal with already there without us having to make up our own. What I'm talking about are the things we ignore, take drugs or drink or overeat or ______ to dull, the things we act like aren't that big of a deal, the things that make us mad because it hurts too much to face that it really hurts us so we just get mad instead. Most of these things are everyday types of things- expectations we have that are unmet, unkind words spoken at a hard time, etc. Some of these things are things we've experienced in our past that may be horrific- some type of abuse, the pain of adultery, etc. Each of us has experienced some type of pain. What do you do with it? Stuff it? Pretend it's not there? Freak out and then go on like it never happened? Constantly bring it up just to let everyone know why you're the way you are? What have you done with your pain?

Me: I tend to do all of these at different times. But mostly, I freak. I mean, I'm a pretty outward freak out type of personality. If you've known me for any amount of time, I'd say some words you'd use to describe me would be: boisterous, expressive, extreme, etc. I know that God made me VERY out like that. And yet, you may be surprised here, but I don't even express all that I'm feeling inwardly outwardly. Scary, huh? I bet you're glad too. :)

So, I've asked God now what. In my outwardness of dealing with pain, I've often found myself hurting others. I want them to feel some pain. They're hurting me, so let me dish out a little, so they know what it feels like. Or, I'm just getting out my pain and in the process hurt someone back unintentionally. This is not quite right. I've gotten tired of being the source others pain. Life hurts too much on it's own. I don't want to be yet another source of hurt for people. How can I learn from the pain I've experienced and learn from those situations so I'm not doing the same things to others? And now, I'm asking, how can I express the intensity of the pains I feel without hurting those around me?

If you've seen my shelfari on the sidebar, I read the book Shopping for Time by Carolyn Mahaney recently. Through it, I went before God and asked him for what to do next with what I read. Basically it's a great tool for making the best use of the time God's given you and helps with a strategic plan to do that. Having four kids, home schooling, and being a business owner, I can use a plan. Of course, the first thing is making time with God number one of the day. If nothing else, just being with Jesus. Duh. I know that. Yet, with a new baby, etc (and they are very gracious to moms to be and new mothers) it's not always easy. But my newest has been sleeping through the night and I knew that meant it's time for me to get in the groove again. I am so not a morning person. So, this is absolutely God's grace for me to get up while it's still dark. However, He's been faithful...sometimes I'm not so much, but He is. All this to say, that since I've had about an hour of complete quietness before the house starts to stir, much has been coming to my mind. I mean, I have had time to be in stillness. And because of that, I can think straight. And because of that, things are surfacing to my mind that I've kinda been able to ignore by keeping busy or rushed through healing to quiet the pain. At first, I was thinking a lot of my past, things I'd done, things done to me. Then I started having dreams. I was like, what Lord?! Why is this stuff coming now, when I'm having times with you? Shouldn't that be keeping this from happening? And you know what, He answered. It just wasn't what I'd imagined. I believe these things are coming up BECAUSE I've had the time to be still and go before Him. He's bringing things to the forefront that need to be really dealt with. Felt. So I can go through them, not around them. Not stuff them quickly as I "claim" His healing. Most often, deep wounds take lots of time to heal. How do I think mine can be healed quickly?

So, here's where it's left me right now. I can stuff it again. I can get busy again. I could overeat or go wild and dull the pain with drugs or drinking and people say I've lost it. Or I could get really busy with churchy stuff and serve others so much that people say I'm so dedicated. Either would be wrong. Both will leave me unhealed. I am sensing the Lord has something way bigger. Maybe painful. But in the end, way worth it. Because I know that He is worth it, I'm willing. I may lash out at times when in the midst of walking through it, something happens or someone does something that feels like salt in the wound, but I'm hoping God will be strong to get me through that and forgiveness had and a bond made with that someone.

I wish we'd see that when someone else does something hurtful, it's probably because they're going through something themselves. Often times, I'm so self centered, I can't see the possibility that what someone said or did or whatever is probably them going through their own hurt and struggling through it. Probably, if I'd just expressed that hurt to them and listened to them, I'd see that they're experiencing some of their own pain and we'd be able to walk together through our pains instead of causing more to each other. This is my prayer right now for myself and those around me. We're all in this same boat. There is reason for all the hurt. While we cannot use that to excuse sin, we can be understanding with each other and then go to God together. And then we all get to share in each other's pain and eventual healing. That's mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice. Sharing in it. That brings real unity.

God, help us! We're such a mess. And we desperately need You. Thank you for your Hope. Thank you for Your grace. Help us to go to you together. To walk through it together. And then, to see You together. Free us to feel the pain that You will turn to Joy, for our good, and Your glory. Amen!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T09:14:00.003-06:00

Warning: I am being oh-so-for-real, extremely vulnerable. Read cautiously. :)

I woke up this morning kinda groggy when my alarm went off to spend time with Jesus, the ultimate Lover of my soul. I had some pretty understandable reasons to sleep in this morning, at least in my mind, being that we'd dealt with sick kids for the last week and I ended up with the stomach bug Wednesday night through the wee hours of Thursday morning. We've been getting lots of rest and taking care of our bodies to kick this...and then we were able to go celebrate Kara's birthday at her party last night. I was taking temperatures before leaving, trying to be extra cautious. I know, I think I have a problem. :) All this to say that I was tired and not really "feeling the love" to compel me out of bed to spend time with the Lord who died for my sin and showed me the greatest love in all the world. Our flesh is still very here, isn't it?

I laid back in bed for a few more minutes and then the Lord graciously got my butt out of bed after the baby woke up a little earlier than normal to eat, so I was up. I went downstairs and was greeted by a small arrangement of roses with a heart and a note from my husband with scripture written out on it. As I went from coffee pot (God's grace to make me more than the walking dead in the morning) to my little spot I've made my morning meeting place with the Lord, to later on to the computer, my hubby had left little rose arrangements with scripture on it for me. After I'd seen the first two and sat down to journal and be with Jesus, I was struck with a sobering reality. Had God's grace not gotten this ungrateful, spoiled brat out of bed, I would've missed the blessing of love from my husband in the way he intended it to be received. I mean, Gary set those out in those places for me to find and be surprised. Had I not gotten up and gone to those spots, I would've missed the intended act of love from my husband...who is one avenue that God displays HIS love to me. Here's the point: God's grace is more than we can even begin to know. Apart from His grace, we'd totally miss out on it all. Every act of love from others is an outpouring of His love towards us. We don't deserve any bit of it. What we really deserve is hell. That He chooses to show us any kind of favor is a miracle in and of itself.

After my time this morning, I decided to make heart shaped pancakes with chocolate chips for breakfast. Okay, people. Sometimes it is totally the thought that counts. I don't know what on earth I did, but those things looked like anything but hearts. And yes, I was using a heart shaped form. Am I the only one who can't use one of those things? My mom makes it look so easy! And then I couldn't get the dern syrup bottle open. I'd gotten maple syrup, it was in a glass container and the lid wouldn't budge. I had pieces of the slip grip thingie on my counter from twisting so hard. So we ate retarded heart pancakes without syrup. Happy Valentine's Day, kids. HA. And my sweet Bekah was being so kind- they're really good Mommy, even without the syrup. I told her she didn't have to lie and it really was okay. Then she said they'd be really really good with syrup on them. I gotta make more sometime next week when we get that bottle open.

Anyway, this may be one of the best Valentine's days in my life yet. Gary has to work...when you own a business that's open on Saturdays, sometimes you don't have a choice. We are spending tonight together as a family, making heart shaped pizzas. (Hopefully this will go WAY better than the pancakes!) We're doing a romantic dinner alone a different night. Valentine's day isn't about the stuff or the big fuss. What it is is just a day the world has created to show love, or in my brother's opinion, a conspiracy to make a ton of money...he may be on to something. As a christian, I'm not going to just act like it doesn't exist, cause it does, so I'm not going to lie. At the same time, we're not going to fall into the materialism trap. Yet, there is a way that it can be God glorifying. Just like any other day. Is the answer for us as believers just to trivialize it? Act like we're SUPPOSED to show love EVERY day, so I'm not making a deal about today. That'd be fine if we really did express love EVERY day, but we don't. It's not even about stuff. If I get mad because I didn't get STUFF today, that'd be wrong too. Here's the reality- it's about a day set aside to express our love to those we love most. When that doesn't happen, it hurts. I get mad. Some of us then call the day stupid and act like it doesn't exist. Not because we really think it's stupid, but because it hurts too much to admit that we don't feel loved by the one(s) that are supposed to love us most. This is what I've experienced in the past, whether on a Valentine's day or birthday or anniversary or whatever. There were times that Gary did get me something, maybe even expensive, but it still hurt me. Because he made it about just making sure I got something. What I really wanted was to feel loved. It may be something that is actually pretty cheap or would seem stupid to someone else, but to me expressed that He knows me and loves me, appreciates me. It's a woman thing to want that. This is the way God created us. It's not bad. It's bad when we react wrong because it doesn't happen. That's what I've done in the past. Instead of running to God in the midst of the hurt and knowing that He alone fulfills, I've gotten mad and hurt Gary as much as I was hurting. Since the garden of Eden, woman has had a desire for her husband. According to Ephesians 5:29, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, nourishing and cherishing it. That's what we desire as women. To be nourished- our needs, loved by our husbands similarly as our children. To be cherished- our desires, what makes us different from our children. What distorts this is a lot of wrong perspectives- that love is to be made much of, to have a feeling only...that love is all about me. That love means you're going to...insert whatever wrong thinking you've dealt with.

Here's why this is the best Valentine's day ever for me this year: God's grace has finally brought me- maybe just for today, so when I struggle with it again, remind me- that each and every act that expresses love towards me that really does touch my heart because it's done out of love and not duty, happily and not grudgingly, knowing me and not just anything to say it got done- this too is an outpouring of love from God. What I should TREASURE isn't the feeling of being loved or even the person expressing it to me. These are simply arrows pointing us to the one who is to be fully treasured, God Himself, who IS LOVE.

So if you feel loved by those around you today- thank them, show appreciation to them, but don't treasure them, treasure God. And if you don't feel loved by anyone around you today- hurt, don't hurt them, and treasure God. And in all things, let's give thanks for His gifts! Happy Valentine's Day!

Celebrating New Life!...and Health after sickness!

2009-02-10T12:35:00.003-06:00

We are SO excited for our friends, Jon and Robin, who have just adopted their newest baby girl, Rachel Joy, who was born on February 5th around 12:30ish am. There is much to their story of coming to this adoption that testifies of God's incredible grace. We are glad to have a tiny part of that in prayer, walking with them through it.

After a lot of ups and downs and having to rest in the Lord as they got word this baby would be theirs, to not, to theirs, etc, last night they met their baby girl and were able to hold her and take her "home"- to a nearby hotel, until the papers they need to come home are in their possession.

After talking with Robin today, I can NOT wait to see this little baby girl. She said she kind of looks like a Hirsch baby, but with darker skin. She has lots of dark hair (not just on her head) :) and slanted eyes. They took her to the doctor today and she is perfectly healthy. To think of all the joy in anticipation and waiting and holding loosely their desires, this baby girl now has a home with a loving dad, mom, and two big sisters.

Rejoice with us in the beauty of God's grace to us revealed through adoption. What a small taste of our getting to be in the family of God! Thankfully, God never had to wait and go back in forth in limbo if we were His or not. :) I so hope that one day we can experience this within our own family. For now, we will rejoice greatly with those who get to right now!

We are also rejoicing...though cautiously...over healing of yucky sickness within our family. Poor baby Brie was a tad sick with belly aches- I thought it was something I'd eaten, but then a couple days later, little Bethany was sick with the flu, and then Belle til yesterday. So far, no one else has come down sick with the bug, and we're hoping to be spared. For now, we're steering clear of sugar and faithfully taking our immune stimulator and getting lots of rest. We have a party to go to Friday to celebrate Kara Igo's 1st birthday! It would be very sad to not be well enough to go. So, we're nursing everyone to get over this. We've experienced lots of love from the Lord expressed through family and friends during this craziness- help from my parents, food from friends. It's helped lighten the load and keep me semi sane. Let me tell you, at one point, as the baby was screaming to eat, Bethany was crying just because she felt so bad, and Belle was crying, having had just thrown up across the kitchen floor, I thought- OH BOY! Lord, quickly...be near! I am MOST DEFINITELY in need of your strength today. And He was faithful. We all made it. And He's bringing us through today too.

So...that's the latest within our home. Hope you are getting to experience God at work around and within you too! He is so good to open our eyes to be aware of His presence, in the midst of great joys like adoption, and not-so-great things like sickness. Even if you're not, know that there is hope, because HE CAN and HE DOES. He is good!

Ice Ice Baby: Part I

2009-02-01T23:30:00.006-06:00

If you hadn't heard, we had a big 'ole ice storm here in the Ozarks, and it was pretty nasty. That would be why we've been "offline" and no blog updates for a while. A tree took out our phone line on Tuesday and it just got fixed Saturday afternoon. Thankfully, most people have weathered it fairly well and God spared us from losing electricity for any extended periods of time. We are beyond grateful to live where we are right now and not back in our Thayer home, as most of Thayer is without electricity, which means no water either because we have a well.

This week, because of the ice storm, we have been feeling the pressures. We had someone wanting to come look at our Thayer house this week, interested in buying it. I laughed, like, come on, Lord! Really?! The week you send a huge ice storm?! Knowing who controls the weather helps us rest in His sovereignty and not freak out. Gary ventured out to Thayer on Thursday to check on the house, business, and family members, and said it looked like a bomb went off, a mess everywhere. Gary's dad who lives only a couple miles from our house rode his tractor with front end loader on it and cleared a path of limbs and debris, taking over 2 hours to get to our house! It's a big mess. We have TONS of trees in that yard...well, now we have TONS of limbs down. It'll be okay, though.

Also, our main store, Kosh Wholesale, has been out of power since Tuesday, which means the store's been closed since then. Hard thing for a small business owner to be closed so much, especially in these times. BUT, God's been faithful to remind us that He is wise. The Bible curriculum we're using for home school talked about God is Wise: He works all things out perfectly. The text was about Joseph. We've been reviewing the curriculum as part of our family worship time each evening, and it was such a good reminder for us in the midst of this time, a time when little money is coming in and many bills are due. One way God is providing is through our insurance which is going to help out on loss. It is good to know that God is still in the midst of these things and we get to allow our children to see how God is providing for us.

Another cool thing: our home fellowship couldn't meet at the home we usually meet in because of the ice storm- too hard to get there. Instead, this morning, we broke up and met in 3 different homes. We hosed one of them here and had a big breakfast together, then had worship time and then worked on cleaning up yards and such. Well, the worship time was sweet in intimacy and sharing. One of the things shared was James 1, about suffering- consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds...this was a passage that Gary had mentioned to me and we discussed just last night as he's doing a study on James with a friend. Anyway, it was really neat. And all the sharing and adding to and encouraging was so sweet. And the house here is all cleaned up, trees all taken care of- only need to haul off the piles of debris now. It was such a blessing to have the church body together helping. Here are a few pics of the ice storm and the clean up in progress.

God is near

2009-01-21T15:22:00.003-06:00

So, I have been really busy...I know, not really anything new with that. We have taken the month of January to re-evaluate and look at some things, and work on setting up some better "systems", organizational type stuff that may take the month of January to get going, but will make our life smoother for the rest of the year. This had led to a little less blogging, but necessary. Having four children, two businesses, and being involved in others lives takes real purposefulness in order for all of them to be done well.

God has been really near in this past week. I don't know about you, but there seems to be seasons of life when His presence seems more near- that I'm more aware of Him being actually involved in my life than at other times. Probably because I'm taking time to slow down and be aware. Anyway, I wanted to share a few ways we have known His presence very clearly this past week specifically.

Well, one of those happened this past weekend. We'd gotten into an argument over something little- laundry- that was really about something bigger-communication, or the lack of good communication. It manifested itself through the laundry, specifically a load containing the baby's car seat cover which she'd exploded in the night before. (There's a reason I mention this so specifically.) Well, anyway- so we were getting ready to go to fellowship in the morning and it'd carried into Sunday's time of getting ready. We'd gotten into this disagreement so strongly, that Gary said forget it, I'm not going. He didn't want to be around people and try to act fine when everything wasn't, and needed time away to meet with God. He'd been around people lots, especially with him gone last week to Dallas for Market. Anyway, so I was like, well, I REALLY need to be around people. I've been home all week with the kids, some of it by myself, and I'm so tired, I need help to meet with God. I was just so tired that I felt like I couldn't even go to God on my own. He was gracious to understand and said, then you go and I'll stay home with the kids. Then we got into it a bit more, and it got late, so I told Bekah to tell her daddy I was going to FBC instead. As I drove away, I was convicted that I just told my husband where I was going through my daughter, when the last we'd talked he'd told me to go to our church fellowship. So, I decided it'd be best to just go where he'd told me. Then I started freaking out inside, thinking about how I explain that I'm there and he's not and how much to say that would explain we're in need, but without disrespecting my husband. Just cause they can act a little bit jerky sometimes doesn't mean their a complete jerk, ya know? It's more like sin at the time. It doesn't define us, it's just that we're living a lie for the moment, not living as free in Christ. Anyway, so I quickly called my mom, tried to get ahold of my parents various ways til finally my dad answered his cell phone. I asked him to pray for us and he talked me through some things, giving some really good wisdom for the situation through a man's perspective. In the meantime, I'd pulled over to talk with him and when we were done it was already 10:55- 25 minutes past our starting time, and I still had at least 15 minutes to get there. So I called Gary and asked him if it'd be alright to just go to FBC, where my family attends and we used to go. He said sure. So, I walk in to this: the chairs in a u shape, with partitions around the back except for a huge cross and Scripture posted on either side. So, you have to walk through the cross in order to enter, reading Scripture. Very cool...prep for worship. We sing a song that I often sing all by myself on the top of my lungs to Jesus, Sing to the King (or whatever the name of it is) and I know God's telling me he really is near and really is very in control. Then we sing a song I'd never heard before, Hosanna, with words that talk about God's grace being enough for us to make it through just today (I REALLY needed to hear that, cause I was just trying to get strength enough for the day!) and about God's presence being near casting out all fear. And I was reminded of the scripture in 1 Peter 3 that talks about being Sarah's daughters if we obey doing good and do not fear anything that's frightening. I realized then that all my responses toward Gary were based on fear, not in trusting God. Out of my fears, I was getting mad and responding in sin. So then we hear a sermon on 1 John, talking about if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with God and each other. So, if there's broken fellowship, there very well be sin...and that if I say I'm without sin, I'm a liar. So, I realize then that Gary's not the only one at fault in our specific situation we'd been arguing over. Here's what is hysterical. As I'm sitting there, the baby blows out her diaper. The car seat cover is again a mess. And I just started cracking up. It was like God saying...okay Lynette, I'm giving you opportunity to do this over again, this time do it the right way. I laughed out loud thinking about God sending me back home to deal with the "crap." :) I got to share this with some of the people who plan the service, how God used it to show me more of Himself and get me ready to go home and work through it with my hubby. It was then I found out that the music had been changed the last minute. It was so great. I know it definitely wasn't that God did it all for me. Oh my, how self centered that is! However, I do know He spoke very clearly to my heart in order to restore fellowship and then now we're able to share with the rest of the Church and hopefully it's encouraging to others too. When I got home Gary asked me how it was and I got to share it all with him. I asked for forgiveness for specific things and then asked him about his time at home and what he heard. He said to not isolate himself. I asked him how he heard that, cause that seems pretty wild to hear those words specifically. He said- Proverbs 18. (we're reading through Proverbs this month and Sunday was the 18th.) In our ESV translation it says- "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment." I was cracking up. He said it made him laugh when he read it. And verse 22 says- "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." And he smiled at me. It was so funny...and sweet...and wonderful to restore that fellowship and then get to talk through and deal with the situation. It was so encouraging to us- hope it encourages you to go to God too.

And this morning, as our new President, Barack Obama, leads us for his first full day, I was reminded of these words from Proverbs 21:1- "The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD: he turns it wherever he will." We could not vote for our first African American president. Not because of his race. Dern, that would've been so stinking awesome to get to be a part of that history making. Because of our convictions of life, we couldn't vote for such an outspoken very extreme pro choice candidate. Some things he stands for...or doesn't...get me worried. I think about living in America now and wonder what kind of change he really is going to bring. I was so grateful that God reminded me that God really is in control- STILL. Barack Obama's heart remains in the Lord's hands. There is reason in God's placing him in our leadership. Obama's leadership is still in submission to God's. And so we pray. And trust God. No worries.

God is gracious to pour out his presence to us, to allow us to see that He is near. Spend time being still enough to hear Him. He is speaking. And it's oh so refreshing!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T15:54:00.008-06:00

From the Hirsch family, we hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas season and have a great New Year! This is our attempt at a family photo with our Christmas outfits...and we finally gave in to a silly face, crazy picture.

Probably more accurate of our family, anyway! :)

Ours was a blessed Christmas...so much fun this year, with the new baby Brie and three girls eager to actually be a part of handing out gifts and capable of tearing up the paper. It was funny at times, trying to get them to slow down. At one point, Belle was handing out gifts to whoever she could get to take them, even if they weren't theirs. Bekah was quick to help straighten that out- that was quite a stretch for her personality. We have laughed often this holiday.

We were able to finally breathe from all the preparations, and I've definitely learned what NOT to do in adding to the already hectic schedule. People, do NOT bake 12 loaves of bread in one evening. Yes, this mom of four did stay up til 4 am baking bread that WOULD NOT rise and had a frustrating run in with a Walmart employee who was obviously just worn out from the holiday crowd. Thankfully, God reminded me that her day was probably just as insane as mine and prompted me to ask her about it and how she was rather than tell her off like I really had wanted to at first. Amazing, how when we stop long enough to think, we can get over ourselves. Anyway, so just don't do it. Bake the bread early enough to freeze it so you're not up all night. :) I AM learning!

Anyway, a few things we got to do in celebration of our Lord's birth:

Had a Christmas celebration with the Wiehe family and got to hang out before it got really crazy. It was so fun to watch them open their presents. And hysterical, as we got them (Kurt & Melissa) what they had gotten for each other! (And that sweet Melia in the middle, she didn't want a purse, she wanted a dolly...but let me tell ya, a few days later, she was missing her purse cause her momma put it away until she had a grateful heart and as her sissy Natalie on the left carried hers around, it was making Melia want to have a grateful heart. A few days later when we we over there, she came up to me and said "I forgive you" which Natalie quickly helped her reword it to "I'm sorry I was ungrateful for my purse and said I wanted a dolly. Do you forgive me?" People- these are two little girls, learning. It was beyond cute.)

Christmas Eve morning we spent at Lynette's family's house, waking up like it was Christmas morning. Tia and JaJa were with us, so it was extra special, since all of that side of our family was together. We also got some very thoughtful presents, some even handmade. (Notice Belle holding up her sissy Brie's head. She was thoroughly worried about her head not being "up." Bethany is obliviously happy, in her own little happy world.)

Christmas Eve night we ate Chen's with the family (a tradition since living in Missouri) and then began our own tradition with the Igos, skipping the candlelight service and instead coming back to the house to have our own time together reading the Christmas accounts and letting the kids act it out with their nativity sets. And we tried to sing some songs, but kept forgetting the words. Then we played a mean few games of Sequence, which by the way, the women WON! This has been an ongoing thing since we've been friends, but seemed like the women were always getting beat. So, this was a nice relaxing time and one I'd like to keep instead of trying to juggle kids in the crammed sanctuary and keeping them quiet and not burning down the building with the candles. (The Hirsch/Reavis families in our annual color coordinated picture!)

Christmas morning we woke up and read from the Bible and then gave each other gifts in celebration of Jesus. It was really fun. It's funny to see the girls personalities come out as they opened gifts- Bekah more quiet, smiling, Belle screeching every time anyone opened anything, and Bethany trying to steal everyone else's stuff or beating them on the head with it, and Brie just chilling. I really enjoyed that Bekah has been so excited about getting gifts for people, and had asked about doing some "work" to earn money to buy her own gifts. She did, and got some things for her sisters at the dollar store. It was so sweet to watch her get excited about giving and thinking through what they may like and then her watching them as they opened their gifts. Bethany's reaction was so wonderful. I was blessed with way too many things from my sweet husband, but my two most favorites that I've really really really wanted- my very own new ESV study Bible (the new ones that came out!) and a Cricut for all my crafting needs. So fun! I was feeling overwhelmed at one point and told Gary that it was all too much, to which he winked and responded- you have to learn to receive graciously before you can give graciously, right? We've learned much in the giving and getting area- one being that.

Christmas day we went over to the family's and had a huge lasagna meal with them, the Igos, and Gary's dad. We got to just chill out and enjoy company with bellies full- way more fortunate than so many others. (The girls with Gary's dad, Mopa)

We have begun looking toward 2009 with prioritizing and planning. I love a fresh start. It's a great reminder of what God's done for us. Everything new, clean, hopeful. Gary and I have talked a lot about what we'd like to see happen with our family this new year. He's expressed some things that God's put on his heart to lead us in, and I'm really excited. I know we'll fail at times and priorities will be turned upside down, but we're grateful that we can start over at any time. We hope to begin the year strong, prayerful and ready to be flexible with whatever God wants to do with us. We really desire God to be seen through our family, in whatever ways He wants to do that. We pray that for our family and friends too! Have a Happy New Year! Party like it's...2 thousand and nine!

Christmas time celebrations, new adventures, home school fun

2008-12-16T20:52:00.005-06:00

So these days have been full. "Normal" for our family has been officially redefined. We can safely say that we have now been acclimated to our family of six. It takes a lot of work, but the rewards are great. There is much dependence on God, just to get through the day all in one piece. We may have a lost shoe or someone screaming about something, but in the end, after the shoe is found and the screamer calmed done, it is good as long as we've seen God through it. We're laughing more...and also enjoying quietness more.

We enjoyed our business Christmas party for Kosh Wholesale and Home Matters. Gary and I had fun coming up with the awards and prizes for our "awards ceremony." Some of them were REALLY fun, but all of them shared a bit of each employee. We really are so blessed with the people who work with us.

Angela with "chinese" eyes, sitting with her husband Carl, Ciera and Pat.

These ladies are always asking us when we're going to bring them chinese for lunch.

Miss Pat with her husband Howard, looking on as Gary is presenting some "awards."

(With that silly grin on his face that I love so much!)

Is that...Anderson Cooper? Oh no- that's just Kurt, with his wife Melissa.

Kurt won the celebrity look alike award.

On that same day, we became owners of a school bus. Yes, people, a school bus. And no, it's not our new family vehicle- though some day we may have need for one. (like taking family trips with the Igos and Wiehes! ha.) Really, though, it is a part of our expanding the business and taking on a new adventure- doing flower wholesale to florists. This is going to be a really fun one too. It is in the works.

Kurt, Melissa, Me and Gary in front of the bus- before the renovations!

And so, before we had to do the renovations on the new bus, we took it out for a spin around the big city. Since our friend Becky's 30th birthday party had to be rescheduled due to strep throat, we went by there and sang Happy Birthday to her and delivered flowers. Then we went around and looked at Christmas lights and sang to some other families. It was a good time, topped off with hot chocolate too. Kurt even strung festive lights on the inside of the bus. It was hysterical. Good times.

The Wiehes, Cobbins, and Hirsch families all aboard the bus. Don't worry- Kurt has a cdl.

We also finished our chapter on Mars in our Science curriculum. Did you know Mars has the biggest volcano in our solar system?- Yep, Olympus Mons. Keep that for your trivia info. So, since Daddy oversees science projects, Bekah and Daddy built their own volcano, and then the next few days it has been erupting numerous times. I always wanted to do that as a kid, but never got to, so this was fun for all of us. Belle was a little nervous about the explosion and it getting all over the place. She'd whisper- I scared. And then ask to do it again when it was done. Silly girl.

Daddy and Bekah building their volcano

Watching the volcano erupt

Now we're just having Christmas celebrations and preparations. JaJa and Tia come on Saturday for the holidays. The countdown has been on. Bekah will not let me forget.

Hope your days are full of joy as you prepare to celebrate too!

Bread and biscuits

2008-12-08T10:28:00.002-06:00

Well, more like biscuits and bread. This past Friday Carolyn, a woman from our church fellowship, taught me and my friend Leigh Ann how to make her homemade biscuits. She also happens to be our pediatrician. She'd brought them with a dinner to us after we had Brie, and Gary and I both agreed they were the best biscuits we'd ever eaten. Come to find out, they are so simple, made of 4 ingredients! Her trick is to not really mix them hardly at all, and to make smaller ones that will cook through without burning. They are oh so yummy! I made 2 dozen myself to bring with us to Gary's grandma's for dinner with a bunch of the family. They turned out perfectly.

Then, yesterday afternoon after church fellowship, my dad taught me how to bake his bread. We-mostly him- made 18 loaves! He was making them for his staff Christmas party, as gifts. Anyway, so yes, my dad is the one who bakes the bread in our family, and it is SO good. He used to make it for the cafe- all their sandwiches were made on homemade bread. Anyway, it was fun to get to learn with him and I'm anxious to try it out by myself. I'm one that has to learn things like that by watching and then doing it myself with them there, and when I feel confident, to try it out myself. I'm ready to test the bread.

That was most of our weekend. Lots of errand running and little things here and there. We have our business Christmas party this Friday night and a friend's 30th birthday party Saturday night that I'm preparing for. Mom and I are going to start bake cookies sometime this week too. And I have my 6 week check up- praise the Lord! Our week is already full of things that need to get done. I am praying that with the busy-ness of the season, we are quick to spend time at Jesus' feet before doing all these things that celebrate Him. If we're missing Him, then what's the point of doing these things to celebrate Him?! I'll have to share some things from the Christmas passages that have been stirring as we've been reading through them for our quiet time and family worship time. I'm still rolling them around. What are some things that are meaningful to you this Christmas season?

Happy Thanksgiving...One Month Old...

2008-12-01T10:09:00.005-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving...a bit late, but with four little girls it's not always easy to get blog time. Anyway, wanted to share a few pics from our first Thanksgiving as a family of six. My sister came up, which Bekah was ecstatic about...we were all glad she was here, but Bekah was REALLY excited. Now she's counting down to Christmas. (thanks Tia, for encouraging that..it will be something I hear numerous times between now and then)

Our family- yes, Gary is way outnumbered.

silly faces with Tia

I wish you could hear the laugh that goes with that face

Sweet happy faces

This pic cracks me up!

Another milestone- Brie turned 1 month old on November 29th! What?! Yes, already a month. Time flies. Brie stays awake often after feedings, and her eyes are so big and bright. She's very alert.

a good week

2008-11-16T19:38:00.003-06:00

Some pictures of the girls:

We've had a great week, getting into the swing of things with 4 little girls. I ended up not having my first full day with all the girls myself until Friday, and all of us survived. We've even been up to having friends come to hang out, and went out to the Igos for dinner too. It was nice to get out of the house! Anyway, God continues to be very gracious to us, with so much help and pouring out of love towards us. It has made the transition go smoothly. We're very grateful to the Lord for His church.

Gary and I have been reading at the last night feeding of the day before letting the baby sleep as long as she'll go. We finished reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love". We HIGHLY recommend it. It is SO what the church needs to hear. So so good. Easy to read, but filled with so much truth and is challenging. Right now we're in the middle of John Piper's new book (one of the new ones) "This Momentary Marriage." So far, it's been excellent. It has sparked much conversation between us, and has been such a refreshment.

I am grateful for this season of our life. It is tiring...and it is challenging at times. Lack of sleep causes the flesh to really "come out." But, it is good. Opportunities to grow, and to learn together. Having the times together of reading, reflecting, praying, and talking of Biblical truths have really helped overcome the flesh. Along with our family and friends who've been so very helpful. Thanks to all of you who've prayed for us. We appreciate more than we can say!

The Past Week (and a half)

2008-11-08T16:26:00.003-06:00

We are slowly adjusting to a family of 6. I can't believe that Brie is already a week and a half old! Gary has been so wonderful during the adjustment. Either he or Mom has been able to be here with me and the girls during the day. We're blessed to be able to have a flexible schedule for Gary to be home. I am a little nervous for my first full day of having all 4 girls by myself-which is this Tuesday. We definitely will not be making any big outtings yet! Here are a few pictures:

A sweet picture of big sister and baby sister cuddling to sleep. Bekah was worn out from all the work.

Helping with her little sisters is a tiresome job!

Belle and Bethany giving sweet kisses.

Brie at 1 week old, just relaxing.

Her cute little scrunched up face!

We actually managed to get a picture of all four of the girls together, sitting, not crying, and somewhat looking in the same direction! Family pictures are going to be fun! But they sure are sweeties!

Vote...

2008-11-03T20:21:00.004-06:00

So, we're not big on the whole political realm thing-probably not as much as we should. However- we are very grateful to live in a country that we can have a voice. So, go vote tomorrow. Today was Brie's due date, and before that, the 4th was her original due date. So here's a picture in honor of voting day. I guess you know how we're voting.

Announcing...

2008-10-30T16:36:00.007-05:00

Aubrianna (Brie) Faith Hirsch

born October 29th, 2008 at 2:24 am

7 lbs, 8 1/2 oz ~ 20 inches

She is FINALLY here! We're so excited! Here's the scoop... I was having contractions and feeling oh so very pregnant. My doctor offered on Friday at my appointment to take me in on Tuesday or Thursday, since he would be out of town over the weekend. We didn't want to induce if she'd just come on her own, but then after talking and praying, decided we really wanted Dr. Watson to deliver. I was feeling sick on Monday and thought maybe it was coming soon. I was disappointed on Tuesday morning when I woke up and realized I made it through the night. I called my doctor to schedule to get in on Thursday. He called me back at 12:30 pm, while my mom and I were at Walmart with all the kids picking up some things. He said- I can schedule you for Thursday, but you could come in this afternoon. No one's here now and I've got a couple women on Thursday already. How about you come in around 2:00pm? I was like- are you kidding?! So I talked to Gary and we decided to go ahead. I did explain that I was standing in Walmart and needed to do a few things and get kids situated before getting there. Now, only WE would run to the post office (had to mail my brother's birthday present...it was already late) and to the bank, etc. We got to the hospital and they gave me the lovely pill around 4:00pm. I love that thing. It isn't like petocin, and it just sent me over the edge with the contractions I was already having. We hung out and labored nicely- as nicely as labor can come. I got my epidural- praise God for modern medicine- and I was able to rest a bit. Little Aubrianna was holding out for her uncle's birthday. Her laboring was pretty uneventful, apart from the roomful of family and friends that hung out with us and enjoyed laughs through it until it was time to push. Here's the best part, and a testimony to the chiropractor- she entered the world in three sets of pushes, lasting only 9 minutes. The longest amount of time was spent waiting on the next contraction to push. I'm telling you people, if you're pregnant, GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. Bethany and Aubrianna's births were both only 3 sets of pushes in 8 & 9 minutes as opposed to Bekah and Belle who were 1 1/2 and 1 hour of pushing. There's my "push"- pun definitely intended. So, now Aubrianna shares my brother Jonathan's birthday...just like Bethany shares my sister Tiffany's birthday. We may need to have one more to share my brother Christian's birthday. ;)

We are blessed beyond measure- so grateful for our new precious little princess. We are thankful for the way God has increased our family. Each little girl is so sweet and so her own person. We can't wait to see how Brie's personality develops. She's already showing to be pretty laid back and observant. We're thankful for a safe delivery, healthy baby, and healing Mommy. Mommy is feeling great. I think I was made to birth babies. :) I am really thankful for my sweet husband, who is just the right kind of man to have 4 little girls. He is so supportive and wonderful during labor and the weeks of adjusting that follow. My family is SO wonderful, helping out however we need. (And we miss JaJa and Tia, being so far away right now!) And we have amazing friends- some who stuck through to the end to see Brie's grand entrance- many who are helping out with food and kids and have expressed willingness to help out however they can. (We miss the Igos being away this week too..but we'll see you after Sunday!) We're overwhelmed with God's graciousness to us through all of you. Lots of love!

Little Aubrianna's first moments

My wonderful doctor, Dr. Watson

Proud Daddy- don't they look alike?!

Proud Grandparents- Poppy and Gammy and Mopa

Mommy and the girls- all FOUR of them!

The Biggest sister, Bekah (She is a little Mommy!)

Big sister Belle, giving a sweet kiss to the "baby" (She LOVES her!)

Big sister Bethany, patting the baby (We're gonna have to watch her!)

Our four precious little princesses!

Catching Up

2008-10-23T10:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm still pregnant. Still waiting. I so didn't think I'd still be carrying this one around inside of me at this point. I am SO ready. In the meantime, I thought I'd catch up on a few posts...

My friend Jennifer tagged me a while back to post some of my hubby's favorite things...so, a few of Gary's favorite things include:

1. ME! :) (which leads to #2...

2. His baby girls

3. Reading/studying good books...his favorite author/speaker is John Piper

4. baseball...watching/playing...which has evolved into playing softball in his middle age

5. food...he thoroughly enjoys the whole experience of eating/savoring a tasty meal

6. fellowship...he likes down time which has become precious to us especially in this exceptionally chaotic season of life

There's a few of his favorite things. (I'm feeling a bit like the Sound of Music here.) He would be included in mine.

Okay, so another friend Melissa wanted us to post our favorite soup recipe, in light of the fall season being here. I think I have many favorite soups. I love the cold weather so I can enjoy a nice warm bowl of soup while wearing a cozy sweater. I just love the different seasons. Anyway, so one of my absolute favorite soup recipes is Pasta Bean Soup, one I found in a Light & Tasty magazine a while back that my parents even made in their cafe while it was open. I promise, it tastes way better than the name. It is SO good, and very nutritious. Just try it.

Pasta Bean Soup:

8 oz small pasta, cooked

2 celery ribs, sliced

2 carrots, sliced

1 medium onion, chopped

1 garlic clove, minced

1 Tbsp olive oil

2 c water

1 can diced tomatoes

1 1/4 c chicken broth

2 tsp basil

1/2 tsp rosemary

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1 can white kidney beans

2 cups shredded fresh spinach (or use frozen- it works just as well)

shredded parmesan cheese

Cook pasta, drain & set aside. Saute celery, carrots, onion & garlic in oil for 5 minutes. Stir in water, tomatoes, broth, basil, rosemary, salt and pepper. Boil. Reduce heat, cover & simmer 10 minutes. Add pasta to veggie mixture. Add beans, heat through. Stir in spinach, cook about 2 minutes (or longer if using frozen). Sprinkle with parmesan cheese for each serving as desired.

Okay, so we did go to the Pumpkin Patch as a family with our homeschool co-op group, and I got some super cute pics of the girls...but I really need to find my cord to load them onto the computer and share them with you. I have to find that thing before the baby gets here! Oh my!

So, that's all for now...I really do hope little bit gets here soon. Pray with us in the waiting!

Settling In

2008-10-19T21:24:00.002-05:00

It feels like we've been through a whirlwind...our new store is open, we are "mostly" moved into our new place...now we are just waiting on Baby. There has been nonstop activity, so much to get done. Just when we think we've got it all, something else comes up that needs to be dealt with. Thank the Lord, His grace is sufficient.

So, now we're just waiting on the next big life change- BABY! Woohoo! Literally, at any time now. Two weeks ago I was having some major contractions, last week- nothingness. It was almost depressing. Then, starting last night around dinner time, I've had them almost nonstop, just sporadic. So, we're hoping soon.

Thursday evening we were blessed with a beautiful baby shower. It was a sweet time. Really. It was a dessert shower. Oh yum. I'm so glad I don't have gestational diabetes. But let me tell you, it got Baby moving for sure. So we got some really wonderful things, like diapers and wipes (I never understood that until having so many babies! Now I love getting them as gifts!)...and cute little clothes and handmade things. It made it all seem real. Up until then, it was still hitting us that we're really having another baby?! And it just wasn't getting through. When I started seeing all the itty bitty clothes and the immensely tiny newborn diapers, I remembered. And now am more mentally prepared. I have gone through the whole freaking out of labor and what I'm about to go through- I hate pain, people. I have to mentally prepare myself before labor that it's going to hurt like nothing else in this world, but that it is not without purpose...and I also thank God for modern meds. But it helps me to just go through the whole accepting that it's going to hurt and be uncomfortable, but that it's going to end and there will be a beautiful baby that will be worth it all when it's done. That helps me to keep focused during labor and not fight the pain. Seriously, I could get into a panic attack if I think on it too much. I have to sit and think on reality and just let God help me overcome that, and then it's all good...not to mention that my hubby and my mom will be there with me to keep reminding me.

That's all. This has been the Hirsch life these days. Lots of craziness...but, then, I'm not sure that it's ever really stopped! Seems like God brings us from one thing to the next. He's good like that.

Hopefully, next post will include some pictures of our newest addition to the family.

Joys of Parenting

2008-09-25T10:27:00.003-05:00

So, in the midst of the chaos, God has given us glimpses of some of the joys of parenting. Gary and I were talking about how sometimes, especially now, when things are so busy and we're so tired, it can be easy to just go through the motions and do our practical parenting duties- like feeding,clothing, bathing, etc- and slack off in others- like discipline- and miss out on the blessings of parenting.

One of the things that is a lot of hard work, but that I'm really enjoying, is the time of home school with Bekah. She just finished reading Charlotte's Web last week, so we had Brenna and Taylor over this past Friday night for a sleep over celebration party. We watched the "real" movie Charlotte's Web, made spider cookies, ate ice cream with spider sprinkles, and made friendship books. It was fun. Bekah had wanted to see the movie, but in our house growing up the rule was- you don't get to see the movie til you read the book. So, we've implemented that in our house too. It was a real motivation for Bekah. She read a chapter a day til it was done and was so pumped up about the celebration. Fun thing was, Taylor was reading it too. Oh, and by the way- doing Charlotte's Web during the fall is PERFECT. Lots of spider stuff out for Halloween.

The other night I was really tired by the end of the day, just from the regular duties of life. I sat in the bathroom while the three girls were all in the bathtub, and got to enjoy the three of them being very silly. We just laughed at them, and I thanked God for our beautiful girls that have a carefree life, are healthy, and are free to just be kids.

After bath time, we gathered in the living room for family worship time. I sat there and thanked God through tears for the reminder of why we do the hard things with our kids, even when we're as exhausted as we are. We were singing the Doxology, and all three of them were swaying back and forth, singing, or at least attempting to, clapping hands with smiles on their faces. I was so thankful for that little reminder, cause there are moments when in my flesh, I'd like to skip on the discipline cause I'm so tired and do I really have to deal with that AGAIN???...or skip on family worship time cause I'm too tired and just want them to go to sleep and have a moment of quiet...or skip on spending that extra moment and effort to explain to Bekah what she just asked about...etc. I was thankful for the reminder that God gives the strength to die to myself and do the better thing for the glory of God, the good of others- and for our joy.

Home Matters...both of them

2008-09-22T12:01:00.003-05:00

Well, today is the official opening day of our second store, Home Matters, in West Plains. It is very exciting! We're so thankful to the Lord for this opportunity to serve Him with another store. It's already been a source of provision for some families and it has been an opportunity for us to be loved on by His church as so many of our friends have helped us in getting the store up and going.

Home matters...well, this has been the main matter going on in this home. The store, that is. We have had some very trying times these last couple of months, but the huge stress factors have been within the last few weeks. Until you've done it, I don't think you can prepare for what it entails to open a store. I mean, it seems pretty simple, but there's so much paperwork, so many decisions to make, things to take care of, PLUS having to stock the store. So within the Hirsch home, this has pretty much consumed our every waking moment...besides maintaining the store we already have.

So last week we had my sister Tiffany and her boyfriend (how weird is that?!) Daniel here for the week as evacuees from Hurricane Ike. Everyone in Houston was front on our minds in the midst of that. My brother Jonathan stayed in Houston with his girlfriend Christina and her grandmother. I was very concerned about them. Then, a close family friend had quadruple bypass surgery. And we were told that my in-laws divorce was officially in process, with papers being served on Wednesday. It was almost too much in the midst of being very pregnant, caring for 3 children, and home schooling while opening a new store. At one point, I told God-and Gary- if one more person requires anything else of me, I am going to lose it. It was all we could do just to "keep up." Physically and emotionally drained.

Thankfully, my husband has been protecting his family and we've been careful to plan a late night of work with the next day more low key. And yesterday was a WONDERFUL Sabbath day, full of nothingness. We got to rest, physically, and then worship with our fellowship, and then prepare for the next week and plan out the next month.

Oh yeah, and we're moving to West Plains and having a baby next month. Talk about overload! That's why I haven't even thought about the move yet. How can I? I was getting so tired of everyone asking when we're moving. It makes me want to cry. It's like, I can't even go there yet. I'm just trying to maintain, let alone think about the next thing. But, now we're there. The store is open. We can now move, or at least think about it. :) So yeah, that's our next couple of weeks- packing up and moving to West Plains. God has provided a great house for us through friends who are in Australia for a year working and needed someone to live in their house while they're gone for the year. So we get to move to West Plains and make life simpler instead of driving back and forth every day. Yeah! Can I tell you how excited I am that I will be able to do my grocery shopping without making a day trip of it?! Praise the Lord!!!

And then we'll have our fourth baby girl. I am so not prepared mentally or practically. This poor child. I'm asking God to get me ready for labor and sleepless nights. Maybe He already has. :) I so need to get some warm clothes for her. We have most baby necessities, being that she'll be the fourth girl, but this poor child will not be able to wear any of her sister's clothing. They were all born in the warmer months. Dern. We may have to find some cute clothes for her to wear. Shopping therapy?! Hhhmmm....

Well, so there you have it. The Hirsch family's last few months. If you think of it, say a prayer for us. We so want to glorify God's name in the midst of it all. He's the only reason we're still all in one piece so far! He is so good to us.

9/11...and Other Things...How Quickly We Forget

2008-09-11T21:09:00.003-05:00

It is amazing to me how such monumental things happen, like 9/11, things that completely shake our world, change it forever, and we forget. Just like that. We go on like it never happened. Unless, of course, the affect it had on us was very personal. I am struck with how very self centered we are, myself included...and how very immediate we are. Like people who think- it was 7 years ago, get over it. Seven years doesn't bring back the dead.

What happened 7 years ago today was horrendous. The evidence of evil in the heart of man. Not just specific men. EVERY man/woman. In all of us. These are the things we are capable of without God as ruler of our hearts.

And now, 7 years later, most of us didn't even think about it. We were busy with our day, getting our list done. Unless you lost someone in it and the affects are so close to home that it still makes your heart ache.

I don't want to forget. I want to ache with those who are hurting. I want to mourn for the reality of sin and what that makes us capable of. I want to hurt with the hurting who are still trying to overcome unforgiveness.

Not just 9/11. I want to remember others who may have gone through other hurts that I may or may not have experienced for myself. To know that they have been affected by something and it has changed them dramatically. Haven't we all been through something that has come close to devastating us? The loss of someone close, maybe a husband/wife, or a child; enduring abuse of any kind; the heartache of betrayal; the pain of watching someone you love hurt deeply.

I know what it is to be healed by The Healer through things that could have crippled me in this life. I know the Peace that comes in only Christ. I want others to know the Hope that is found in Him that makes it possible to go on another day. I want to love people. Genuinely. Deeply.

God, grant your people a love for you that pours out on others. Help us to love each other. To hurt with, to take on each other's burdens, to share in this life, to remember. And to point to You, our only source of Hope.

Better is One Day?!

2008-09-04T10:55:00.002-05:00

Gary and I are reading through Psalms together...well, not together, just simutaneously for our daily readings...it helps with accountability and to be able to talk about it together. Anyway, so today is Psalm 84. Just read verses 1 & 2:

"How LOVELY is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!

My soul LONGS, yes FAINTS

for the courts of the LORD;

my HEART and my FLESH SING FOR JOY

to the living God."

Most of us have sung these words to the Passion song, Better is One Day. I remember how much this Psalm, and consequently, the song (since it is almost word for word), meant to me at the time it came out. God used it to burn that truth on my heart. Talk about conviction. I was single at the time and used to think about- better is one day in your courts than a thousand husbands. Yeah, that was my idol at the time. I wanted a man. Well, not just any man, a Godly, loving, worth it man. And continually God was reminding me that He is better. That is He worth more.

And today, I have that man. I have a wonderful, Godly husband. And today I can still read these words and sing that song with the same conviction, putting the most valuable thing to me on this earth on the altar. But this morning, in this season, the words of the first two verses are what stings, what we've been wrestling with, what we've been questioning in the "church" these days.

Who can say these words and really MEAN IT?! I mean, really. I'm all about being truthful. Brutally honest. God is truth. I want God. Thus, I have to be real. And real is this- on most days, at most times, I CANNOT say in complete, full, naked truth that my soul LONGS and FAINTS for the presence of God, that my HEART and my FLESH sing for joy to Him. Most days, I'm longing for a beer, and fainting for lack of sleep. Most days my heart and my flesh want to put someone in their place. Reality check. I need Jesus! Yes, I'm saved. I "have" Jesus. I am regenerate. I have tasted and seen, experienced His goodness, and cannot go back. The blinders have been taken off, by the grace of God, I can see. And like it says in Colossians 2- as I have received, I must walk. TODAY, as I "do life", I still cling to the grace of God to change my heart and keep me from just being a "do gooder" and religious phony. I hate those. Don't you? I can't stand people who use God and religion as a crutch. You know what I mean. They don't really want God, they want everything else He gives. Unfortunately, many times, that means I'm not liking myself.

So, today, pray with me that God would continue to pour out His grace and make us so in love with HIM. That His value would be so treasured in our hearts, that even if for just a moment today, we would long, faint for Him. That'd we'd so desire Him, we'd be overwhelmed with joy and just have to sing in spontaneous praise, regardless of the sound. :) I so want to do this life for His glory, but not with some religious, stuffy purposefulness. Yes, there's times that we have to be disciplined- which that too is a grace of God. Tools of grace. I'm not going to stop having my daily readings just cause I don't "feel" like it. But He is God. He deserves SO much more than just our religious duty. He is so WORTH our affections. Join me in asking Him to help us see Him as He is so that we'll really, really, genuinely LOVE HIM- with heart, soul, mind, and strength. The all encompassing. Funny, how we can't even obey the "greatest commandment" without Him. He's so about His glory. And that just proves how worth it He is. What an amazing God!

Happy Birthday, My Love!

2008-08-26T08:56:00.002-05:00

Today is my husband's birthday. I am SO extremely grateful for him, I don't think I can even express it. Words don't do enough. He is not perfect. But, he is mine. :) I have found that with my soul satisfied in Christ, I am even more grateful for the gift of my husband. Today I celebrate the life God has given him, and that I get to share that with him. I'm so glad I get to "do life" most closely with him. He is a man of God, desiring His glory before anything else, and is so real in the struggle. He is gentle, kind, patient (Oh, so VERY patient!), hard working, romantic...so many things that I appreciate. Happy Birthday, my sweet man! I love you!

Bethany's 1st Birthday Party Pics

2008-08-17T00:14:00.005-05:00

Here are some of Bethany's "1st Summer Garden Party" pics:

Her sweet happy face!

Sitting pretty

I think she was laughing at our crazy attempts to get her to smile.

The Birthday girls- Bethany's 1st, Tiffany's 19th- fun sharing a birthday with your aunt!

The Birthday girl with her Mopa

What's a Summer Garden party without a bug hunt? So cute- the kids decorated their bug catchers with stickers and then went and "caught bugs" that we'd hid in the yard. Max had fun!

Sydney isn't so sure about those bugs...

Once Belle figured out what we were doing, she caught on and was pretty excited about her bugs!

Playing pin the butterfly on the flower

Bekah requested that Tia and JaJa play too...and they didn't seem to mind joining in the fun!

Bethany enjoying her first piece of birthday cake!

Happy 1st Birthday, Bethany Hope!

2008-08-16T09:47:00.002-05:00

Our baby girl is 1 today. It has flown by so fast. She is now officially mobile, walking more than she is crawling. It has been a fast year of her growing, learning, and accomplishing all those "firsts" that are so memorable.

Bethany Hope- Bethany is a city mentioned in the Bible numerous times that is a place where many experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit. Lots of supernatural things happened there, and that's why we named you Bethany. We want you to be a place of God's dwelling, where His Spirit works and moves and is evident. Hope is what flowed from Grace and Joy, your sisters middle names- when we receive God's Grace, there is much Joy, and that gives us Hope. We want your hope to stem from our only source of true Hope, Jesus.

You definitely look a lot like your Daddy. It's like seeing him if he was a girl. :) And you love your Daddy tons, too. You prefer to be held by him and your eyes light up when you see him. We love your facial expressions, especially when you scrunch your face up and pucker up your lips. It's the cutest. And Daddy taught you this "growl". You will chase people and roar at them when you're getting them. It cracks us up.

You share your birthday with your Aunt Tiffany, which is so fun. So today we'll celebrate together with family, and friends who are like family, those who have shared in your first year, and we pray, your next years. Daddy and Mommy have lots of accountability to grow you in the Lord, and for that we are grateful.

We love you, little Princess. Happy Birthday!

Call Us Rednecks...

2008-08-08T09:47:00.007-05:00

But we took our first official family vacation this past Sunday through Tuesday to...BRANSON. Yes, people, Branson, home of the most stage shows and cheesy things you may ever see in your life. However- it was SO FUN.

Here's the deal: We've got so much going on (to be revealed in detail at a later time) that we knew we had to get away as a family before things started being put into place. Once the ball gets rolling on these things, there will be no time for a family getaway. Plus, baby #4 comes in late October/early November, then the holidays- there will be no vacations then.

So, we left on Sunday morning to Springfield to visit with our wonderful friends, Todd and Heather and their crew. We were able to go to their church service where Todd just recently took a position as youth minister/music leader, then went out to eat and hung out at their house for the afternoon. As we pulled out of the driveway, Gary said- well, I'm refreshed, ready to go back home. That's how we usually feel after spending time with them. It's like a breathe of fresh air. God definitely uses them to encourage us.

We headed to Branson and checked out the Branson Landing, watched the fire/water show and ate dinner. Monday and Tuesday we went to Silver Dollar City. My husband, this prego, three girls, in 102 degree weather, walking the hills and pavement of SDC. Normally, I'd call this cruel. However, thanks to 1 1/2 cases of water and the sprinklers and misters the park had set up everywhere, and the best $1 I've ever spent on 2 little dorky hand held fans- it wasn't that bad. Really! I think God was being gracious. We found out when we got back that the news was there on Monday doing a little blurb on how hot it was at SDC and the numbers being down, etc. Funny. Anyway, so since it was Kids Fest, we got to cool off while seeing shows- VeggieTales (so cute!), Circus on Ice (way amazing!) and a Magic Show (baffling!). Bekah loved them all. We also road the train, which Belle was so excited about, she must've yelled "CHOO CHOO" a dozen times. We got to watch a man make a blown glass bowl, which at the end he actually dropped and Bekah was so sad; a women making pottery; and a women at Becca's house doing loom work. It was so fun. I also got to shop at the Branson Landing and at the Tanger Outlet a bit. That's always a good trip for me.

I must say, though it was short, it was a wonderful time together. We'd never gone away somewhere new by ourselves. All our "vacations" have been to visit people or combined with a business trip. It was fun to all bunk in a hotel room and be together. Nothing like family worship time all on a bed in a hotel room. I hope there will be many more times like these for our family. I remember my own family vacations with my family and all the happy memories of them. I want our kids to have the every day moments of us being together and growing together, but that being what fosters times of actually wanting to get away as a family to spend time with "just us."

Here are some pictures of the trip:

The Wallace/Hirsch crew- we can open our own daycare. :)

The water/fire show at Branson Landing- Belle kept saying "WaWa!"

One of the many cute little houses when you first enter Silver Dollar City- they really wanted to play in it!

Play "CHOO CHOO"!

Okay, so Gary thinks this picture is so wrong- can you see Bekah on the elephant? No. It looks like he's riding it all by himself, having a great 'ole time. I think it's hilarious.

All of us in front of "Becca's House"- Bekah thought that was pretty cool.

Playing at "the Wharf" at Branson Landing

Mommy & the girls on the REAL CHOO CHOO!!!

The huge rocking chair in the Lumberjack area- too cute!

Bekah, still all smiles at the end of two fun filled, HOT, long days at SDC- though not without a few little reminders of our need for Jesus! :)

The two little ones had enough! It was time to head home! What a great time!

100 Days and Counting Down

2008-07-26T10:36:00.002-05:00

Woohoo! Looking at our little "Hirsch Baby" ticker to the right, you will see that today is the mark of 100 days! If you're reading this after today, it's UNDER 100 days! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Baby Girl #4 will arrive soon. It will go by quickly, no doubt, with all the things going on around us. It's funny how God works- just when we think things will start to simmer down, He's got something else He's working into our lives. So much fun! Life in Christ is NEVER boring, that's for sure. Sometimes, I'm looking forward to a "boring" day. :)

Pray for us as we prepare for our next little blessing, and God works out a bunch of other things on our behalf for His name.

A Funny 6 Year Old

2008-07-13T22:23:00.002-05:00

So, today was a nice Sabbath day. We went to fellowship, then came home and while the two little ones napped, Gary, Bekah and I watched a movie til the girls woke up. We were able to rest and get some things done around the house. The girls all played outside while I trimmed the hedges and Gary mowed, then we just did yard work and odds and ends around the house. After the babies went to bed, we played Hullabaloo and then had dessert while playing Yahtzee together.

Bekah asked for sprinkles on her ice cream, so she got them out and put some in the lid of the jar to sprinkle on her ice cream, but accidentally spilled them all over the floor. We were like, whoops...now they have to be picked up. She proceeded to get down and pick them up one by one and then said..."You know, I could use some help here. And God really likes when people help each other." Gary and I just busted out laughing...while helping her clean them up, of course. Stinking funny.

That was a nice way to end the day. Especially after having some rough inner battles with things. I was an emotional mess this morning...nothing bad going on, just very pregnant and overwhelmed. Well, I don't even know if I can explain it. Except that mix hormones with a very already passionate personality and I just cry sometimes. Really, there are some very important things that I'm burdened about that I shared with Gary last night til the wee hours of the morning that I had on my heart on the way to fellowship this morning. We talked more about them on the way there, then of course, people ask how you are, and...yeah. Then you hear about 6 week old babies diagnosed with cancer and people struggling with different things during prayer requests that just sends you over the edge to a big sobbing mess. Sometimes, like this morning, I just really wanted Jesus to come take us home. Or at least me. But it's okay. He's sovereign. So I'll be okay. As long as I run to Him. Thankfully, a friend sat and just listened to me and my concerns and my attempt to explain the tears and she committed to praying this week. It's so good of God to give us the Church.

There's much going on within my heart and mind that I don't have the time or energy to type out right now...but maybe in snippets. I'll share them as words come. In the meantime, pray with me. And watch God do His thing. He is so good!

Happy 4th of July!

2008-07-05T10:32:00.004-05:00

Ffffrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeedddoommmmmm!!!!!!! (said in the most Braveheart way possible) That's what we celebrated on the 4th, at our home, with close to 60 of our family and friends. It was bittersweet for me, and I got kinda emotional during the afternoon preparing for the party, as I realized that this may be the final big party we host in this home. (more to come on that later) It's not that the house itself is what I treasure, but the house represents a LOT of God's work within our lives this past 4 1/2 years. I really need to post on this...there is so much I've been wanting to say, but cannot think how to condense it all into words. I promise, I will post on this next week.

So back to the party...We had a good time of fellowship, yummy food, reflecting on true freedom, and of course, fireworks. Gary prepared a little sharing time on what freedom really means, why we celebrate as christians- freedom in Christ, being set free from the bondage of slavery, and free to serve Him. As well as the appreciation of those who sacrifice and serve our country to preserve the freedom we have in the US to worship freely.

We have a friend who re-enlisted in the National Guard to go into officer training. He has a wife and three children. He's currently in the States receiving training that is apparently pretty tough. He's gone for like 9-10 weeks for the first phase, and has two more phases after this to complete his training. He's not overseas, but to see the sacrifice of the whole family in just this amount of time has made us much more aware of what those who serve in the military go through. It is tough. Everyone brought snacks for a care package to send to him- we hope it will lift his spirits to know that we're praying for him.

So, this 4th of July, Gary and I are grateful for the freedom we have in Christ. There's a renewed sense of gratefulness and joy in the God who has enabled us this freedom. We are humbled to know that there are those who serve our family with great sacrifice to preserve the freedoms we enjoy, and often take for granted, in this country. We are made aware of our other brothers and sisters in Christ around the world who do not have the same freedoms. And we are made to pray. To not be so self centered, consumed with just our "little world", but again, to seek the Lord and allow His Spirit to move us to acts of love in His name. Freedom!

Adam's care package:

The girls in their red, white, and blue:

Belle enjoyed the watermelon:

Gary sharing on true freedom:

Some of the kids making red, white, and blue prayer bracelets:

The annual picture with the flag cake (I left it in the oven too long and it got dried out. I may have to make another one for us to try again!):

Friends, old and new

2008-07-02T09:21:00.004-05:00

This past weekend, we had a nice, though short, visit from some of our friends from Houston. They were coming in for their daughter-in-laws family reunion in Arkansas, so since they were so close, they came for an extra day to visit. It was nice to get to see them, even if only for a little while. We enjoyed dinner all together with my parents and the Igos on Saturday night. Of course, afterward, the men were piddling around, and Fred, having been in a vehicle for so long, just HAD to do some work. So, they cleaned out our gutters and took the antenna off of the roof, which was on our list of things to do. Fred and Karen were a part of the youth ministry at Spring Woods while we ministered there, and their son Shaun was in the youth group. Shaun wasn't able to come, but Chris and his wife Tori, who is pregnant and due only 1 day after me with their 1st baby, came and it was neat to get to know them. Karen's mom Ruby, is a sweet lady, so funny and has a lot of wisdom. We're so grateful for them, and for the reminder of what God did in our life through that time at Spring Woods. Every time we look back at what God has done, it encourages us for what is next, whatever that may be!

Karen, Fred, Ruby, Chris, Tori and baby :)

The pregnant women, only 1 day apart in due date

Hirsch Wordle, January-June 2008

2008-06-22T21:27:00.005-05:00

Here's a cool little thing to do...my friend Amber had it on her blog, so I did it for our blog too. It's from the very first blog we posted til now, basically January through June. It's a copy and paste, with the words sized in accordance to the usage. It's pretty cool. You can click on it to see it larger. Here's ours:

And the next Baby Hirsch is...

2008-06-20T23:18:00.004-05:00

another little princess! Yes, we found out today that we are having another little girl!

So, being that we have to be tortured for our ultrasounds- full bladder, ready to explode, waiting to be seen, baby kicking bladder, having to move and actually walk to the table while praying that you don't sneeze and totally lose all contents of bladder in the process- well, today, my husband got to actually see how much this woman's bladder holds. I drank my two bottles of water. I was getting up to go to the bathroom, cause we'd been waiting for like 30-45 minutes already, and I was in serious pain, when she came up to get us. I get through the door and tell the ultrasound tech- there can be no small talk, I am seriously hurting here. So she's gracious enough to speed the process up and get going. She proceeds to put the wand on my belly and let's out a- oh my gosh!- and of course, Gary is like, what?! Are there twins?! (now wouldn't THAT be fun!) And she told him- no, I have never seen a bladder this big on a pregnant woman. And then proceeds to give her apologizes to me and hurries to get the full bladder pics and, praise be to God, let me go empty it before finishing. So now there is proof that I really am not whining or being wimpy when I finally DO have to go to the bathroom. :)

Anyway, so this baby...I am scared. She would not cooperate. She is breech (no big deal, Belle & Bethany were up til the week before delivery), but it doesn't give the best shot at taking a peek. And she had her heel right between her legs. Then, the tech said that she'd just go ahead and take the pics and measurements of the other parts she needed and try to see if she'd move at some point to see. Well, she was trying to get pics of a certain thing, and the baby would move. The tech would move the wand, get the area she needed, and baby would move again. Little booger. Gary says this is going to be another momma's personality baby. :) Lord, have mercy!

One cute thing we got to see during the process was her yawning. We could see her mouth open up and close. It was sweet. It was like she was mocking us. This is taking so long...aaaaauuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh*yawn* Funny.

But, finally she quickly moved her foot and you could see the clear markings of a baby girl. Yes, Gary is WAY out numbered. Pray for him. :) He is excited. And makes a wonderful daddy to sweet little girls.

On a more serious note, I was reminded again of God's sovereignty and His hand. Earlier this week I ran across Angie Smith's blog. If you haven't heard her story, be blessed in seeing God use pain for the glory of His name and check out her blog at audreycaroline.blogspot.com when you have some free moments and a box of tissues. Nothing extraordinary about her but the grace of God in her life. Part of her story includes finding out at her 20 week ultrasound/check up that their baby girl Audrey Caroline was not going to live. She had major complications that was going to keep her from living more than a few hours. Because of reading this whole story (every single blog in one late night) right before my own 20 week ultrasound, I found myself before God, again laying down my "Isaac" and being reminded of what I treasure more than even this precious life within my womb. More than my most prized possession on this earth, my husband. I was reminded that God is good, regardless of what He chooses to give or take away. And again I was reminded to offer it back up to Him for His glory, and however He wants to reveal His glory. Even if that meant some "horrible" news at this 20 week ultrasound about the health and well being of our baby. I am grateful for how gracious God is to give me these reminders to keep my heart in check. The reality is, I didn't know it was all going to be fine. The reality is, He has every right to glorify Himself however He desires within our life. Even if it's not what I would ideally choose. The reality is, He is God. And that is enough. What a gracious God.

Baby Girl #4- we love you and are praying that your whole life- and eventual death- would continually remind those around you that God is enough. That even in the midst of hard things, hurtful things, and yes, joyful things, we would keep faith. Faith in a holy, gracious God that is wholly enough. Yes, your name will include Faith. We know that. :)

Praising the Father for Fathers

2008-06-16T11:02:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was Father's Day...and we celebrated after fellowship at a family friend's house, a combined celebration of Father's Day and my Dad's birthday which is on Wednesday. I wanted to spend a moment to thank God, my heavenly Father, for the ways He's manifested Himself through the different fathers in my life.

First, He is the ultimate Father. Abba. Daddy. More than just the disciplinarian- though He is VERY that too...He is also the one that comforts me in pain and that I feel secure with in the midst of it. He is very near. My comfort. My strength. The One who can do anything.

I've seen Him through these particular "fathers" in my own life:

1) My biological father- There is much pain and hurt represented there, but because of him, I ran to other things for a source of love, which then pointed me to my heavenly Father who has and continues to heal those hurts and uses them for His glory, my good, and the edification of His church. I am grateful for how God has chosen to use him in my life.

2) My step-dad- My Daddy, not always perfect, far from it, but used to show me the realities of a life that desires God and struggles through the flesh and gets to experience Him regardless. He probably has no idea how much Gary and I have learned because of him- only because, some of the learning wasn't "purposed."

3) My husband- My love, the Daddy to my children. He is SO wonderful, I don't even know what to say. He's not Jesus. Cannot and will never satisfy my heart. But because of our marriage, I am drawn to the One who does. He's so...mine. Perfect for me. The weird things, the annoying things, the hysterical things, the loving things- all designed to match mine and cause me to see God more. He's so patient with me, loving, teaches me much through the way he lives. He's such a wonderful daddy too. Comes home from a long day at work and doesn't retreat, but dies to self and gives of himself to me and to our girls, laughing, playing, doing work around the house. He is strong, firm, but so gentle, sensitive. Walks in truth. Stands for truth, even if alone. A sweet man with a peculiar sense of humor. He can make me laugh like no other. And cry like no other. And think like no other. I praise God for Him.

4) My father-in-law- Okay, can you say country man? Yes, this self professed "city girl" has a farmer of a father-in-law, and we get along very well. He needs a personal relationship with the Lord- regeneration- and that is what we pray. In these last couple of years, I have appreciated getting to know him more personally as we've both opened up and shared more with each other. He has definitely been used to refine me- his "I'll be there in about 5 minutes" is usually at least an hour later- but he's so friendly, funny, a hard worker, and wants to help others. He's got a lot of wisdom in the experiences of life he's been through. I am grateful to the Lord for him.

Thank you, Father, for these men whom you've used to show me glimpses of You. Thank you for the ways you choose to reveal Yourself. They are gifts. Not all are always pleasant, but each does cause me to see more of you. And that is our desire. Whatever the cost, whatever...be our Treasure.

Seeing God in the Every Day

2008-06-13T09:08:00.002-05:00

So, life continues in the Hirsch home, as the busy-ness dies down just a little. Gary was gone on a business trip from Sunday afternoon til Tuesday evening, so we stayed out at my parent's house. We had a good time with Poppy and Gammy, Tia and ChiChi. Even got to go to the pool a couple times earlier this week, and met the Igos there. These past couple of days we've just been hanging around the house, getting house work done and errands run.

In the midst of the "every day" things, I've enjoyed getting to actually ENJOY my children, observing them a little closer and cherishing the moments that I know will seem so long ago in just a short time. I'm even beginning to enjoy being pregnant. And THAT is a miracle, people! I HATE pregnancy. I LOVE the babies, but I am not one that enjoys the whole getting fat, stretch marks, feeling sick to my stomach, more tired than I've ever felt, etc...but, that's not the case in this pregnancy anymore, well, besides the fatness and stretch marks. :) Really, I think this is the best I've felt during pregnancy so far. Gary jokes- see, by the end of them all, you won't even be able to tell that you're pregnant...ha.

Anyway, so Gary usually prays with Bekah at bedtime. They have their whole little ritual thing, and it kinda gets messed up when he's gone. While he was gone, I was praying with her and she asked God to please keep Daddy safe and bring him home to us safely. When he got home, she was praying with him and thanked God for bringing him home safely. Gary prayed out loud then, and asked God for strength for the next day at work, to unload the trailer. After he'd said amen, Bekah looked at him funny and said- Daddy, why'd you pray that? He told her- cause Daddy's really tired from the trip and doesn't feel like unloading the trailer tomorrow. She said- oh, okay. So, the next morning at breakfast, after thanking God for the food, she prayed for Daddy for strength. He got home and she asked him right away how his day went and if he got the trailer unloaded. He told her- half way. (this is a 24 ft trailer loaded from top to bottom) So the next day, which was yesterday, she prayed for him again at breakfast, that God would give him the strength the get the trailer all unloaded. Last night she asked him again how it went at work and if he got the trailer done. He said- yes! She was so excited and at dinner she thanked God for giving Daddy the strength to get the trailer all unloaded. And my eyes welled up with tears. Something so simple, and so necessary. What is even better is that two nights ago, after the kids were in bed, Gary and I were looking through bills, at the work schedule, etc., and were a bit stressed about things. There is a lot going on within the business right now, and it seems like there is just so much within our life as a whole, that there isn't enough time to get everything done that HAS TO get done even. We argued a little, but came to the point of just talking through things. We prayed together and then looked at it all again. It was really good, and we went to bed with not everything figured out, but confident God will work it out. Tired, but resting in the strength God provides. The next day, God answered a very specific prayer of Gary's, which was very encouraging, and then that evening is when Bekah told him she'd prayed for him and then thanked God at dinner for giving Daddy strength. It blessed my heart to watch our daughter minister to the heart of her Daddy, my love, without even purposing or knowing that she was. She was just doing what she knows to do. And she has no idea just how much of a blessing that was to us both.

That's what I think God wants us to be like. Not so much "purposing" to bless others, as much as walking in Spirit and truth, doing "what we know to do". The blessings to others will come as an overflowing of doing what we're supposed to be doing, walking in obedience to Him. And we might not even know when we bless others. Life in the Spirit isn't dutiful. It's delight. It's doing what we know we're supposed to be doing, but actually ENJOYING doing it. That's why it's Spirit life. Cause we can't make ourselves LIKE it. So, Holy Spirit, would you please pour yourself out today on your church? Cause us to walk in obedience and overflow to others around us. Make us aware of opportunities to love on others and enjoy fulfilling those acts of love. Glorify your name.

Belle's Fish Party

2008-06-07T23:29:00.005-05:00

Tonight was Belle's fish and bubbles party. She really likes fish, and she really likes bubbles. I wanted to do a princess Belle party, but Bekah convinced me that Belle REALLY likes fish and bubbles, so we did that instead. I'm glad. It was low key, with just a few families, since many were sick or just unable to come. That was kinda nice for me. Anyway, it was fun to let the kids play- we did have the sprinkler and slip 'n slide, so they had a blast with that. And we got to visit with friends, which we always love.

Belle is SO funny. Every time she's received a gift, she takes her time opening it, peeling every last bit of paper piece by piece (oh the patience!) before she'll even attempt to open it. And any clothing she gets, she immediately holds up to her and then tries to put on by herself. The independence of a two year old is so cute at times. Here are some pictures of Belle's birthday festivities:

The girls at the play place at the mall in Jonesboro, on Belle's birthday. The forecast called for rain, so my mom and I took the girls out to shop and spend the day together in Jonesboro.

Belle, the birthday girl, riding a "turtle".

Here she is trying on one of her new outfits. It was SO funny!

Bethany, all smiles, during Belle's birthday party.

Bekah with Taylor and Brenna enjoying the water fun.

The slip 'n slide!

Like father, like daughter- Tim and baby Kara- with matching heads!

The birthday cupcakes

Max thoroughly enjoying the birthday cupcakes. :)

Isabelle Joy

2008-06-06T23:10:00.003-05:00

Our little Isabelle Joy turned 2 today. Oh my, and 2 she is... she is so fun. Isabelle means dedicated to God, and that we definitely pray, that her entire life would be about Him. And Joy is fitting for her, as she is such a joyful little girl- very expressive. Her personality is explosive. I wonder where she got that from?! :)

We were reminiscing today about her birth and how much joy it brought to our hearts as God brought healing full circle from the pregnancy we miscarried before her. I distinctly remember being in Houston, visiting, back at First Baptist in the worship center where Gary and I were married, holding her as we sang "Blessed be Your Name." Do I need to tell you I was bawling, my heart full of joy and overwhelmed with God's graciousness to us in bringing healing, revealing Himself, and choosing to bless us with another baby I was holding in my arms?! Oh my! What a gracious God.

So today, our little Isabelle Joy, we want to tell you that we love you. You certainly have been used by God to bring joy to our hearts, and we pray that you'd be a tool to point others to the true source of joy with your expressive personality. We so desire for you to be wholly God's, convinced of who He is. We know that with your personality, once you're convinced, there will be no one who can tell you otherwise. :) We pray God's mercy that He would turn your little heart to Him, that you'd be convinced of the Truth, and know the joy that is found only in Him.

Happy Birthday, Princess Belle!

I heart credit card rewards

2008-06-05T23:17:00.004-05:00

Okay, so we've been wanting to get a new camera for a while now, but it's not exactly in the budget. Well, as I was browsing our credit card reward possibilities, I saw a camera that would work for us. It's not the most elaborate or whatever, but it's decent, and definitely a lot faster than the camera we have now. We saved our credit card rewards and I cashed them in for our new camera- it arrived this past week, and I'm so excited!!! We'll even have it for Belle's birthday party- yeah! (She's the main reason we need a faster one- the 2 year old that is constantly on the go!) Anyway, so today I took a few pics of the girls...

This Past Weekend

2008-06-05T11:50:00.004-05:00

So, this past weekend I got adventurous and brave (or went crazy). These past couple of months we've been involved with a house church start here in our area. A few of the men (5 of them) went to Kansas City together to visit another house church to get some info, ask questions, and just get some wisdom from others who are older, more experienced, and reputable.

Anyway, so since we were home alone with our children, me and two other women whose husbands were gone decided to take a trip. I went back and forth debating, but in the end, decided this may not happen often, and I really didn't want to be a party pooper. So, this prego momma loaded up herself, three girls, and all our gear for a weekend getaway. I'm so glad we did. It was a good time of just hanging out with Robin and Paige and their kids. Robin and I traveled together, and met up with Paige, her mom, sister, and nephew. Here are some pictures of the fun weekend getaway.

The bigger kids in a "boat" at the play place at the mall. After a long drive and lunch, they needed to get out their energy. And, it was great after a lot of shopping too. They did SO well for how much shopping we did. And yes, those are twin girls, Ellie & Allie. Belle was so funny, looking at them back and forth, not so sure. They all had a great time together.

I found a nice hotel-nicer than the guys stayed in! :) - and this table was part of the suite. The girls got to color after their baths. They were still all smiles after a long day and being up way past bedtime.

After hitting the outlet mall in Branson and lunch, we went to the Butterfly Palace. We watched a 3D movie on butterflies, that was kinda funny at times (especially during the explaining of how they recreate, and when in the end, the butterfly was eaten. Robin was telling the butterfly to fly away...) Bekah was concerned that a ton of butterflies were going to swarm and attack her. It was a bit comical.

You can tell in this group shot that Belle was ready for her nap...and Bekah was nervous of a butterfly touching her, which cracks me up, since she catches them. I think it was the idea of a whole bunch of them at once.

Just a pretty picture of some butterflies. I had no idea how many different kinds of butterflies there are. There were some very pretty ones. It's amazing how our Creator has designed things.

The weekend went pretty well. It was my first attempt at taking the girls out by myself (without Gary or my Mom) for anything other than our normal routine. Other than my frustrating time of trying to put up our pack n play (the new one we're using as Bethany's "bed" for right now, which hadn't been taken down in a while)- thank God for Melissa, who I called to talk me through some ideas. She had set it up at my baby shower, so I thought she'd remember. It ended up being comical- but I DID finally get that thing figured out, after at least 30 minutes of trying. Other than that, the weekend was smooth. And fun. A good time of just being together, and building relationships. I'm looking forward to more times like that. Good stuff.

Today

2008-06-04T08:47:00.002-05:00

Today, four years ago, we experienced the loss of a precious baby. I was two days shy of being 14 weeks pregnant. It was physically and emotionally painful, but God was so good to us during that time. He is Comforter, and Peace. I remember, on the way to the hospital, realizing that there was music playing (it was the cd we'd had in there) and as I slowly heard the words and what was being sung, I knew God was very present, near, and all would be okay in the end. It was Matt Redmon's "Blessed be Your Name"- Blessed be the Name of the Lord, blessed be Your name. You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name.

And now, four years later, we have two more beautiful girls added to our one from then, and another on the way to add to our family. The beautiful full circle thing for us is that Belle's birthday is in two days. She was born two years and two days after that loss. And, as God would have it, Belle was delivered by the same doctor who had been there at the hospital during the miscarriage. The one who performed the d and c two years later delivered our next baby. It was a sweet time of healing for us. And an awesome opportunity to share with him how God used him in that process of healing.

So, Lord, as we girls go out and enjoy the day, I am SO thankful for my sweet babies! Thank you for your nearness, in joy and in pain. Blessed be Your name!

This is what a Rainbow Tea Party looks like

2008-05-24T11:19:00.005-05:00

No, we are not celebrating anyone coming out of the closet...just our 6 year old's birthday who REALLY wanted a Rainbow Tea Party, whatever that is! Really, finding stuff like this was impossible, so we made it up ourselves. It definitely stretched our creative thinking, but it worked.

Birthdays are a big deal in our family. It's the one day that we celebrate God making that individual for His glory by allowing them to pick what to eat, what kind of dessert they want, etc. It's the only day in our family that we allow the kid to "boss." Not that we don't take their ideas into consideration every other day, but just because we're celebrating God making them them, they get to pick everything. (Which is NOT the case any other day!- and also why we don't believe it is going to create a "it's-all-about-me" mentality- cause it's one day, and it's to be looked forward to for EACH member of the family.) So, that is why we worked with the Rainbow Tea Party theme. It definitely wouldn't have been my pick since it's not easy, but it wasn't about me.

Anyway, here are a few pictures of the party ...it was a good time.

Baby Bethany decked out in Rainbow for the party- she loves all the people.

Belle's cuteness- she enjoyed the food!

Bekah, the birthday girl, all excited!

The Rainbow cake- mmmmmmmm.....

Bekah with Brenna and Taylor

Bekah with Gavin and Aslan

Bethany is so excited about being able to pull up all by herself

Bekah (and prego Mommy) handing out guest's gifts

Belle enjoying her cupcake

Bekah with some of her friends

Six years ago today...

2008-05-21T09:55:00.002-05:00

I gave birth to our firstborn daughter, Rebekah Grace. I cannot believe she is 6 years old! She is such a beautiful little girl, inside and out. (Most of the time!) :) She is growing. We pray for her to really grow in the grace of God, that He would use her in service for His name.

It cracks us up, cause we named her Rebekah after Rebekah in the Bible, with the prayer of her being one who serves those around her and goes beyond what is expected...and Grace because God just blessed us with her, and thinking of graceful- that is so NOT the grace she is! She is known to just fall out of nowhere, off her chair, and then pop right back up saying- I'm okay! Or turn around and knock her head into the wall. She is not graceful in that sense, but instead, we've found her to be gracious. Very sensitive and caring. Motherly. She's an incredible big sister. And she is very aware of people who are hurting around her, and often will ask us about them when we're alone in private. She cries with and for people. That is what we want to nurture in her as well.

So today, our sweet Rebekah Grace- We love you. We thank God for you. We pray you will experience the love of Christ as your Savior, surrender to Him as your Lord, and cherish Him as your greatest Treasure- that your life would reflect those truths of who He is by living a life of grace and truth, and by graciously serving others, hurting with them, loving them, pointing them to Him. Happy Birthday, our little Princess!

For now, we're going to eat lunch at the park with Gammy, Tia, ChiChi, and us girls. Then, we'll have dinner at her favorite chinese place around here. Friday we're having a "Rainbow Tea Party" with family friends. We'll post pics of it later.

16 weeks and counting...

2008-05-19T15:37:00.002-05:00

Today I am 16 weeks pregnant! We cannot believe how fast this is going. I have an appointment this week, and then next month is our ultrasound. We're excited to find out what we're having...IF the baby cooperates. Neither Belle nor Bethany cooperated the first time, and we had to wait another month. We figure we're having another girl, but a boy would be a nice surprise. We're amazed at how quickly the days are going by- next month we'll be half way already!

I am very glad to be past the 14 week point, as our miscarriage in 2004 happened 2 days before I turned 14 weeks. I trust God, and know that it would be okay if we had to experience that kind of loss again, but it is always in the back of my mind. Every time we're pregnant, I am acutely aware of God as the Giver, Sustainer, and the One who takes away life. I am so grateful that He is completely in control, is good, and desires the best for His children- Himself. More than a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby, we desire God. Even if something were to happen in the meantime, I pray that my heart would continue to trust in Him. How we so desire for His glory in all things! Today, I'm grateful for this reminder...and for the Sustainer of life who continues to grow all our little ones, this 16 week inside my womb included.

Big sister brags...

2008-05-16T09:06:00.004-05:00

Okay, y'all (still a little Texas in there!)- humor me while I brag as a big sister!

My littlest brother (ha, he's probably the tallest of us all!) Christian is "graduating" from 8th grade this coming week. Weird! He's going to be a high schooler!!!

My little sister Tiffany (she's almost 19 and is still very little!) has been blessed by the Lord in someone from the church my dad works for just "giving" her a car- literally, just gave it to her. This is after much prayer in God to supply her need in that, however He sees fit. Funny how God works sometimes, huh? We were thinking a good deal, inexpensive- can't get better than that!

My little (not so little anymore) brother Jonathan was just a part of a news feature on Houston's channel 13 about the Interactive Theater that he works for. They started going there as part of home school stuff while he was in elementary school, and he ended up working as an intern while still in school, then being hired on as an actor. A shout out for home schoolers! woo hoo!

Anyway, you can see the little news clip if you go to: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/media?id=6143008

It may take a little while, but he's on there!!!

Thanks for indulging me for a little while! :)

Happy Days...

2008-05-12T08:56:00.002-05:00

In a week's time, we have celebrated our anniversary, my birthday, and Mother's day...now we're preparing for Bekah's 6th birthday, and two weeks later, Belle's 2nd birthday! We need to just keep a "Happy" banner and switch it out as appropriate in our house. These days are full of celebrations and things. It's busy...but fun. Unfortunately, in the hustle and bustle, I realized that we didn't take a single picture- no sweet Mother's Day pics with my three girls. Now I completely see how this happens with more than one child. It's so easy to forget, even for a scrapbooker like myself. I am going to get pictures of the girls, I promise!!!

Sharing in Suffering

2008-05-06T14:52:00.002-05:00

Some of our closest friends, the Igos, have experienced a great loss this afternoon. Ronnie, Melissa's dad, went home to be with Jesus around 2 pm this afternoon. He just closed his eyes and went to sleep- to awake to Jesus in no pain, and to see His Savior face to face, experiencing Him fully. I'm a bit jealous.

Though, I'm not jealous of the intensity of hurt this brings to the hearts of their family. But we share in their suffering, in their hurt. They are as of now, still on the road on their way to Houston. They were unable to make it in time to see him. Trusting God's sovereignty, it is still hard. I can't imagine what Melissa's going through now, unable to see her daddy before leaving this earth. But I know and pray she will trust her heavenly Daddy, who works all things out for His glory and her good. For right now-it still sucks.

I can't tell you how we wish we could be there with them through this. They just walked with us- almost exactly a month ago (as of the 8th)- as Gary's sister Jeanni went home to Jesus. But, we will pray. And we'll be there for when they come back.

Please pray with us for them. Especially for their girls who were very close to him. It is a hard thing to process for any of us, let alone children. Little hearts that you try to protect from hurt, bearing great pain. Be near, Lord! Help us to experience you through it!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

2008-05-06T08:52:00.002-05:00

Gary and I celebrated our 7th anniversary yesterday- Cinco de Mayo! Yes, we went and ate Mexican, which has become the tradition, while sporting our Old Navy Cinco de Mayo t-shirts. A friend, who was one of my bridesmaids, got them for us when we got married. We have worn them every year since. As we were thinking about the different years of marriage, we did talk about how my shirt has stretched with me through all these pregnancies. :)

Never in my life, seven years ago, would I have believed someone had they told me where we'd be in life now- married 7 years, in my 5th pregnancy, having lost one baby but having our fourth, living in Gary's hometown in Missouri and not in Houston,TX, in a big house and not in our townhouse, no longer in youth ministry but owning a growing business...

I laugh thinking about what God may have in the next seven years. Bring it on. As long as we're growing together in You, Lord...it is all so good!

Update on God's Protection/Provision!

2008-05-01T12:24:00.004-05:00

Okay, so just after posting my last blog concerning the van wreck and seeing God through it, I called Gary to be sure he remembered to pick up payroll for our employees from our CPA, just in case I needed to go do it instead. Anyway, so he tells me how he got to see God's hand today through the accident specifically. Here's the deal: well, because of the accident happening where it did, and because they CPA saw it and came to help out, and because my mom couldn't remember the girls' info to give to the police and they went up to the CPA office-because of all this, our CPA realized that while doing our taxes, they completely left Bethany off! So, they got all the info together and told Gary we should be getting another refund in the mail! Can you believe that?! God is good, huh? Had the accident not happened where it did, they wouldn't have seen it, had they not been compelled to come help, had my mom remembered the girls' info...we probably wouldn't have realized that Bethany had been left off til NEXT tax season! And we could really use it now, to help pay off some things. (such as this next baby's bills!) Praise the Lord.

Funny, how after wrestling with God and being okay with the crappy circumstances, He blesses us. After recognizing the real blessing of GOD HIMSELF as our true Treasure, then He also chooses to reveal some other little nuggets of blessing as well. What a gracious God!!!

God's Clear Protection

2008-05-01T10:12:00.005-05:00

God 's very clear protection over our family was evident this past Friday. As you can see, our van is a mess. (I don't think this picture even does it justice.) While Gary and I were at the home school convention, my parents had the girls Thursday through Friday evening. On Friday, my mom opened the store for us, then came into town to run some errands. She was turning left at a light, and a guy completely missed the red light, swerved to keep from hitting the guy in front of him who was stopped at the red light, and hit my mom who was driving our van with our three girls in tow. Thankfully, he hit the only place/corner that none of our girls sit- and everyone, including the driver who hit them, is okay. Living in a small town, our CPA saw the accident and saw that it was our van, and came down to help. They helped my mom with information (she was so shaken, she couldn't think of birthdays and such) and with the girls.

As all the consequences of this have taken place- like no van to drive, dealing with insurance, getting a rental, etc- have occurred, and I've been annoyed at the inconvenience of it all during an already stressful time, I've asked God- Why? Not in like a, you owe me an explanation kind of attitude, but just like- What in the world are you doing here?! I do believe it's like this- a ton of rough circumstances, stressful and hurtful all in one time period, to point us to our absolute need for Christ. We CANNOT survive without Him. We cannot try to go through Gary's sister's death, funeral, new pregnancy, lots of new things with the business, changes with our church family, van a wreck, etc- in our own strength. God is reminding us to run to Him. To rely on Him. To rest in Him. And be thankful for ALL THINGS in Him.

Which, I am so grateful to Him that in His sovereignty, that truck did not hit a second sooner, as it would have hit Belle straight on. As I looked at the van, I was overwhelmed with what "could have been" and just cried in thankfulness. One moment sooner, and we could have been in the hospital with our baby, or planning her funeral. He was gracious to spare us this time. But then- had He not, He would still be worth all the praise. And I'd still want my heart rely on Him. To rest in Him. To be thankful in Him. I want to praise Him from the depths of my soul regardless of the circumstances. Even if He chooses to take away my own children. Or husband. I want to value Him, treasure Him, more than even them, my greatest earthly treasures. God, give us a greater picture of who you are, that we would treasure YOU most!

The BIG News Unveiled...FINALLY!

2008-04-23T16:36:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone! So, the latest BIG NEWS in the Hirsch family?!?!... YES, we are expecting again!

We are due November 3rd. I am 12 weeks along already. With all that's been going on, we haven't been able to spread the news as quickly as usual. Everything is looking good. The usual yucky-ness in the beginning, but so far, not nearly as bad as any of the others. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so we should get a better idea on how things are going.

Please pray with us as we prepare for another little blessing in our family. We are so thankful to the Lord, as we had sought Him on having another, got the answer, and were pregnant in our first "try." (Not that we were expecting to get pregnant so soon...but, God knows best!) Praise Him with us, and pray with us as this little life grows within.

We're headed to a home school convention tomorrow evening for the weekend. Hope everyone has a great one!

The Tooth Fairy Passes By the Hirsch Home

2008-04-21T19:48:00.002-05:00

So, in light of Bekah's losing her first tooth, quite a few people have asked us, or her, if the Tooth Fairy came to visit. Being parents who want to train our kids in the Lord, we want to always be truthful with her and never give her reason to think we lie to her. Especially since we teach her the things of the Lord. However- we DO want to have fun as a family too.

So, after her tooth had fallen out and she showed both of us, we told her she could put it under her pillow and the "Tooth Fairy" would visit, taking her tooth in exchange for $1. Her eyes got wide-HUGE- and she said, "NO WAY. I'm not letting the Tooth Fairy take my tooth. I want to show it to everyone!" We were cracking up. And then we told her it was just playing pretend and that Daddy and Mommy were the "Tooth Fairy". She still insisted on putting her tooth somewhere else, where the Tooth Fairy couldn't find it and steal it, she said. It was SO funny. So, she doesn't think $1 is worth it. :)

Bekah, minus a tooth

2008-04-17T15:48:00.007-05:00

The latest in the Hirsch family- Bekah has lost her very first tooth! Last night, a friend from TX called (Lis- sag!) and she got in on the drama. Bekah came running downstairs, freaking out, because her loose tooth had fallen out while brushing her teeth before bed. She was so excited, but when it finally happened- there was blood! So, it had her a bit shaken, but it was all good. She was so excited. I can't believe our baby is old enough to have teeth falling out- she'll be turning 6 in May!

Family Fun- Much Needed Down Time

2008-04-17T14:23:00.006-05:00

So, last night we skipped "church" (yes, we did!) for some needed down time as a family. We packed sandwiches and had a picnic dinner at the park, played, fed the ducks, and even stopped at DQ afterward for Blizzards- mmmm- and we had a great time. Some pics of the cuties:

Belle, the adventurous one (gotta watch her closely!-she's a mess):

Bekah, cautious and motherly (LOVES doing stuff together as a family- she told us about 100 times last night):

And Bethany, the one who's trying to figure it all out (like how she got into this family!):

Hirsch Family Pics

2008-04-16T20:22:00.006-05:00

So, here are a couple pictures- from the meal at our house after Jeanni's funeral. There is Grandma with all 11 (yes, eleven!) of her children who all made it home for the funeral, as well as a picture of Grandma, Dad Hirsch, and our ever-growing family.

God is Good, ALL the time!

2008-04-14T13:25:00.003-05:00

Well, the weekend of busy-ness has ended, and we're left to process and recover from the whirlwind. God has been very good, faithful to be our strength, peace, and comfort in the midst of it all. We have seen His hand and have experienced His very real presence. What a good God!

Gary did an INCREDIBLE job at the funeral. Of course, He was very concerned about it and if he'd even make it through it. He said he definitely sensed the very real presence and supernatural strength of the Holy Spirit. I can't imagine trying to preach my sister's funeral. (not that I'd preach anyway!) But, the Gospel was clearly presented and it went very well.

The meal at our house afterward was pleasant as well. Everyone got along and there was plenty of food. All 11 of Gary's Grandma's kids were here, as well as many of Gary's cousins, many of whom we hadn't seen in years. Funny how it takes something so tragic to get everyone together.

My parents were so very helpful, doing whatever was necessary to help us- from food prep to dishwashing (my dad was the main dishwasher!) to babysitting...whatever. I am SO blessed with them. Our church family came alongside of us, with so many preparing food to be brought for the meal, phone calls, visits, cards...it was overwhelming to us have all the support. Just to know they were praying and willing to do whatever was needed. Some of our friends drove all the way from Springfield just for the funeral and had to go right back. It was very meaningful to us to have them there. The love of Christ was definitely poured out on us, and we pray, was clearly seen and overflowing to the rest of the family as well.

One awesome God-thing that we'd experienced through Jeanni's death- Jeanni died on the day that one of our former youth (which happened to also be Gary's 1st wedding he's done) gave birth to their first born baby girl. It was such a blessing to know the day He chose to take Jeanni, He ushered in another little girl. This same family had experienced a loss on the day that our baby girl Belle was born. So, this was a sweet reminder of God's grace in our life.

So, we knew after a long weekend, we'd have Sunday coming, with some hard things within our church family. Our pastor announced his retirement, effective in August, and our discipleship pastor and good friend announced his resignation, which actually is effective tomorrow. There is much going on within the church, we believe a weeding out of sorts, and a challenge- do we desire God, or tradition? Will we insist on our own way, or trust God? Will we be willing to learn together in love, or demand that others change to our beliefs? It is hard to go through, but necessary for growth. We're praying that the church body would run to Christ and follow in obedience. We will see. We've been praying for the past month or so on what God wants us to do, with things stirring. Now we're seeking clear direction.

In the midst of it all, we know God is good. We know that He is worthy of worship regardless of circumstance. We know that His ways are better than ours. And we know that He will work all things out for His glory and our good. So glad we can count on that!

Thanks again to everyone for the prayers and support. Much love to you all!

A Hard Week Ahead

2008-04-09T09:16:00.002-05:00

Jeanni went home to be with her Lord yesterday around 9am. We were all in the room with her, and it was peaceful. As we've gone through this process with the rest of Gary's family, it has brought up so many things for us: what we'd want in this situation, thinking through if this were our child as we watch Dad, how faithful God has been in the midst of this in each detail, so many things...

The rest of this week is filled with funeral arrangements and planning, wanting to help make this time as meaningful as possible, as well as full of the Gospel. Dad asked Gary to do Jeanni's funeral. This will be one of the hardest things he's ever done, but wants to as well. We will also be hosting the meal after the service at our house. Please be in prayer as we prepare for these things. Continued strength, healing, peace, and rest in Jesus for everyone. May Christ be lifted up!

Trusting God

2008-04-07T11:21:00.002-05:00

Hi all-
We are in Springfield right now, with Gary's sister Jeanni and the family. Things have gone down hill with her, and we are just waiting for the final word from the doctors after they check everything to be sure there is absolutely nothing else they can do for her. She's on life support, kidney dialysis, etc. Most likely, they will be taking her off the machines today and she will be wholly healed.
We have been mostly concerned about her spiritual condition and for the family during this time. Praise the Lord, we found out that Jeanni had been led to the Lord by a friend she'd worked with in the past. There is much comfort in knowing that she is leaving us, but going home.
Of course, this is just hard on the family, as it's been a long 10 months of battling her cancer, and all the complications that have come with it. We are praying that God be glorified.
We are tired, worn out, but have much peace. We are thankful to God to see His mercy through all of this- our church family and my family has been so supportive and helpful. We definitely could not have done this, been here and available to the family, without all their help. We are so grateful to God for you all.
Thanks for praying...and please continue.

Abiding in the Midst of Life

2008-04-01T10:09:00.003-05:00

My parents gave me a devo for Easter, "Becoming a Woman Who Walks With God" by Cynthia Heald. Yesterday I read this concerning Mary and Martha in Luke 10:

"Jesus wants us to focus our lives on being with Him rather than on busying ourselves with doing for Him. He calls us to abide- to sit at His feet and listen to His words. Like Martha, we are called to change our center of attention from ourselves to Jesus. This change enables us to offer service freely, not grudgingly. In fact, when our first priority is abiding, we cannot help but serve the Lord. Mary's heartfelt desire to be with Jesus later prompted her to serve Him by anointing Him with oil. Jesus praised her act and proclaimed that wherever the gospel was preached, it would be remembered (see John 12:1-3). Because Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus, when she did rise to serve Him, her ministry was profound."

What a GOOD WORD. I SO needed this in the midst of life at this moment. As I'm busy cleaning house, doing laundry, trying to de-germify (like that word?!) from the flu and we're catching up with the business stuff from being sick and Gary's sister in the hospital...(see previous blog)...

I needed to remember that. Even though serving my family is serving Christ and is noble- being WITH Him is so much more important. And if I really want to serve Him by serving them, I need first to be empowered in just resting with Him. Sometimes I get so caught up in all there is to get done, I try too hard in my own strength and end up burnt out. No wonder!

Please continue to pray with us. We got word this morning that Jeanni will be having surgery either today or tomorrow to remove her colon and part of her intestines. They can't wait any longer. She has the worse case of c-diff, an antibiotic induced colotis that has killed her colon. They're worried that if they wait too long, she'll go into septic shock as well as her leukemia coming back full blast. We're trying to decide what we need to do, when we need to go up. Pray we'll rest in Jesus and that the family will know Jesus, that they can rest in Him too.

Seeing God in Suffering

2008-03-31T11:17:00.002-05:00

We have much going on this last week. I haven't been able to post any on Easter, one of my favorite times of the year, or any more on the thoughts of intimacy God's been bringing to my mind. We have had a lot of hard things this past week.

There is so much that I'm thankful for in the midst of it, to see God at work in the midst of suffering.

Gary was gone on business Monday and Tuesday, and he told me with the circumstances, he'd prefer me and the girls to stay at my parents house while he was gone. We had a co-op field trip in West Plains at 9 am on Tuesday that he thought would be better if I was already out there, as well as him feeling better about us not being alone. I tried to talk him out of it, explaining what a pain it is to pack all 4 of us up for just one night, but he stood firm, so I said okay and went. THANK GOD. Again, seeing the blessing of submission- poor Belle was up all night with the flu. Had I been home alone, it would have been overwhelming. My sister had gotten everything ready for me to sleep with her, and the girls were in their room (they have their own room at my parents). Anyway, my mother was up with her almost all night and never came and got me, and I had no idea until morning, when I got up to get everyone ready for the field trip. Needless to say, we didn't go, and I stayed there until I thought it was safe to try to drive home that evening.

Gary's sister, Jeanni, was diagnosed in June of last year with acute lymphocytic leukemia. She's only 35 years old. It has been a constant battle, with one thing to the next. The cancer is in remission, but because of the horrible toxins from the chemo and treatments, she's battling all kinds of other issues. On Thursday, Gary's dad called and said it was pretty bad, with a fight for life going on. She's in the NTICU in Springfield, so we left that evening after closing the store to go see her and be with Dad. It was so sad. She's sedated, so we couldn't visit much with her, but prayed and spent time with Gary's dad. It is a hard thing all the way around. We weren't sure if we were staying or not, but I'd packed a bag just in case. It started pouring, and we went to Jeanni's house to check the weather. While there, Gary decided he'd rather us go home- this would put us at home around 2:30 in the morning. I was like, okay, then let's go. Again- THANK GOD I didn't argue. We got to bed around 3:00 am.

Friday morning, I wake up at 9:00 am, with the flu. It was awful. My parents kept the kids while I was sick. Gary started fighting it, but thank God for our all natural stuff, cause he never got it and kept taking his meds. I realized that in all the rush, I'd forgotten my meds- I will never forget them again! On Saturday, I called my parents to check in and come get the girls- and they all had gotten the flu. I'd forgotten their meds too! Poor things! So, we've all been battling this awful flu that is INTENSE.

There's a lot more going on that I can't reveal quite yet, but there continues to be this non stop struggle, concerns, with various things. Seems like it goes from one thing to the next. Right now, we're trying to recover and just keep up with our responsibilities of our family and business and church. Gary's sister is just hanging in there, not doing worse, but not any better. We're just praying God's glory be clearly seen through this- however He decides to reveal Himself in her situation. Please keep us in your prayers!

Intimacy

2008-03-21T11:39:00.004-05:00

Warning: I'm getting very open here!

So, these past few days I've been pondering some things pertaining to intimacy- in all aspects- physical, emotional, spiritual. The other night, after experiencing a wonderful time of worship in physical intimacy with my husband, Gary later said- I love you so much. I love doing life with you. I love God's gift to us. I love you! Of course, this made me smile, and I laughed with him and said- of course you do, after THAT! :) (though I did agree with him. I love him much!)

So then my thoughts were turned toward my past, and the same kinds of things I've done, unmarried, and think of the shame. Of course, it is right for me to be ashamed for those things, because they were not done in God's design of marriage. But, as I thought through some things, I was so grateful to God for how He's brought much change to my heart concerning the physical aspects of intimacy. I told Gary that I do with him what I would have been embarrassed or completely ashamed of in the past- and in the past, whenever I did those things, I was either drunk or high, and now I'm completely coherent! :)

What I've been really pondering is the correlation between the intimacy of deep conversation/pouring out of the heart for men, and the intimacy of physical intimacy/s*x for women. The amount of transparency, vulnerability, and freedom is equivalent in both. The deepness, the requiring of much trust and ability to be completely free corresponds to each: pouring out of the heart for men = physical intimacy for women

What is required of me to give of myself physically to Gary is the same kind of vulnerability he is required to give to me when he is very open and shares his heart with me. The beautiful thing is, they feed each other. When Gary loves me through being very real, open, and takes the time to really talk with me, I naturally want to respond by being as close to him as physically possible. And when I'm giving to him physically, he is more apt to open up to me.

It is SUCH an amazing gift. And I can see why many marriages, even "christian" ones, struggle. I'm praying that God would continue to reveal more of Himself through this. There is much in Scripture that supports that marriage is as close a picture of God's glory revealed on earth as we get to experience- a picture of Christ and His Bride. I am so wanting our marriage to rightly display God's glory, in every aspect!

What are your thoughts? Scriptural backup? I'd love to hear it!

The Rains Came Down, and the Floods Came Up

2008-03-18T16:00:00.002-05:00

We are singing songs like this, Deep and Wide, Noah and the Arky...

It is raining and raining and raining. It's been non stop thunderstorms since last night. We've had about 9" of rain, and it's starting to overflow, flooding the pastures, running onto the roads.

Of course, something like this is a bit scary for us, flooding and such.

However, there is something amazing about God sending so much rain, that it pervades everything. The ground can't soak it up fast enough, the water just keeps coming down and it floods, overflows, spills over- everywhere.

What a reminder of what our prayer should be. Flood us, Holy Spirit! Pour down from heaven so much of Yourself, that we can't soak it up fast enough, that our dryness is flooded with Your graciousness, and that we're swimming in Your goodness! What a picture- so much of God's mercy and grace poured out, that it affects every area of our life!

Yes, please, Lord, send the flood!

A Deer Reminder

2008-03-13T08:44:00.004-05:00

Okay, I HAVE TO share this amazing, wonderful way God reminded me to submit to, follow, my husband and allowed me to see the immediate result of obedience in that.

If you know me at all, you know I am not the meek, mild natured, quiet type, so the word submission is not so easy for me. Not that I think it's easy for any woman, cause it's not a natural thing at all, but it seems like it's a double whammy for myself. I fight tooth and nail, for no apparent reason at times other than to just fight it out. (Yes, I know, I need Jesus!)

So last night, we went to church. I bring our van with all of us to the store, pick Gary up right at 5pm, when the store closes, then go to eat (love subway!) and then to church. Sidenote: at growth group, I shared about my freaking out at Bekah during math, (see previous blog) and my need for patience, and really, for my selfishness to be overcome. I lost it because I didn't want to take the time and energy it took to help her really understand it. So, just finding a better curriculum or sending her to a school would not actually help the real problem- my heart/attitude, it would just make it "go away", like the issue would just not be seen. Actually, it'd probably come out while trying to help her do homework anyway. So, my answer is to run to Jesus to change my bad attitude, so no matter if we keep home schooling (our intention) or send her to a school, the real problem of my selfishness and impatience will be dealt with.

Back to story: So, we drive back toward home, have to stop midway at our store to get Gary's truck, and then we drive separately home from there. Now, usually, I'll follow Gary, more as a reminder of my "following" my husband. It may not be a big deal that I must actually follow him home, but for me it is definitely a little "check" for my heart. I got in the van, and started to just go, not wanting to wait on him (hmmm...impatience again!) and then got ready to pull out on the road, when the Lord just reminded me to wait. So, I kinda laughed at myself and waited for him. I followed my husband.

After that, I called a friend to see how she was, cause when I'd seen her briefly at church, she seemed down or whatever, so I just wanted to make sure she was okay. We talked a little, then she said she'd call me back after getting kids down to bed. Just as I hung up with her, Gary calls- honey, I just nailed a DEER. Be careful. Now, I am only 2 minutes behind him. As I come up over the next hill, there is a deer standing in the middle of the road. Thankfully, I'd slowed down after being on the phone with him. Then it hit me- not the deer- but the reality of had I not shown that little sign of submission of waiting on Gary and following him, I WOULD HAVE HIT THE DEER! Gary is driving his dad's huge truck, which has this massive guard on it (his dad hit a few deer and was sick of the damage- not anymore!) so it didn't do a thing to his truck. Had I hit the deer, I was in the mini van with our three kids- it wouldn't have been pretty!

So, what a blessing! I am so glad that God reminds us of these things and even allows us at times to see the blessing of obedience. I also realized last night that had I been on the phone with my friend still, I may not had answered the phone when Gary had been calling. And realized that is probably not the best. We talked about it, and I agreed that I would always answer the phone when he's calling out of my respect for him as my husband, though it may not have to be a long conversation or we'll call back. Anyway- yes, these have been good lessons, reminders, for me. Obviously, patience is a part of the fruit of the Spirit I am lacking, so I am asking God's Spirit be poured out on me, so that fruit will be evident in my life.

So, have a great day! I'm enjoying the gift of being a wife and mother...patiently! :)

oh my!

2008-03-12T14:41:00.002-05:00

Oh my, I am not feeling well today...and I was doing school with Bekah, and lost it. I HATE math...I enjoyed it as a kid, but Bekah is definitely much stronger in reading and spelling, English stuff, and some of the math concepts are hard for her to grasp...and I'm at a loss for how to teach it to where she gets it! It's making me crazy! Thankfully, she's really fine at the kindergarten level...we've been doing some first grade stuff, so it's really fine. And Praise God, the home school convention is at the end of April, so I can find some really good stuff to help her- and ME!!!

Anyway- that has been our day. I can't handle much more before church tonight. I am going to get outside a bit and get some fresh air...and maybe then take a little nap! Hope your day is great!!!

Life is good

2008-03-11T16:56:00.002-05:00

So, today I had lunch with a friend who also has three girls...lots in common. It's so nice to just hang out together.

And I must say, my husband is so sweet- he has been purposing to take one day off a month to be home with the girls and be "me"- he does everything from the laundry to school with Bekah- and gives me the day to go and do whatever I'd like to do, to get a break. It's been great- time for me to get some down time, and it has helped Gary to see just exactly what I do. He's always been pretty thankful and appreciative, but now he completely understands why some days dinner doesn't get made, or I have to call him to have him talk to a rebellious child, etc. It's made for me to feel cherished and he's so much more appreciative, that I really want to do all I can to be his helper. Anyway, so this month, we're having to do it a little different with the changes we made at the store- instead of the whole day off, he's doing a couple evenings- so I'm ready for a dinner date or two! Look out, I may just call you! :)

Children are a BLESSING!

2008-03-06T17:30:00.002-06:00

So, I had to remind myself of this today, over and over, as I was trying to get us out the door and to the grocery store to get the all important diapers, wipes, formula, toilet paper, and FOOD before the next big snow storm hits tonight... Belle was doing her terydacatal scream on the top of her lungs in 5 second intervals, Bekah kept asking me the same question over and over as I was trying to gather everything to get out the door, then Bethany needs a diaper change and is screaming because now she is hungry. Yes, the life of a wife, helper of her husband, mother of three beautiful children.

I finally get us all out the door and even remembered everything (list, diaper bag, purse, all three children...) and into the car. I get out the driveway and start on our dirt road...and, these huge hunks of snow come crashing from the roof onto my windshield. No problem, they just fall off, right? Nope- most of them manage to fly off, but a huge portion procedes to smash itself between the windshield wipers, giving me no way to clear the water dripping down my windshield from said snow. I have to go back to my house to get the scraper that was left on the porch to clean it off, all the while on the phone with Gary, telling him he better be praying for me because I'm not feeling the love of being his helper, caring for his house and children. :) So, of course, he makes some comment that makes me laugh and take a breath, say a prayer and trust God to help my attitude that wants to just scream.

So, we did make our super walmart trip- this would be why I hate living out the way like we do, 30+ minutes from walmart- I have to make a "trip" of it. Thank God, my attitude changed, and the kids were wonderful. Bekah was a big helper, steering cart #2 (remember- I have THREE kids- one 6 month old in car seat, and 20 month old in cart seat, 5 yr old walking with me) and there we were, carting through Walmart with the whole crowd that was trying to beat the snow. There were MANY looks from people, mostly smiles, but I know some of them were thinking- don't you know what birth control is? And to them I say- Children ARE a BLESSING!

I DO love being my man's helper, being a keeper of the home and caring for our children while he is away, working. It is a great blessing. Even better- seeing God work a miracle in my heart to not just do what I need to with a bad attitude, but by the end of the day, after talking to God , my hubby, and a few of my close friends who understand and can laugh with me, I am actually LOVING it. What a great opportunity to see and experience God today. He's so good!

So, now, I will be doing school after dinner with Bekah, since after getting home, unloaded, and dinner going, we didn't have time, but thankfully, now I'm actually looking forward to it, as opposed to if I would've done it earlier. And I may just have to make some zucchini bread (bikini bread as Bekah calls it) for the big storm.

Have a great evening- I will be!

More snow!

2008-03-05T00:56:00.003-06:00

We got 6 inches of snow here yesterday...we had to close the store, but we got to be together as a family and play and be lazy all day! Here are a few pics, including our family of snowmen. After playing in the snow, Gary made snow ice cream...he was so excited, like a little kid- it was like sweet cream ice cream, pretty good.

We're thankful for the time God gave us to just be together, with nothing else to do. It was really a nice break from the busy-ness of life. Sometimes we have to be "forced" to be still, don't we?

Praise God for His Goodness in the Midst of Pain

2008-02-29T23:25:00.002-06:00

Our hearts are very heavy...so much stuff that is hurtful. We are praying God's mercy and grace to point us back to Him in the midst of pain, to run to Him and rest in Him. Hurtful, hateful words- cutting to the heart- but they don't know. It is so hard. When one pours into another, hopeful of God at work, fully loving, transparent...and then it being thrown in your face, and lies flung flippantly. Oh, it is HARD! But our God is GOOD.

In this case, our prayer has been that we would live so up front, so transparently, that they would have to make things up in order to say negative things- and our prayers have been answered. God has kept us real with them, despite fear of what being truthful might bring- glory to His name! And now, we need His mercy and grace to keep us at His feet.

On a lighter note- the family has been moved into their house! It is wonderful, a perfect place for them, and beautiful. What an answer to prayer!

God is faithful. He is good. We will rest in HIM, regardless of what is going on around us...or within us...for the glory of His name and for our joy!

Moving Day!!!

2008-02-29T16:45:00.004-06:00

The day is HERE...my family is MOVING OUT!!! After 18 months of living here, they really are moving into their own house. It has been a good time of growth and we've had fun...but it was definitely time for us all to have our own space. Thankfully, we have a very large house, so that everyone had their own rooms and personal space, but that time is now over. We're getting ready to head over to the new house and start unloading the trailer. It's almost surreal. The Lord has provided through us for them, to have a place to live and get established in Missouri. Now, the Lord has provided an amazing opportunity for them in this new house, as they will be "house sitting" for 18 months for a family from our church who is going overseas. It was a fit for both families, providing answers to both of their prayers. God is so creative in His answers sometimes! This also frees us to be able to do what we are sensing God is doing within our own lives. Now that we know my family is provided for, we can pursue those things freely.

Oh, the things we can do, now that we have our house back to ourselves! We've decided that next week, there will be no dinner invites or extra things, because Gary and I will be having our own party for the week... Hmmm... ;)

Another Baby Girl!

2008-02-26T23:58:00.005-06:00

***UPDATE on 2/27: Baby Girl Madden has a name: Amya Jentry Madden! Now they can come home...hopefully this afternoon, they think!

Another Baby Girl has been brought into the world...our friends Adam and Paige Madden welcomed their 3rd baby tonight around 11:00pm-ish, weighing 7 lbs, 8 oz, 20" long. They are still undecided about her name! She has curly black hair...we can't wait to see her!

Poor Paige- she was supposed to be induced at 6:00am this morning, but due to others coming in laboring, she was postponed til 4:30pm this afternoon! It was a pretty quick labor...but to be all prepared, packed up, trying to get sleep the night before, only to be told you have to WAIT even longer! Ugh! I think that would be hard. But, praise the Lord, everyone is doing well and now will just have to give that baby a name and adjust as a family of 5!

Praise you, Lord, for the miracle of birth! What an amazing testimony of our God, Creator, Sustainer. How beautiful are new babies and how close they bring family and friends. Thank you, Jesus!